Shinji's Lullaby
by SDB
Summary: Nothing too original, Asuka and Shinji and a school dance. Things open up when a song is played that Shinji recognises. First fic, sapy, sugary and fluff all included.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Evangelion and if I did this would probably be more original.

**Author's notes:** I only wrote this because I have a rather large Escaflowne fanfic that I didn't feel like working on. I doubt that this is original and I am not particularly fussed if this isn't liked. I just felt like writing this and it is more for my benefit than anything else. I don't need your approval but criticism is welcome good, bad or in my case ugly. This is the first fanfic I have completed and posted and I haven't had it proof read or pre-read so you are perfectly welcome to point out my mistakes and yes writing and posting this is probably one of them. Personally I have a hard time believing I wrote this but then I could never understand my chaotic mind.

**Shinji's Lullaby**

**Chapter One**

It wasn't what they had wanted to do on their Friday night but they had no choice now that Misato had practically ordered them to go. They stood still after Misato had sped away leaving the two teenagers standing outside the school hall with the music from inside floating out to them. Asuka had been interested at first in the idea of a dance but then no one had asked her to go so she had insisted that she thought it was a stupid idea. Shinji hadn't been interested from the start, which was no surprise but Asuka had been shocked to find out that Shinji had turned down invitations from other girls. This had infuriated Asuka and hurt her pride knowing that he had at least been asked to go even if he didn't want to. All this was irrelevant now as they hesitated, filled with a sense of dread as to the prospect of what was awaiting them.

Shinji was in a traditional tuxedo but continually fidgeted with the bow tie as it gripped his neck making his think he was being strangled. Asuka wore a red dress in a colour similar to her hair that along with her pale skin made her bright blue eyes appear shine. Shinji sighed and his shoulders slumped forward as he gave in to his fated feeling that his imminent humiliation was inevitable.

"We might as well go in," he half-heartedly spoke offering his arm to Asuka. As he expected Asuka left him behind as she marched up the stairs toward the entrance. This only enforced Shinji's belief that this was going to be a long night and he followed her up the stairs. He looked up at the figure in red walking in front of him but quickly looked down as he felt himself beginning to stare at her. She was beautiful there was no denying but the fact remains that beauty alone cannot hide everything. Within a week of her arrival every boy in the school had realised this as her temper and attitude had become apparent. Recently however she had stopped tormenting him so much and even given up on harassing him on certain topics like his perceived cowardice. 

Shinji stepped from the dark night into the dark hall instantly feeling the rise in temperature. Asuka stood just inside the door scanning the area for something while Shinji stood just to her right and slightly behind her still wondering what he was doing here. Asuka was still looking around as Shinji spotted Toji standing at the drinks table to his left. He walked in front of Asuka as he moved over to his friend taking a disposable cup and filling it with punch. They acknowledge each other's presence with a quick nod before turning away from the table and looking over scene before them as they stand shoulder to shoulder. Shinji takes this opportunity to assess the layout. The stage is to his left, where most of the light and dancers are, and the entrance to his right. The table behind him covered most of the wall on his side of the room while the other side was lined with chairs and that was where most of the people who weren't dancing were stationed. To his right along the back wall were more chairs and Kensuke was positioned in the far corner with his video equipment. His eyes fixed on a couple standing close to the exit but with their backs against the back wall. Asuka and Hikari were standing watching everything and then commenting to each other.

"Why aren't you dancing with the class rep?" Shinji asked to his taller best friend. Toji shifted his weight nervously as Shinji looked up to him. "What's the matter you asked her to come with you but you're not going to ask her to dance?" Shinji just watched as Toji looked over to Hikari before taking Shinji's arm and pulling him towards the stage. While the lights were brighter near the stage bizarrely the wall between the stage and the drinks tables was incredibly dark. They sat and Shinji felt more comfortable here where it seemed that they couldn't be seen by anyone else in the hall.

"So are you going to answer my questions or are you going to sit here all night?" Shinji looked at a worried Toji who was obviously wanted to say something.

"You know how I said that I didn't know how to dance," Toji started talking even though he was staring at the floor.

"Yeah, Asuka overheard you and made a big deal about it in class but Hikari offered to teach you how." Shinji stated remembering how Asuka had made the most of Toji's misfortune until Hikari had stepped in. If anyone else had done that Asuka would have torn them apart but Hikari seemed to be the only person who Asuka wouldn't challenge.

"Well she did teach me but…" Toji stopped looking away from Shinji.

"But what? You didn't do something stupid, did you?" Shinji watched Toji whirl his head around to look straight at him.

"No of course not," Toji stammered to Shinji who was amused by Toji's facial expression. Toji looked back to the floor as he realised Shinji was only joking. "Before it was just me and her but here there's everybody else and what if…" he stopped leaving the rest to Shinji's imagination. Being what it was, Shinji could imagine several horrific scenarios that could happen none of which he would want to bestow upon anybody. They sat in silence for a while before Shinji took a sip of his drink to clear his mind. He almost choked when he saw Hikari approaching them and gave a quick nudge to Toji to warn him. He looked up and froze as Hikari stopped in front of the two of them.

"Would you like to dance?" were her words but Shinji's heart was in his mouth when they were directed at him and not his friend. Before Shinji's mind could comprehend what was happening Hikari had taken his drink and handed it to a dumbstruck Toji before taking his hand and pulling him to the dance floor. At about halfway Shinji's mind clicked back into gear and he quickened his pace to match Hikari's in an attempt to hide the fact he was being taken out there forcefully. Reaching the nearest edge of the dancers Hikari stopped and turned to face Shinji who responded by tentatively placing his other hand on her waist. They quickly picked up the pace of the music and began to move accordingly. An uncomfortable silence exists as they began to intermingle with the other couples. Shinji focused on his surroundings trying not to collide with any of the other couples but he soon relaxes, as everybody seems to fall into a pattern. Looking at his dance partner Shinji can see that she is good looking in her own way especially now that she has let her hair free of the usual pigtails. 

"So you are just trying to make him jealous," Shinji remarked after observing Hikari's anxious looks over to where Toji is seated.

"I'm sorry Shinji but I just wanted to get him to dance with me and I don't know why he won't." Hikari sighed slightly as they continued to dance amongst the other couples.

"You don't have to apologise it was just a bit of a surprise that's all. I wasn't expecting anyone to ask me to dance but this is nice." Shinji smiles in response to Hikari's smile feeling better that she seems a bit happier about her situation.

"I am surprised that no one else has asked you considering you are an Eva pilot and you are kind of cute," Hikari giggles as Shinji blushes at her comments.

"Thank you but I don't really want people to dance with me just because I'm an Eva pilot." Hikari nods back glancing back over to Toji who is still in the shadows. "He doesn't want to dance because he thinks he's going to embarrass himself and possibly you."

"That is stupid, he doesn't need to worry about that. Maybe I should go and talk to him," Hikari looks toward Toji but can't see him clearly through the shadows.

"Or we could just try harder to make him jealous," Shinji responds and a confused Hikari looks at him. Taking a deep breath to build up his courage Shinji lets go of Hikari's hand and moves it to her waist. With both hands now on her waist he draws Hikari closer. Instinctively the blushing Hikari moves her free hand up to Shinji's shoulder linking with her other hand behind Shinji's neck. "So now this is either going to work or Toji is going to hit me," Shinji's statement receives a giggle from Hikari.

"So is it working or not," Hikari asked and Shinji looked over her shoulder to where Toji was and saw that he hadn't moved.

"I don't think so, wait here he comes," Shinji takes a deep breath steeling himself for the possibility of a physical attack. Toji walked up and it was obvious he wasn't impressed and it took a lot of effort for them not to start laughing. 

"I'm sure Shinji won't mind if I cut in," Toji announced as he stood next to them. They separated and Hikari moved toward Toji preparing to dance with him as Shinji started back to the shadows.

"It took you long enough," Shinji muttered as he left the pair. Toji was puzzled and Hikari only giggled as they started to dance. Shinji sighed with relief as he walked back to the shadows thinking that it wasn't going to have been a complete waste of time being here. Someone grabbed his arm stopping him before he can disappear off the dance floor.

"I thought you said that you had to work tonight and couldn't come." Shinji turned to see the face of a girl he had turned down earlier that week.

"Sorry about that but they cancelled the tests at the last minute," Shinji replied nervously scratching the back of he head. The girl regarded him with a suspicious glare before giving a mischievous smile that increased Shinji's anxiety.

"Well then how about a dance to make up for it," her voice told him that this was more a demand than a request. Shinji also found that the guilt of lying to her to difficult to overcome so he put on a pleasant face to hide his other emotions.

"Sure, it's the least I can do," His voice didn't betray his feelings as he reluctantly made his way back to the dance floor. This became the pattern for Shinji's night as he danced with girl after girl only to be interrupted by the date of that girl before being asked to dance by another girl. During each dance Shinji struggled through hollow conversation trying to be civil even though he didn't particularly want to be there. Eventually Shinji found himself free from the dance floor but to reach the shadows where he felt most comfortable he would have to cross the length of the room. Instead he decide to see what Kensuke was doing and walked over sitting heavily into a chair as Kensuke watches the dance through his view finder. Kensuke had said he wanted to do this so that he could use the school's state of the art video equipment but Shinji had made the observation that it was because he wasn't going to get a date to go with him. Kensuke's reaction had proved Shinji's observation correct and resulted in a round of humiliation for Kensuke that helped Shinji and Toji forget their own problems.

"Twenty seven," Kensuke stated without bothering to look at Shinji.

"Huh?" was all Shinji could muster after his exhausting dance stint.

"You just danced with twenty seven different girls," Kensuke replied looking up after Shinji's lack lustre response.

"Oh, no wonder I feel so tired," Shinji leans back tilting his head back until he is looking up at the ceiling.

"That's not the kind of reaction I expected from someone who just danced with twenty seven different girls," Kensuke hands Shinji a drink sitting down next to him as Shinji downs the drink in one go.

"They were either trying to make their boyfriends jealous or they just wanted to dance with an Eva pilot. I would have felt better if they had wanted to dance with me because of who I am not what I do." Shinji leans forward hanging his head with his elbows resting on his knees.

"I guess you have a point but still twenty seven," he takes the cup from Shinji and moves back behind his camera. Shinji stays still hoping to disappear from view so that the night could end and he could finally get some rest.

"Ikari," Shinji felt her presence before he heard her voice. It was rather unfortunate because while her presence is calming and peaceful her cold monotonous voice always makes him feel uncomfortable. Looking up his breath catches as he observes Rei in something other than a plugsuit or her school uniform. Her pure white dress seems to be almost the same colour as her skin and produces a similar effect to Asuka in that her eye colour becomes even brighter. Her crimson eyes seem to emit a warm comforting glow as she stands looking directly at him with her usual expressionless face.

"Ayanami, I didn't know that you were here," Shinji manages to say feeling the usual awkwardness he feels when he speaks with her.

"Major Katsuragi insisted that I participate, she said that I at least need to have one dance," Rei sat down next to Shinji and looked out to the dance floor.

"That sounds like Misato," Shinji mutters as he too looks out into the crowd of dancing couples. From the edge of his vision Shinji can see Rei looking at him occasionally and then it clicks. Realising that Rei is waiting for him to ask her to dance Shinji hauls himself to his feet.

"Would you like to dance?" Shinji asks holding out his hand to her. Rei only nods taking his hand and standing to follow Shinji out onto the dance floor. 

"Ikari I've never danced before," Rei states as they walk forward still holding hands.

"Don't worry it's not hard and I can teach you a few steps," Shinji sounded confident but he wasn't even sure what he was talking about.

Across the other side of the room in the darkness that Shinji had previously coveted sat a disgruntled Asuka. After she had convinced Hikari to use Shinji as a means to get Toji to dance with her and then Asuka had set about finding her own dance partner. Her efforts had been in vain as most of the guys were too scared of her and therefore couldn't dance properly because of their fear. However what had got to her the most was Shinji and how he and Hikari were dancing. She was relieved to see Toji finally step in to break them up but she was still mad that they had been dancing that close and seemed to be enjoying it. She knew she didn't have to be jealous of Hikari but even Shinji was having a good time even though he never wanted to come. So she had retreated to the shadows after no one wanted to dance with her and had to watch as Shinji was asked to dance by just about every girl there. She like Shinji and she had known that for a while now but she never knew how much or if the attraction was mutual. Just when it had started she didn't know but she knew when she had realised what was happening.

She had spent the day tormenting him as usual, using any excuse to embarrass, humiliate or insult him but he didn't break. This was typical no matter what she did he would still be nice to her in his own way. So after a whole day of torturing him she had spent the night thinking about him. He could be what she had always wanted like when he saved her in the volcano but then he could be an incredibly pitiful, spineless boy at times. She had always assumed a distinction between the two but that night a thought had occurred to her, how could the spineless little boy take all the punishment she had dished out. She had come to the ultimate conclusion that the difference was only minor. He could struggle with everyday living but when it came to the extraordinary feats he would almost make it look easy. That was Asuka's problem she wanted him to live his everyday life like it was a life or death struggle. It was an impossible dream that she thought she could achieve if her new attraction to him proved mutual. That was where the kiss was supposed to help but it only made matters worse especially when she tried to cover herself. Storming to the bathroom complaining like she did wasn't the best option but it was the first one that came to mind. Well only would be a better description since she was still recovering from how good the kiss was, well for her it was he would probably disagree.

So Asuka now sat in the shadows watching Shinji teach that stupid doll how to dance and what was worse was that they were enjoying themselves, well Shinji was she couldn't tell if Rei was. She had wanted to go over to him until she noticed that Rei was already on her way. Her appearance had left Asuka in shock but it turned to dread as she watched Shinji ask her to dance. They had been dancing for a while now settling into the rhythm of the song as they swayed together. Asuka would have left by now but she couldn't bring herself to stand and walk out. Unexpectedly Rei pulls away from Shinji in the middle of a song. She says something and the to Asuka's surprise she smiles before calmly walking out of the hall. Asuka's stares in disbelief but turns her attention back to Shinji who was walking towards the drinks. He looked confused then his face turned into a wry smile as he turned to face the dance floor while taking a sip of his drink. Asuka just watched him willing him to see her then herself to get up and go to him. 

Before she could the song changed and so to did Shinji as its distinctive melody began to play. His face flashed with recognition and then slipped into something that Asuka couldn't describe. A smile had spread across his lips but it was unlike anything she had ever witnessed on the rare occasions she saw him smile. His tranquil demeanour remained as he closed his eyes listening to the music and Asuka never really appreciated how cute he could be until now. However Shinji's serene mood seems to break as the vocals began and he suddenly became angry destroying the empty disposable cup in his hands. Opening his eyes, they still hold his anger but only for a second before it melts away into a deep sadness as he stares at the cup in his hand. Looking over to a bin he throws it in a high arc and Asuka watches it as it sails into the bin producing a small smile on her lips. She then looks back to Shinji but she only sees his back as he slowly trudges to the door and disappears into the night.

Asuka hesitates in her desire to rush after him taking a moment to observe what is happening around her. Even though she wants to be with him she doesn't particularly want to display it to the whole school. She quickly notices that most people are on the dance floor wholly absorbed in their partners including Hikari and Toji. There is hardly anyone else left in the hall except for Kensuke who is still filming the whole event. He was presently more interested in something happening in the crowd of dancers. Asuka shuddered at the though of what he was watching and just walked briskly out the door not looking back. As she reaches the street she looks in the direction of their home only to see an empty road. Not spotting him in any other direction Asuka hurriedly heads in the direction of home cursing the fact that she is wearing high heels. Stopping briefly to remove her shoes and to lift her dress slightly Asuka begins to jog quickly catching up to Shinji. Asuka slows unconsciously smoothing her dress and surprised Shinji hasn't heard her approach. Listening closely as she walks just a pace behind him Asuka can hear him humming the same tune that was playing in the hall. Asuka extends her arm to grab Shinji's shoulder only to emit a low grunt of pain followed by a stream of German curse muttered under her breath. She bends down to look at her injured toe lifting her foot as well to get a better view in the dim light.

"Asuka?" Shinji's voice broke Asuka's concentration and she tipped forward closing her eyes and waiting to hit the ground. Before that happens however Asuka feels Shinji take her weight stopping her from crashing into the ground. Asuka could only look up at Shinji sheepishly as he helped her back onto her feet. He returned he smile but it quickly faded and his face turned bright red. Asuka was slightly puzzled until she realised where Shinji's hands had caught her and she quickly turned away to hide her own blushing face. Shinji seemed to stammer out several attempts at apologies none of which were entirely coherent not that Asuka was listening. She was still trying to chase away the warmth that had engulfed her body and was telling her that her face was probably the same colour as her dress. After recomposing herself Asuka turned her head to look over her shoulder at Shinji who had fallen silent. Shinji stood still with the face of someone waiting to be executed resigned to waiting for Asuka's punishment. Instead he is shocked to see Asuka limp over to the edge of the footpath sitting down on a low wall and looking at her injured toe.

"You're bleeding," Shinji states as he watches from a distance as Asuka wipes the blood from her toe trying to get a better look at the wound. Shinji pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and begins to clean the blood from Asuka's toe. Asuka can feel the heat rising in her cheeks again but it is tempered by the occasional pain from her toe. "Sorry," Shinji says after he hears Asuka hiss at the pain she is feeling from his attempts at cleaning the wound.

"It's okay, I guess I should have been more careful with where I was walking," Asuka smiled seeing Shinji smile. "Why did you leave so early?" Shinji didn't look up as he worked on wrapping Asuka's toe with a handkerchief she handed him. He paused before answering making Asuka think he hadn't heard her question.

"I never wanted to be there in the first place and I had no one left to dance with," Asuka feels slightly hurt that he hadn't though about asking her to dance. Although a small voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she was hiding in the shadows and how she treat him didn't help.

"You didn't seem to have any problems finding someone to dance with," she remarks casually hoping he doesn't read too much into her observation.

"Most of them just wanted to dance with an Eva pilot to make their boyfriends jealous," he replies as he stands having finished wrapping her toe in a temporary bandage. "How is it?" he asks as she wriggles her toe.

"It'll do until we gat back home," Asuka tries to put her shoe back on but instantly regrets it feeling a fresh wave of pain flow through her foot.

"Are you okay?" Shinji asks after seeing her grit her teeth against the pain.

"I'm fine but I am going to have to walk home barefoot," Shinji stepped back as Asuka stood up and dusted herself off. Asuka's tone had been a little harsher than she had wanted and now she could see that Shinji was starting to fear that she was going to explode. "Let's go then," Asuka's tired voice betrays her feelings that she is never going to be able to talk with Shinji without losing her temper. They walk side by side but on opposite sides of the footpath as the travel down a tree lined street. Asuka has sighed tiredly several times focusing on her own thoughts about how stupid she is to let her old habits interfere with her intent on having a normal conversation with Shinji. Shinji on his part has noticed Asuka's conflict since she hasn't insulted him or even yell at consider where he was holding her and that he had help her after she cut her toe. Looking at her as they walk he can see that her eyes are almost closed as she concentrates on what she is thinking. Summoning his courage and with the confidence he gained from this evening he decides to speak.

"So… umm Asuka why did you leave so early?" his weak voice fails to impress even himself but he can see that Asuka is a bit taken aback by his sudden question. Shinji's question caught Asuka off guard and as usual she slipped into her arrogant and superior personality.

"Why would I, the great Asuka Langley Sohryu want to stay around with a bunch of desperate losers who didn't know how to dance?" Shinji watched her perform in her usual manner but noted that she lacked the real conviction that was typical in her self-promotion.  

"I suppose you're right, you weren't out on the dance floor much and when you were you didn't seem to be enjoying yourself that much." Shinji felt a chill run up his spine as he realised what he was saying and waited for Asuka's yelling to begin.

"You were watching me?" Asuka said it in an almost hopeful voice instead of the accusing yell that Shinji was expecting. Asuka had stopped walking and could feel a soft blush beginning to form in her cheeks a feeling that only intensified as Shinji studied her. Shinji just couldn't stop staring first she hadn't been angry that he had been watching. Then she had been almost enthusiastic, as if she had wanted him to be watching her. Now as he watched her look away shyly he could tell even in the dim light that she was blushing and it made her look cute and timid. Shinji watched mesmerised as she become increasingly uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Not being able to stand it any longer Asuka begins to briskly walk away leaving a stunned Shinji behind. He doesn't begin to follow her until he observes her disappearing down a side street, which is in the opposite direction of the apartment. Picking up his pace to a jog Shinji rounds the corner running down the empty street with no sign of Asuka. Almost on instinct he suddenly darts down an alleyway taking several more turns without know exactly why or where he is going.

Emerging from between two severely damaged buildings he comes to a lake created from a crater left after the destruction of an angel. He looks up at the clear sky surprised at how many stars are visible and the brightness of the moon. The water of the lake is perfectly still acting like a mirror and reflecting the clear sky above it. Shinji finally notices Asuka sitting on some rubble off to his right. Her dress is bunched around her knees as she sits dangling her feet in the water with a far away look on her face. He walks up to stand just to her side of her, putting his hands in his pockets and looking out over the water. Even though Asuka seems troubled even sad he doesn't know how to begin a conversation so his thoughts go back to how he got here. He had never been here before but he knew exactly where Asuka had gone and now that he thought about it he didn't know if he could find his way back.

"What does that song mean to you?" Asuka's question shocked Shinji out of his thoughts and he could only stare at her blankly. Asuka turns her head slightly to look at his face before returning her gaze to the water in front of her. "The last song before you left, the one you were humming to yourself, you seemed to remember it and you smiled. I have never seen you smile like that before. I just wanted to know why?"

"Who was watching who?" Shinji replies although he begins to regret it but not in the usual way. Rather than Asuka yelling and screaming at him she turns her face away biting her lip her eyes pressed firmly closed and appearing to regret saying what she did. All this makes Shinji feel guilt rather than the usual pain when Asuka takes a dislike to something he says. Sighing heavily he looks out over the water wondering how to start and how to express what he felt upon hearing that song. 

"It's not a song that I remember the name of or even the words, I only remember it because it was the song my mother used to sing to me." Asuka looks at him but he keeps his eyes fixed on the horizon his face looking peaceful but tinged with sadness. "I guess I completely forgot about it since I never knew which song it was and I only occasionally heard it on the radio. So when I heard the tune I just remembered my mother as if she were humming the tune to me like she used to." A brief silence ensues as Asuka contemplates his answer while examining his face, which is still one of melancholy.

"So why did you look angry if the song reminded you of your mother?" Asuka's voice was genuinely curious but she watches Shinji bowing his head. His pain seemed almost unbearable as he stared intently at nothing in particular. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Shinji just looks up to the horizon with a forlorn smile before beginning again.

"I don't really remember my mother. My father destroyed all the pictures of her and I can't remember what she looked like or even what her voice sounded like. The only time I come close to really remembering her is like tonight, when something I hear or smell reminds me of her. However as I listened to the melody from the song I thought I was just about to hear her sing the lyrics but I heard the singer of the song. I felt anger because it was like I had a piece of her in my grasp and it was ripped away from me. Then I was reminded of everything that I lost when she died since she's the only person that I feel has ever truly cared for me." Asuka sat listening closely watching his every movement and feeling a connection that she never knew could exist. He was close to tears by the end but he didn't cry as he tried to push the memories back.

"Can I ask what happened to her, I mean if it's not too much of a problem," Asuka had tried to ask Misato but she had told her to ask Shinji herself. At the present moment Asuka didn't know if it was a good idea but she wanted to know more. Shinji sighed heavily lowering his eyes once again as he wonders which is stranger Asuka's behaviour and her interest in his past or the fact that he is willing to talk to her about his past.

"She died a long time ago in an accident," Shinji remained focused on the reflection of the moon on the lake's surface. "I don't know what kind of accident but I do know I was there when it happened. I don't remember it at all and I don't think I want to remember it not even if it means that I'll be able to remember something about her. I guess it must have been pretty bad since her grave is empty and even though I visit it, it seems kind of hollow if I cant remember her and if she's not really there. So in the end I have nothing that really connects me to her except those rare memories that I have sometimes like tonight." Asuka can feel an almost irresistible urge to give him some form of comfort but before she can rise to her feet to wrap him in a warm embrace he asks an unexpected question.

"What was your mother like?" this hits Asuka like a bucket of cold water and she turns away from him. Seeing Asuka's head turn away Shinji instantly realises he has said something wrong. He internally yells at himself as he watches Asuka become more withdrawn as she sits silently with her eyes flickering between hate, fear and sorrow. Shinji observes Asuka as she lifts her feet out of the water drawing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. A soft breeze blowing on from the water brings with it a slight chill as Shinji notices Asuka shivering. He doesn't know whether or not to believe that she is shivering from the cold or trembling at the memories of her mother. Asuka gasps as she feels Shinji's jacket being placed over her shoulders, she can still feel his warmth radiating from it as he holds it gently on her shoulders. 

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to?" Shinji's soft voice reassures her and he gives her shoulders a gentle squeeze before releasing them. Before his hands move away Asuka takes his left hand in her right and holds on to it and they both notice that the others hand is trembling. 

"I don't think I can talk about her just yet but when I can I'll tell you. Let's just say that I can remember her but those memories are not pleasant." Shinji only tightens his grip on her hand slightly to let her know he understands. She turns to look back at him and he gives her a small smile that he is glad she reciprocates. 

"We should go home, it's getting late." Using Shinji's hand for balance Asuka turns and steps down of the rubble that she had been sitting on. Asuka smoothes out her dress with her left hand before collecting her shoes from where they lay on the ground while Shinji was looking back wondering which way was the way out. As he thought about it Asuka began to walk off tugging at his hand to break him from his thoughts and he follows encouraged by Asuka's amused smile. They travel silently through streets that Shinji is unfamiliar with but he is happy to be led by Asuka who still hasn't released his hand. As he ponders the significance of this they move into more familiar surroundings allowing Shinji to walk in step with Asuka rather than waiting to see which direction she is going. 

The comfortable silence becomes uncomfortable, at least for Shinji, when Asuka leans into him trying to rest her head on his shoulder while they walk. Shinji almost obeys his first reaction by pulling away and quickly kicks himself mentally for being a coward when it is apparent that Asuka is trying to change her actions toward him. Sensing that she is going to pull away again Shinji lets Asuka's hand go tentatively moving his hand around her back to her waist. Asuka lets out a contented sigh and then leans into Shinji comfortably resting her head on his shoulder and with her hand now free from Shinji's, she reaches around his back pulling him even closer. Feeling a new level of peace in the contact that they are sharing they continue to walk in the direction of the apartment. Shinji occasionally looks down at Asuka's contented face as they walk, her eyes are closed and a small smile is present. She tries to press herself closer to the warmth that they are now sharing and surprisingly to Shinji he finds that he is completely at ease with her contact. The rest of the trip passes in a blur as the walk in their own blissful world. 

Shinji gives Asuka a gentle nudge and when she opens her eyes they are standing at the open front door of the apartment. With a tender push Shinji lets Asuka pass through the door first but immediately feels the breeze cool his warm shoulder where Asuka had rested her head. Asuka walks into the apartment moving towards her own room and wondering what to say now that they are home. Shinji shuts the door behind him and then removes his shoes before walking after Asuka who is about to enter her room. Asuka is surprised to have Shinji catch her hand just as she is about to go into her room to change.

"You should let me take care of your toe," Shinji says when she looks at him.

"Sure," is all she can say, disappointed he didn't say something more but relieved he seemed comfortable in her presence. Asuka sits at the kitchen table while Shinji goes to get the first aid kit. With the warmth of the apartment Asuka removes Shinji's jacket hanging it over the back of her chair. Taking a look down at her toe she can see some dried blood on the handkerchief, which has become dirty from the walk home. Shinji returns with the first aid kit placing it on the table and then taking a seat next to Asuka. She lifts her foot and Shinji takes a light grip on her ankle guiding her leg so that it lays across his lap with her foot hanging just over the far edge. He carefully removes his makeshift bandage feeling it snag momentarily as the dried blood tries to maintain its bond. 

"Sorry," he says noticing Asuka tense up at the pain and seeing fresh blood appear from the wound. He begins cleaning it with some antiseptic looking up at Asuka's face to make sure he isn't hurting her too much. As he finishes he runs his finger up the bottom of her foot cleaning up a trickle of antiseptic that had run down the length of he foot. His smiles feeling Asuka react at the ticklish sensation of his finger on her foot.

"What?" Asuka questions seeing that he is treating her injured toe with a smile.

"I just never knew you were ticklish," he replies again brushing his hand under her foot to emphasize his point. Asuka pulls away from his touch slapping his shoulder playfully.

"Just bandage my toe," her more serious tone has little effect since she can't remove the smile from her face. He complies by quickly wrapping her toe in a bandage and gently smoothing his fingers over it to make sure it is secure.

"There all done, it should be fine as long as you take care of it properly," Shinji begins to pack up the first aid kit as Asuka examines her bandaged toe. Once she is satisfied she wonders what she is going to do next absently watching Shinji as he returns the first aid kit to its usual position.

"I think I might go and get changed," Asuka speaks while Shinji's back is turned walking towards her room feeling a need to think in the absence of Shinji's presence.

"Can I ask you something first?" Asuka halts in her tracks turning to see Shinji nervously standing a few paces away. She wonders what kind of question he is going to ask and how she will answer a question on what their relationship has become. She hesitantly nods her head her mind moving through all the possible questions he would want to ask and some of her answers to those questions. 

"Would you like to dance with me?" Of all the possibilities this wasn't one and she stands blankly staring at Shinji who's anxiety seems to be growing with every silent second. Asuka watches as he starts to show signs that he is getting ready to run away and begins to mentally yell at herself to say something.

"I'd like that Shinji," he sighs with relief smiling to himself that she had accepted his offer. As they moved closer how ever they both became nervous and they tentatively moved into a position to dance.

"Oh, I forgot the music," Shinji says after they are ready to dance. He tries to move but is held in his position by Asuka who doesn't seem disturbed by his mistake. She closes her eyes and then begins to hum a soft tune that Shinji instantly recognises. She opens her eyes to see his reassuring smile increasing her volume and following his movements as he starts to dance. Shinji watches Asuka's face committing her features to memory as Asuka finds it hard to look at him while he is staring at her with that kind of intensity. Asuka closes her eyes trying to ignore the negative feelings she has about Shinji staring and focusing on the positive feelings of dancing with Shinji. Asuka finally gives in and slides her arms around Shinji's neck placing her head on his shoulder feeling an unbelievable inner peace in doing so. Shinji stunned by Asuka's action hesitates before wrapping his arms around her back and lowering his head to her shoulder. Asuka stops humming finding it hard to hold the tune with Shinji holding her so close. They both feel a desire to be closer as if they could melt together to form a perfect whole filling the emptiness they both feel inside.

"You stopped dancing," Asuka finally whispers after she notices that their slow dance has turned into a standing embrace.

"The music stopped," Shinji replies his warm breath tickling the back of her neck.

"Do we really need the music to dance?" Asuka asks hoping that it won't lead to the end of this embrace.

"Do we really need to dance?" Shinji replies, "I'm quite happy doing this." Asuka tightens her hug briefly before she leans back away from Shinji. Thinking that this is the end Shinji reluctantly backs away only to find that Asuka is looking deeply into his eyes. Without a second thought Asuka quickly presses her lips to his in a soft kiss that she waits to be reciprocated. For a brief second that Asuka feels is an eternity she holds the kiss until she backs away beginning to feel the rejection of his lack of reaction. Asuka keeps her eyes closed not wanting to see Shinji's face as their lips part but after a short instant apart her lips again are covered by Shinji's. Shinji's kiss is inexperienced but more forceful bringing a soft gasp from Asuka as she kisses him back dispelling the fears in her mind. They continue to kiss feeling the intensity growing as they begin to understand how to please each other.

"Well I guess the dance wasn't a complete was of time after all," Misato's voice acts like it was intended, bringing a quick end to Asuka and Shinji's kiss. They jump away from each other in shock gaping at Misato as she stands casually against the wall.

"Misato how long have you been standing there," Shinji stammers out as the two teenagers stare at her red faced. The familiar smell of alcohol fills the air leading them to believe that her position against the wall is out of necessity more than anything else.

"Long enough, although I still find it hard to believe what I just saw," Misato comments the grin on her face revealing that she intend to make the most of this situation. Shinji worries about Misato's plans are put aside when he notices the telltale signs of Asuka's temper beginning to erupt in all its terror.

"Don't let her ruin the evening," Shinji tells Asuka as her turns her to face him with a gentle hand on her cheek. Her anger quickly dissipates as Asuka looks into Shinji's soft eyes that are now hovering in front of her. Ignoring Misato Shinji leans in giving Asuka a tender kiss while caressing her cheek with his hand. "I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow," Shinji whispers in her ear and then turns collecting his jacket from the chair and walking into his room. Misato begins to wonder what happened to the old Shinji while Asuka smiles as she touches her cheek where Shinji had last touched her. 

"I guess I'll have to keep a closer eye on you two now that you two are dating," Misato looks at Asuka for a reaction but Asuka's smile continues.

"I guess now that I'll be spending my time with Shinji, Kaji is going to have more time to spend chasing you." Asuka heads to her own room happy that she was able to snap Misato from her cheerful mood. Misato just staggers off to her own room disgruntled that Shinji ignored her and Asuka wasn't going to be any fun to tease.

Shinji lies on his back staring at the ceiling above him while he shelters under the blankets from the chill that has come from the approaching storm. He laments that he was perfectly ready for sleep until thoughts of the significance of the evening's events interrupt his recollection of these events. So lost in his thoughts he failed to hear the faint knock on his door. He only realises that there is someone there when they quickly open the door stepping in and closing it behind them. Asuka stands with her back against the door peering into the darkness toward Shinji who is still lying on his bed.

"Asuka what are you doing in here?" Shinji asks nervously sitting up to look at her. She is dressed in her usual nightclothes and is waiting by the door apprehensively looking at Shinji.

"You're awake, why didn't you answer the door?" Asuka mutters as she crosses the room to the side of his bed. Shinji begins to inch away from her anxiously realising what she is about to do. Asuka swiftly lifts the blanket sliding in next to the retreating Shinji who is now trapped between her and the wall. Frustrated by his behaviour Asuka places her hands on his chest bring herself face to face with him.

"Relax I just came here to talk so no more hentai thoughts," Asuka smiles broadly as she can see Shinji's furiously blushing face. Giving him a gentle kiss she can feel the tension flow out of his body as he relaxes into it. Asuka sighs regretfully as she breaks the kiss resting her forehead against his temporarily. Even in the dark he can see that she is being troubled by something but decides to let her tell him. She moves herself down so that her head rests on his chest with one arm lightly gripping his shirt. 

"Your warm," she mumbles as she moves her body along side his to share in his warmth. Shinji puts one arm around her shoulder while the other delicately stokes her forehand and cheek. If he didn't know better he could have mistaken her for being a sleep but he waited patiently for her to break the silence.

"I wanted to tell you about my mother," Asuka spoke in such a soft voice that Shinji almost couldn't make out what she said.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Shinji whispers to her letting his hand linger on her cheek.

"No I have to do this, you told me about your mother and I want to tell you about mine. I have to do this so that you can understand me better. I want to do this so I can be closer to you than anyone else has ever been to me." Shinji takes her hand from his shirt intertwining his fingers with hers his firm grip an attempt to support her. "My mother had a breakdown but I don't remember her before that happened. After it she didn't recognise me instead she started to care for a doll that she thought was me. All I wanted was for her to notice me rather than that doll so when I was chosen as the second child I was so happy. I ran to tell her because I was special and I though she would notice me then. I burst through the door only to see her hanging from the ceiling dead." Shinji stared down at her as the tears began to well up and her voice began to break. She tightened her grip on his hand and he instinctively strengthened his embrace around her kissing her on the forehead.

"I just stood there looking at her as she hung there dead until I noticed it. The doll she had thought of as me was hanging alongside of her with a noose around its neck as well. So if my mother had seen me as her daughter instead of that doll I would have been up there. She wanted me to die she would have…" Asuka couldn't go on crying into Shinji's chest as he held her still in a state of disbelief. He tried his best to comfort her as she sobbed constantly, muttering sometimes in German or in words he couldn't make out clearly. Slowly her cries subsided the tears only trickling where they had once flooded. 

"I promised myself I'd never cry, I didn't want to seem weak," Asuka manages to speak through her stifled cries. Shinji lifts Asuka's face so that he is looking directly into her tearful eyes. He tenderly wipes her cheeks clearing away the tears and smiling at her to reassure her that he is there for her.

"I don't think you're weak, I doubt that I could have managed if I'd have seen something like that." Asuka smiles back at his supportive words leaning into his hand as it caresses her cheek. Shinji lifts his head as he draws Asuka down for another kiss that is soft and meaningful. They hold it for a long time before breaking it and looking at each other's flushed faces and wondering if the other felt the same way.

"Asuka what does all this mean?" Shinji asks with a soft voice and closely scrutinising her face to determine her reaction. She hesitates carefully considering the question and trying to discern her own emotions and Shinji can see her thinking but decides to clarify his own position. "I mean I like you Asuka, I like you a lot but I want to make sure that…" he is cut off by Asuka placing two fingers over his mouth.

"I like you a lot too Shinji and lets just leave it at that for now and remember I'm not doing this to hurt you." Asuka removes her fingers giving him a quick kiss before laying her head back down on his chest. 

"I don't want to hurt you either," Shinji whispers back as he pulls the blanket up around Asuka's shoulders. Asuka snuggles into Shinji as they both hear the rain begin to come down heavily. They lay in silence only fidgeting occasionally to get into a more comfortable position. Both of them having trouble getting to sleep as they try to analyse what has happened and what they want to happen with their new relationship. They continue to lie in the dark with the only sounds apart from their breathing the thunder from the storm outside or the occasional frustrated sigh.

"So much has happened that I don't think I'll ever stop thinking long enough to fall asleep," Asuka grumbles as she restlessly shifts her position hoping it will help.

"You're not thinking hentai thoughts about me are you," Shinji whispers to her once she has settled into her new position. He watches Asuka's reaction with a smile as she blushes slightly before realising he was only joking.

"Idiot," she whispers poking him in the ribs playfully for added effect. "I'm never going to get to sleep at this rate," Asuka complains again breathing out a sigh of defeat. Shinji waits for a while before he begins to hum the tune that seems to have defined his evening. "Do you really think that is going to help," Asuka asks in a doubting tone while trying not to hurt his feelings.

"Just concentrate on the tune," Shinji replies slightly upset she disturbed him. He begins again and they both close their eyes and concentrate on the tune. As Asuka listens she can feel her mind tiring and the onset of sleep beginning. As she drifts off to sleep she is only aware of Shinji's soft humming and the warmth that she finds being wrapped in his arms. Shinji looks down at Asuka seeing that she has fallen asleep and then closes his eyes in an attempt at sleep himself. Having stopped humming he can hear the rain that has now eased and Asuka's slow breathes as she sleeps peacefully alongside of him. In his mind the song began to be hummed again but this time it was in a female voice that was both familiar but unrecognisable. He waited anticipating when the songs vocals would begin but before he could hear them his fell into the unconsciousness of sleep. 

He awakes feeling an unbelievable level of peace and serenity. He opens his eyes to see a tree, its branches blowing in the wind but he can't hear it. He turns his head to one side to see the breeze flowing over the grass but he can't feel it on his skin. He looks down to see Asuka still lying next to him. She has been watching him closely and is now smiling at him.

"You're awake," Asuka whispers as Shinji can only nod his head to her. "It's nice and peaceful here, I don't think I've ever felt like this before," Shinji just watches her face admiring its beauty brought out by the peaceful atmosphere.

"Where are we?" Shinji asks seeing that her face turns into a puzzled look as she thinks about it.

"I don't know, I only just woke up before you but I think it's a dream," Asuka just looks down at Shinji who is thinking about her reply.

"So none of this is real?" he looks back up at the tree watching it move without sound.

"Maybe we should ask them?" Asuka nods on the direction of a tree just on the shore of a nearby lake. Looking in that direction Shinji sees a woman with her back against the tree facing out toward the lake. Her features are hidden by the shadows from the tree as she watches a young child playing around her. The boy notices a small flower lying in the sunlight in between the woman and Asuka and Shinji's position. He scrambles out of the shade to collect it revealing his features to the two teenagers as they lie still watching the scene.

"Is that you?" Asuka asks as she watches the small boy with brown hair and dark blue eyes collect the flower carefully in his hands. Shinji watches silently as he runs back to the woman carrying the flower like it was a precious treasure. Shinji is disappointed when he can hear their faint voices but not distinguish what they are saying. The woman places the flower she has been given to one side as she lifts the boy into her lap cradling him in her arms. Swaying him gently she begins to hum the hauntingly familiar tune that Shinji has been desperately seeking to hear. 

"Mother," Shinji breathlessly whispers as he watches the scene from his past play before his eyes. Asuka turns her attention back to him watching his reaction as his mother begins to sing. His face turns from one of uncertainty to the serene smile that he had displayed when they had first heard the song in the dancehall earlier that evening. She watches mesmerised by the aura he seems to be producing as he lies peacefully listening to his mother's singing. As she rests her head on his chest she closes her eyes unaware that she now has a similar smile on her face.

Misato stood wide-eyed over the two teenagers that were her responsibility. She had noticed Asuka's door was open and finding her room empty had come to Shinji's finding the two sleeping together. Seeing them when she had arrived back that night had been a surprise but this was a total shock considering what the two of them had been like since they had lived together. She had been fully ready to blast the two of them with a furious rage that would have put an angel to shame but then she had seen their faces. They were both totally relaxed and were wearing the same smile that was unnervingly peaceful. Realising that they both seemed to be happier than any other time she had seen them and considering what they had been through she decided to let it go for tonight. Her anger evaporating she watched them as they sleep in each others arms a small smile appearing on her own lips as she turned to leave. Her smile turned into one of malicious intent as she left the room contemplating what she would do to them when they awoke the next morning. Asuka and Shinji slept on blissfully unaware of Misato's presence both of them listening to the same song as it replaced the nightmares that had haunted their dreams for most of their lives.

**Revision notes:** I made a lot of simple mistakes that could have been fixed by a simple read through. However at the time I couldn't be bothered because this was supposed to be a one shot but a continuation story kept bugging me. That is until I wanted to write but was without one of my other stories. Anyway I made corrections and a few minor alterations but by no means is this perfect. I should also remind people I'm Australia so some things you might think are mistakes aren't where I come from.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I think I mentioned this before but I don't own Evangelion and I doubt I ever will.

**Author's notes:** I have revised the first chapter fixing some mistakes but not doing any major story changes. This is the second instalment, I would apologise for how long it took but I wasn't planning on writing a continuation so I was writing other things. I will write more of this story but it is still secondary to other stories at the moment so it may be a while. I know where the story is going but I don't really know how I'm getting there. I don't have a plan but a general idea of how the story is going.

Shinji's Lullaby Chapter Two 

"Was it all a dream?" was Shinji's first conscious thought for the day as he slowly slipped back to the waking world. The dance, walking home, talking with Asuka and then listening to his mother sing, none of it seemed real but he wanted to believe that there was at least some truth in it. He took a deep cleansing breath and immediately felt the unnatural weight upon his chest. Not wanting to open his eyes, Shinji made an effort to sense his body position and could feel himself smile as he felt the warm body next to him, encircled by his arm. He now had confirmation that not all of it was a dream, unless of course he was still dreaming.

Whatever state of consciousness that Shinji was in, he made no effort to leave it feeling quite content how he was at the moment. However as time slowly passed he found himself becoming bored. The longer it went the more he realised that this couldn't be a dream because nothing was happening. Of course the more he thought about it the more alert his mind became and eventually he came to the point where he knew he had to open his eyes. He squinted slightly as the light began to fill his eyes and looked up towards the ceiling still not willing to move. He blinked several times as his blurred vision detected a difference in the appearance of the ceiling. He pulled the arm that was not wrapped over Asuka out from under the sheets, drawing his fingers across his eyes to clear his vision.

He froze, able to spot the reason for the change in his view of the ceiling. Misato Katsuragi's face stared down at him as he looked up through his fingers at her. Despite her usual morning dress of a yellow top with shorts and her hair tied back in a ponytail, her face was all business. It was the serious face of the NERV operations director that was used to command the Evangelions in their primary mission of destroying angels. The next action Shinji was conscious of was of himself swallowing hard as his hand moved away to give him an unobstructed view of his guardian. Their eyes met and for the briefest of moments her eyes softened and her lips curled into a small smile. All too quickly for Shinji that look disappeared and a quick darting of her eyes told him that he should wake Asuka.

Shinji rocked the second child gently watching the mass of red hair sway with the movements before beginning to move to Asuka's movements. Her first action was to tighten her embrace on his waist, pressing her face harder against him and whispering unintelligibly in protest at being awoken.  As Shinji persisted, Asuka finally raised her face up to look at him, first in confusion and then a warm smile and bright blue eyes that instantly entranced him. Asuka moved her face to within inches of Shinji's, deliberately sliding her body over his that effectively pushed all his blood to his face. She smiled teasingly as she wavered over him not getting close enough to kiss but never drifting too far away. Shinji instinctively placed his hand on Asuka's back, drawing small circles on her shoulder blades. As Asuka succumbed to the moment for their first kiss the third person in the room, tired of being ignored, cleared her throat loudly.

Asuka stopped before her lips met Shinji's, her eyes wide with surprise as she looked over her shoulder into the stern face of Misato. Asuka's guilty smile could be likened to a child that had been caught with its hand in the cookie jar and it had no effect on the battle hardened Major. They stared at each other with the only change between them, Asuka's fading smile. Shinji's view was obscured by Asuka's hair so he shifted slightly to regain a view of Misato. She regarded them for a short while, torn between pulling them into a congratulatory hug and chewing them out for sleeping together. She decided to take a firm stance against them but knew that she couldn't or wouldn't be too hard on them.

"Kitchen, ten minutes," She stated flatly and with authority. Neither child moved for a few seconds before Asuka turned her attention back to Shinji. He thought she was going to wish him a good morning and then return to her room but she only resumed from where Misato had interrupted her. It wasn't hard for Shinji to forget that Misato was still there as Asuka pressed her lips to his, her hands gently caressing his chest as his caressed her back. It took three attempts by Misato to regain their attention and both children looked at her, Shinji still in a daze but Asuka was annoyed.

"I expect you both to be dressed and in the kitchen in eight minutes," Misato announce cutting of the immanent protest from Asuka. 

"Morning Shinji," Asuka whispered giving Shinji another quick kiss.

"Good morning Asuka," he replied and copied her quick kiss with one his own and without hesitation. She smiled down at him before dragging herself out of the bed. Both of them notice a slight chill as she left even though the morning was a warm one after the stormy night. Shinji watched Asuka walking out the door and she indulged him by adding a little extra swing to her hips. Only when she was out of sight did the thought of what she was wearing under the oversized T-shirt occur to him. Luckily Misato moving to the door stopped him thinking too deeply about that.

"You have seven minutes," were her final words before the door shut firmly. Shinji sighed heavily as the emptiness of his room hit him. It wasn't just that he was alone, it was the lack of personal touches that showed this room to be his. At the moment he would have settled for a picture of his two roommates in a frame that he could place beside his bed. He sighed again as he registered that he had spent too much time thinking idle thoughts that would not help in a few minutes time. He got up and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt rather than his usual school uniform. It was Sunday and he thought that Asuka might appreciate him dressing in something other than his standard uniform. Of course considering his lack of clothes and Asuka's abundance, he could see that Asuka may choose to feed her shopping habit by taking him shopping for new clothes, not that he would mind. 

It didn't take long for him to be ready but he wasn't keen on entering the kitchen too early. He sat on his bed wondering what exactly Misato was planning to do and more importantly why. Sure sleeping in the same bed wasn't a great idea but it wasn't exactly an incredibly bad thing to do. Of course that would depend on what Misato believes that they were actually doing in the same bed. Sex was the biggest thing that he could think of that would really test Misato's patience. While he believed that Misato didn't think they had gone that far he was curious as to how Asuka would react to such a suggestion. Normally she would rant and rave about how disgusting the idea was but with the events of last night and this morning he knew that normal would have to be reclassified. 

Tired of waiting for the final few minutes, Shinji stood a walked out of the room. Misato sat in her usual spot with a beer under her hand unopened and four more next to it. The quantity was right for her normal holiday morning breakfast but the fact she had yet to open a single can was a testament to the situation. He walked to the fridge, his presence never acknowledged by the only person he could consider family even though she was not related to him. Pen-pen waited patiently for his breakfast and Shinji obliged by removing the can of chilled fish from the fridge and tipping them into his bowl. Putting the empty can in the trash, Shinji then removed two drinks from the fridge placing one in front of each seat opposite of Misato. Shinji took the seat to the left and waited for Asuka to come and claim the seat to his right.

As he waited he examined his guardian who had still yet to look in his direction. Her left hand sat on the beer can, constantly flicking the ring pull, which was beginning to grate of his nerves. Her right elbow was on the table and her right hand supported her head as she stared off to her left. If Shinji couldn't see her eyes he would have assumed she was staring out the balcony doors. Her eyes however told him that she wasn't looking at anything, only concentrating on whatever thoughts were travelling through her brain. With nothing better to do he opened his drink and took his first mouthful as Asuka exited her room.

Shinji watched her walking towards him and realised that he was smiling without any conscious though to do so. She smiled back looking almost shy under his constant admiring gaze. She went to walk towards the fridge when she noticed that Shinji had already removed a drink for her. She mouthed a thank you as she sat and drank nearly half the drink in her first go, letting out a soft gasp of satisfaction. Before Shinji could wet his lips again with his own drink, the alarm of Misato's watch went of drawing her out of her reverie. She sat up straight and studied the calm faces of her two roommates as the stared back waiting for her to initiate the conversation.  She only sat stoically waiting for one of her two wards to offer some sort of explanation. As Shinji lifted his drink to resume his second sip he decided to speak.

"We didn't have sex, if that is what you are thinking," it wasn't a surprising comment but to Misato the fact that it was Shinji who said it was. He lowered his drink back to the table as Misato noticed that Asuka had shown no sign of surprised by Shinji's comment.

"I didn't think you did," Misato replied calmly.

"Then what is the problem?" Asuka asked quickly and Misato paused not letting the girl have the immediate answer she was expecting.

"The problem is that I found two teenage people responsible for the fate of the world sharing the same bed and I want to know why?" Misato looked from one to the other but neither offered an answer. "Look I don't care that you are dating as long as you are responsible about it and understand that this can not affect your piloting. However I would like to know why after all the fights you two have had, how you came back from a dance and ended up sleeping in the same room." There was a silent pause while the two sides sized each other up.

"So you are not going to punish us if we tell you?" Shinji cautiously asked but doubted they would escape unscathed.

"No you will still suffer some punishment but that still doesn't change my question," Misato watched Shinji watching her but he quickly dropped his gaze and took another drink.

"You aren't giving us much incentive to answer," Asuka replied casually before destroying her can and tossing it into the trash. 

"The fact that I'm asking should be incentive enough," Misato could see that this impressed neither child, so she decided to change tact. "You know you could show a little more respect for your superior officer, guardian and the person who got you two together." Both Shinji and Asuka seemed disinterested until she mentioned the last point and then they looked at her with shocked expressions. It didn't take long from Asuka to become agitated at this new development.

"What do you mean 'the person who got us together'? Just where do you think you come into this relationship?" Asuka was barely restraining herself from losing her temper but Misato was unperturbed. 

"Well for starters who decided you should live here?" She glanced at Asuka who was waiting to pounce on any mistake she could find so she continued. 

"Then there was the synch thing which would have been a lot easier if we had Rei doing it," Asuka twitched slightly but didn't retaliate.

"Of course then there was last night where I insisted that you both go to the dance," Asuka's fist hit the table as Misato gave her a target.

"But you couldn't control that. How could you think that just putting us in a dance hall would lead to anything especially since Shinji was too afraid to ask me there and probably too afraid to ask me to dance?" Asuka smirked in triumph not concerned that Misato was incredibly calm.

"You forgot about Rei," Misato stated and then watched Asuka's concentrating face as she tried to figure out how the blue haired girl was involved. "I took Rei to the dance, actually I ordered her to go and I also ordered her not to leave until she had had a dance. Of course there is only one boy at your school who is not afraid of Rei Ayanami," Misato savoured her victory as Asuka couldn't come up with a feasible come back. She was about to say that the doll had no effect on her decisions when Misato leaned forward.

"I bet you were so jealous of those two as you watched them out on the dance floor," Misato was finding it hard to contain her joy and didn't hear the sound of a can slowly being crushed. Asuka's world was spinning with the idea that Misato was setting her up and that what she was feeling was as good as false. 

"Don't," it was a barely audible whisper but it still got Misato's attention. She turned to her first roommate feeling good and about to ask what he had said but once she laid eyes on him all her coherent thoughts stopped dead in their tracks. His right hand was slowly crushing his half-full can while his eyes were fierce and focused directly on her.

"Don't make me think this isn't real," his voice was clear, low and contained a deadly undertone but it was his eyes that were conveying most of the impact. They weren't cold and unemotional like his father, they were full of emotions that told of all the pain he had suffered and how Misato was only causing him more.

"Don't make me think that it was all planned," Misato had seen her lot of killer looks. Commander Ikari was cold and emotionless making you feel insignificant and worthless and proving that he would kill you without a second thought. However the raw emotional power and pain that she could see in Shinji's eyes made it far worse than his father's ever could be. He was showing her how much he had suffered and how her implications were only adding to that because he cared for her and she was betraying him. His glare was destroying her because it was destroying any emotional bond that they had. If her mind weren't in turmoil it would have been going into damage control.

"Don't make you think that this is a lie," Asuka was sitting right next to him but didn't know what to do. She had knew about his occasional intensity but this was the first time she had witnessed it. While it should have been comforting for him to come to her defence it was also showing how close to breaking point he was and how easily he could reach it. 

"Don't make me think you are manipulating me just like my father," and there it was, the reason that Shinji was close to going of the deep end. Misato hadn't hesitated in trying to force their hands to find out what she wanted to know but she had crossed the boundary and there was no escaping it. She numbly tried to find some way to solve the problem but her mind couldn't function nearly well enough with Shinji maintaining his glare. Thoughts of a solution faded as her mind started to contemplate her failure and even what Shinji would do to her when he snapped. Shinji hadn't even noticed the cool damp liquid of his drink leaking onto his hand as he crushed the life out of the can.

Misato couldn't tell how long it was before she noticed movement but the whole time she sat helplessly watching Shinji glare at her. Slowly Asuka's left hand glided along Shinji's right forearm and then too a gentle hold on his wrist trying to persuade him to release his grip. Asuka persisted even when Shinji seemed not to react and raised her right hand to his neck trying to get his attention away from Misato. For a brief moment Shinji looked into Asuka's face, which was a picture of genuine concern. Misato could see most of Shinji's intensity had drained away when he looked back at her and watched as he surrendered to Asuka's tender touch.

Asuka's head was now softly nestled on Shinji's shoulder as they leaned into each other. Their eyes closed and Asuka allowed herself a contented smile as Shinji's right hand released the crushed can and his other hand was placed on top of her left hand. Misato relaxed, quietly sighing with relief as the two teens lost themselves in the moment. Instead of trying to assess the situation with a clear head, Misato quickly finished of her first four beers of the morning but with out her usual exuberance. She sat on her final beer, examining the scene before her with a discerning eye trying to imagine what could have happened to change her two roommates. Twenty-four hours ago these two were afraid to become close to anyone let alone each other and now they were almost depending on each other.

Misato was suddenly struck by how isolated she felt, as if an invisible barrier was now between her self and the new couple. They were in their own world even though they were only sitting on the opposite side of the table. She felt some sort of loss at this new situation even though in all honesty this could quite possibly be the best thing that could have happened. Well she saw it as a good thing but she doubted that Ritsuko and Commander Ikari would see it in such a way. Misato could feel an immanent headache if she continued on that train of though so she shifted her mind back to confronting the problem in front of her. She chided herself again as she realised there wasn't really a problem until she had created one.

"You know I'll still have to punish you for sleeping in the same bed and insist that you don't do it again," Misato's voice was steady and calm void of any hint of authority. Neither child reacted to Misato's statement that sounded more like a suggestion than a demand. 

"It's like I said before, as long as you new relationship doesn't affect your piloting I can't see a problem. Although I'm not sure the Commander will see it that way but I will be on your side if it comes to a head. Now on with the punishments," the last part was said with more enthusiasm and was followed by something heavy being dropped onto the table. Shinji half opened an eye to see what it was and didn't know whether or not he should be relieved.

The object was a medium sized book that technically belonged to him. It was another one of his life's disappointments since it was an unexpected present from Asuka. He had been surprised and suspicious because there was no real reason for Asuka to do something like that. So when he opened it he wasn't quite shocked to find that it was a western style cookbook that Asuka had insisted he should use often. It was another not so subtle hint for him to try to cook her what she called 'real food'. Of course even though Shinji knew that it was going to be something that was more for her benefit than his, he still felt a pang of disappointment. Right know the book looked to have several pages marked and made it clear that Misato had been preparing for something like this.

"So Shinji for your punishment, every meal I am home this week you have to cook the recipe of my choice," Misato smiled proudly at what the two children considered a lame punishment.

"How is that going to be any different from every other night?" Shinji asked tentatively knowing that he probably wasn't going to like the answer.

"It's different because I don't usual tell you what to make but for the next week here is what I want you to cook." Misato handed Shinji a list that had recipes and ingredients. Shinji's face was one of dismay as he looked over a list of recipes, they were time consuming and difficult with the accompanying ingredients being long and varied.

"It's going to take me all day and I'll have to go all over Tokyo-3 just to get these ingredients," Shinji said in defeat, understanding why Misato was happy about making him cook.

"Don't worry, it looks like a nice day and we'll get to have a long walk together, even if it is to go grocery shopping." Asuka pointed out but immediately noticed Misato smiling like she had something else to inflict upon them.

"Not quite," Misato pause slightly to finally finish her fifth can of beer before she continued. "You Asuka will need to clean the apartment and I mean ALL of the apartment," Misato watch Asuka's bemused face until the complete realisation of her words sunk in. Asuka looked past Misato to the partially open door of Misato's room. Asuka didn't know the exact circumstances but she knew that sometime before her arrival there was some incident that occurred with Shinji and Misato's room. Ever since he has never entered that room for anything and it has been something she naturally followed even though she didn't know why. In any event it was left to Misato to clean her own room, something she rarely did.

"So you expect me to clean the whole apartment including your room?" Asuka watches Misato nod with a small smile of satisfaction on her lips. "But I thought your room was out of bounds?" Asuka asked hoping to try and alleviate some of her workload especially considering she usually does only the bare minimum.

"Don't worry, I'll be there to supervise you and after that you can wash my car," Misato could see Asuka about to explode but she held her tongue for a moment to regain some control.

"Why do have to wash the car as well as clean your room?" Her voice was almost a hiss as she tried to hold back her temper and refrain from incurring a greater penalty.

"Well Shinji keeps the rest of the apartment relatively clean so the only real work you have to do is in my room. So it's only fair that I give you something else to do to make up for it. Do you have a problem with that?" Misato asked the question and waited to see how the German girl would react. Asuka momentarily looked to argue but could tell that Misato was waiting for her to argue, so she decided to give rather than risk more work.

"No," came Asuka's disgruntled reply before she moved her head back to Shinji's shoulder. She settled back in her position closing her eyes to escape the impending reality of her day of manual labour. Misato looked at Shinji, who was looking at the table but was lost in thought, before she stood taking her empty cans to the bin.

"I'm going to take a shower and by the time I'm finished I expect you to be beginning your duties," Misato pause in the bathroom doorway waiting for a response. When none was forth coming she quietly stepped inside, closing the door behind her. The two sat in silence until the sound of running water could be heard from inside the bathroom.

"Shinji," Asuka's soft call went unanswered so she leaned back and turned his face towards hers. "Shinji, what's the matter?" Shinji confronted with Asuka's concerned face just smiled uneasily only making Asuka frown.

"I was just thinking about what Misato said," Shinji pulled away from Asuka so that he could move over to the sink to get a washcloth. Asuka waited for him to return but watched his face constantly as he moved around seeing that he was obviously troubled by something.

"So what is it?" Asuka asked trying not to sound too annoyed by Shinji's silence. "Are you really that upset by Misato finding me in your room or is it the so called 'punishment' she has set?" Asuka watched Shinji wiping up the contents of his drink and could see he was trying to find some way of phrasing his thoughts.

"It's not that, it's just something else she mentioned," Shinji looked at her and could see that she was waiting for him to continue. "I was just wondering what my father is going to do when he finds out," Asuka face only showed confusion at his statement.

"What do you mean? It's none of his business, what could he possibly do?" Shinji just looked at her as if she were speaking in another language.

"You mean what wouldn't he do if he thinks we weren't performing at our best?" Asuka could see Shinji was being serious. "If he thought that it was in his best interests to separate us he would do whatever it took to achieve it," Asuka sat and pondered Shinji's point as he rinsed out the soaked washcloth.

"Then we'll just have to make sure we don't let him," Asuka announced confidently but Shinji didn't turn away from the sink to face her.

"Even if he made you chose between piloting and me?" Asuka only just made out what he said but it immediately sent her mind into a frenzy. Consequently when Shinji turned to hear her answer, she had none and he could see it in her expression. Asuka had to watch as a disappointed Shinji turned silently and walked into his room. Shinji could only feel empty as he realised he would be second to Asuka with her main priority being piloting. On Asuka's part she could see the same thing but admonished herself for not being able to explain herself to him. She knew that he didn't care for piloting and would probably put her as the most important thing in his life. That difference between them made her feel hollow and only fuelled her anger toward herself. She belatedly returned to her room to change into something more fitting for her punishment.

Shinji exited his room carrying an empty backpack and his SDAT to aid in his long trek across Tokyo-3. He passes the bathroom noting that Misato still hasn't finished and then hesitates as he passes Asuka's closed door. He drops his stuff near the door so he can put on his shoes but decides against it and turns back to Asuka's room. He pauses before knocking, trying to hear any noise until he summons the courage to knock. His knock is tentative and quiet but her response is just the opposite.

"I'll be ready in a minute Misato," is her shouted reply that surprises Shinji and almost chases away his resolve.

"It's me, Shinji," his voice matches his earlier knock and he waits for a hostile reaction. What he does hear is a flurry of activity, which sounds like Asuka trying to clean up, and then a startled cry causing Shinji to start to worry. He listens closer to hear Asuka's quiet cursing but all movement within seems to have stopped.

"Asuka are you okay?" Shinji asks again in a stronger voice before slowly opening her door to peek inside. He spots Asuka sitting on the edge of her bed looking down on her bandage toe that is showing the signs of fresh bleeding. He goes back to fetch the first aid kit and then returns to find Asuka cautiously removing the bandage.

"Here let me do that," Asuka looks up to protest but relents and leans back to watch Shinji. He sits in front of her with his legs crossed and puts her foot in his lap before starting to attend to her wound.

"You know I can do that by myself," Asuka makes a weak attempt at a protest while enjoying the attention. Shinji briefly looks up with one eye raised in question making Asuka smile in mild amusement.

"What were you doing anyway?" he asks, returning his attention to his task.

"I was cleaning up a bit," Asuka replies after a moment of hesitation. "Can't have a pervert like you see my lingerie now can I? Besides you would probably die of a nose bleed," Asuka's playful tone causes Shinji to chuckle slightly at what would normally be a bitter insult.

"Who do you think does your laundry?" he doesn't look up but the silence tells his comment had the desired effect. He continues working in the silence until it is broken by an unusually quiet voice from his patient.

"Why are you here Shinji?" Shinji tenses up and doesn't look up knowing that Asuka is watching him closely.

"I came to apologise," he can tell she is frowning even though he hasn't seen her face. "I shouldn't have asked that question…" he was going to go on and explain in more depth but she cut him off.

"Why did you ask, especially when you already knew the answer?" Asuka continued to stare at him even though he wasn't going to look up.

"I though, after last night, things might have changed," Shinji almost jerks his head away from Asuka's touch. After overcoming his normal reflex action, he allows Asuka to tilt his face up so that he is looking at her.

"Things have changed but there are some things that haven't," Shinji can see Asuka grappling for words and waits patiently. "I do care and I don't want piloting to be the only thing in my life but…" Asuka starts to struggle as Shinji's fear noticeably rises with the continuation of her explanation. Slowly her hand drops away from his face, and then she lowers her gaze before flopping back on the bed and letting out a frustrated sigh. Shinji waits for her to speak but then returns to applying a new bandage to her toe. As he finishes and closes the first aid kit Asuka continues.

"Eva has been part of my life for so long that I can't just let it go, not yet. It sounds sad but for most of my life it has been my sole purpose. I can't give it up so easily for something that has only just started. Do you understand?" Asuka sits back up to see Shinji looking at her with a faint smile on his face.

"I understand and besides, you said 'yet' so one day maybe you will. I can wait and I'll show you that you don't need to be a pilot to be important to someone," Asuka smiles at Shinji's reassuring words. "I like you hair as well but I think I prefer it the usual way," Asuka reached up to smooth back her hair now tied back in a pony tail. 

"Well I wanted to make sure that it wasn't going to get in the way. I just wish I could do the same with my fringe," Asuka blew a few stray bangs out of her eyes as she spoke. Shinji stood up and looked around the room while Asuka examined her toe before covering her feet with a pair of socks. Asuka stood up and was confronted by Shinji standing directly in front of her with a white handkerchief folded into a triangle. 

"May I," Shinji indicated he was going to use the handkerchief in some way and Asuka closed her eyes and nodded her approval. Shinji cautiously reached out and used the handkerchief to hold Asuka's stray bangs away from her face. He began to tie the handkerchief at the back of her neck and hesitated when she gasped softly. 

"Is something wrong?" Shinji asks as he finishes tying the handkerchief. Asuka opens her eyes and grins before raising her hands to the back of Shinji's neck. She tickles the fine hairs like he was unintentionally doing to her and her grin widens as she watches him enjoying the new sensation. Shinji stands motionless even after Asuka has removed her hands and only opens his when she speaks.

"My god! I look like some sort of housemaid," Shinji looks at Asuka who is looking at herself in the mirror. 

"Well it's not like you have to go out in public," Shinji meekly speaks, wary of becoming a target for an angry outburst. He is saved by the sounds of movement in the kitchen and Misato's all too cheerful voice.

"Shinji, Asuka you have until I leave my room again to be ready," with that and the sound of a fresh beer being opened Misato entered her room. Much to Shinji's surprise Asuka gave a deflated sigh and the enveloped him in a comfort seeking hug.

"She says that she doesn't mind us but I think she's making us do this because she is jealous," Asuka grumbles into Shinji's ear. He smiles to himself and returns her embrace.

"Well at least you only have today, I'm going to spend the next week cooking just to appease her," he can hear her slightly muffle chuckle.

"So at least there is one benefit from this," Shinji decides against saying anything, happy to just enjoy the moment rather than risk screwing up by talking. "Shinji, why don't you clean Misato's room?" Shinji's smile faded as he remembered something he was less than proud of.

"It was nothing really, just that when I came here I was going to live on my own. I guess Misato took pity on me and decided I should live with her. I didn't really care at first but I started to and also thought she did as well. That was until when I was cleaning her room and I found my supervision record. So I thought that she really didn't care and was just doing it as part of her job. It sort of became a reason for running away after the fourth angel." Asuka leaned back to see Shinji's face but he would look at her.

"So where did you go?" her curiosity into his life before she arrived surprised him so he continued even though he was reluctant to do so.

"Actually most of the time I just walked around trying to figure out where I was going to go. Then I ran into Kensuke and I stayed in one place long enough for Section Two to catch up to me." Asuka just smiled and then placed her head back onto his shoulder.

"That would be just like you, running away but not knowing where you were going." Asuka's words seem to reassure him even though the comment wasn't really a positive one.

"We should really start moving otherwise Misato's going to find something else for us to do as punishment," Asuka grunted a protest before clinging onto him tighter.

"But I don't want to do anything, I'm quite happy right here." Shinji's smile brightened but he slowly peeled the girl off him to look her in the face.

"A piece of advice, take her futon out onto the balcony to air out. Also she usually piles the trash in the corners and some of the cans and instant ramen packs will probably be half full so it's best to just shovel them straight into a garbage bag." Asuka nodded to show her understanding but held onto his arms as he tried to leave.

"You're going to leave without saying a proper goodbye?" Shinji opened his mouth to say goodbye but Asuka's quickly covered it with her own. The force of the kiss pushed Shinji back until he was up against the wall. Shinji quickly overcame his shock and joined in the kiss that left him breathless.

"Wow," was the only coherent thing that Asuka heard him say as he leaned heavily on the wall trying to regaining his breath. Asuka stood back to proudly admire the effect she had on Shinji.

"Now third child you better get going before Misato make things harder on both of us." A dazed Shinji stumbles out into the hall and put on his shoes. Asuka stops midway between her room and Misato's and dashes down the hallway to Shinji.

"Hurry back and I'll give you an even better welcome home kiss," Asuka pecks Shinji on the cheek and then pushes him out the door. The confused Shinji begins his journey trying to decide whether or not it's possible for Asuka to make good on her promise. Asuka walks back to Misato's room to find the door open and her guardian sitting on her futon with beer in hand.

"My, my, don't you two make the sweetest couple," Misato looked at Asuka with dreamy eyes to emphasise her cute voice. Asuka looked at her guardian tiredly realising that this was the first in a long day of teasing. 

"Isn't it great Misato, now the four of us can go double dating. Shinji and me and you and Kaji out on the town drawing the envy of everyone that sees us," Asuka grins at Misato's disgusted look.

"Kaji and I never were and never will be a cute couple," her voice was flat and forceful but she didn't shout. Taking another swig from her beer her face seemed to brighten.

"So Asuka it is time to get started. You just get to work and I'll be right here watching you," Misato smiled evilly making Asuka understand that she just wasn't going to be cleaning the room but also become Misato's slave for the day.

"Fine," Asuka's mischievous grin disturbs Misato slightly. "First I think we'll start with the bed," before Misato could react, Asuka pulled the futon out from under her. Years of drunkenly falling of bar stools meant that Misato didn't spill a drop of her beer as she landed on her back. Misato sat back up and heard Asuka disappearing out onto the balcony with her futon. Looking down Misato could see the clear difference between the clean floor under her futon and the rest of the floor. It was a sight that made her stomach uneasy, so she settled it back down by finishing her beer. 

"It's a wonder with all this filth that you are still alive Misato. God knows what sort of disease is in all this trash." Misato could only nod dumbly in agreement to Asuka's words. Misato sat watching from the security of the only clean patch of floor as Asuka grumbled her way though her work. Misato was amazed at the amount of dirt that Asuka was picking up in her room. It was also a big contrast considering how clean Shinji kept the rest of the apartment. Misato decided that she might have to rethink the rule of keeping Shinji out of her room so that it gets cleaned more often. One thing was for sure and that was she didn't want to clean up after herself considering how much of a slob she was. She knew it was selfish but with everything that was happening it was a lot easier this way, even if she felt terrible for putting so much of a burden on Shinji.

It had been a long day, six hours in fact and this was the first time since she had woken up that she felt relaxed. The long hot bath had been very relaxing but the nagging doubt over a certain roommate was getting to her. Shinji hadn't returned and she was worried even though she knew that he had to walk to the opposite side of Tokyo-3 and back with serval stops in between. Asuka finished brushing her hair and started to replace her ever-present headset. That was when she here a tired male voice announce his return. Asuka smiled to herself, checking her hair and clothes in the mirror and then pausing at the door to calm herself down. She exits the bathroom to see Shinji with his back to her placing the groceries on the table but before she can make her presence know Misato's voice stops her.

"Hello Rei, I take it that Shinji invited you to dinner," Misato voice went over the sound of the TV.

"That is correct Major Katsuragi," Rei's soft voice was almost drowned out by the noise from the TV but Asuka could see the back of the girl's head from where she stood. Asuka notice that Shinji was smiling at her but it quickly faded as she glared at him.

"Come with me Third Child," it was an order but he didn't have a choice considering she took hold of his collar and dragged him to her room. Rei watched them emotionlessly while Misato smiled behind her beer can. Once they were inside the room, Asuka threw Shinji onto the bed and slammed the door. As Shinji tried to sit up Asuka knocked him back down pinning him to the bed.

"What took you so long? Why is Wondergirl here? Did you spend all day with her? What is wrong with you? Why won't you answer me?" Asuka had noticed Shinji's face go from pale to red and now was turning blue and leaned in closer as her stammered out an answer.

"Your… knee… on… chest…" Asuka leaned back and then looked down to see her knee pressed squarely onto Shinji's chest. Quickly rolling of him, Asuka waited as Shinji filled his lungs again in between coughing. He finally calmed down but rubbed his sore ribs as he sat up straight.

"You still haven't answered me," Asuka's voice was distant even though she was sitting at the end of the bed.

"I ran into her at the market," his voice was even and quiet but he didn't look at her knowing she was studying him. "She was shopping and was only buying instant foods and a few fruits and vegetables. I felt sorry for her and asked if she wanted to have dinner here." He looked up at her and her displeased face had softened to the point where she looked like she was about to smile.

"So you only took pity on her?" Asuka seemed to relax as her faith in Shinji was restored.

"Have you seen where she lives?" Asuka shook her head as Shinji turned to face her. "She lives in the old disused NERV apartments that went out of use when the geofront was finished. It's worse than Misato's room and I think she only lives there because no one has told her that she can move. Not that she would if she knew," Asuka appeared to be satisfied and was now smiling. Shinji smiled back as he climbed off the bed and stretched out, still feeling an ache in his chest.

"You don't need to convince me Wondergirl is an idiot," Shinji frowned at her comments. "Okay, I'll try and be nice if you give me something in return." Asuka stands as Shinji looks to be thinking about what he can give her, something Asuka feels frustrated about. She knows exactly what she wants from him and is starting to believe he really is dumb. However the smile that he gives her erases that thought and just about every other thought goes with it.  Time halts as he pulls her closer and the captures her lips with his own. It's a slow, sensual kiss but what makes Asuka's legs weak is the unrestrained emotion that he conveys through the kiss. As they separate Asuka realises she is holding onto Shinji to keep herself from dropping to the floor.

"Is that enough," Shinji's face is flushed just as Asuka's is as they stare at each other. Before they can kiss again there is a loud banging sound as Misato pounds the wall.

"You two better hurry up, we are still waiting for dinner out here," Misato's yell still has enough impact even though its through a solid wall. Both sigh, closing their eyes and pressing their foreheads together. 

"I should go," Shinji reluctantly whispered, waiting a few seconds before slowly leaving the room. Asuka surprises herself by being able to stand without using Shinji to steady herself. As he disappears from view behind the closing door Asuka flops onto her bed. She relives the kiss and revels in the emotions attached to the kiss. Curling up into a ball with a luminous smile Asuka decides on a quick nap before dinner. 

Shinji would consider this to be the most normal time he had ever experienced. Of course this is only what he assumed to be normal for the rest of the world. Asuka had exited her room with a smile and the proceeded to sit in the lounge room next to Rei. Much to everyone's surprise she attempted to enter into a conversation with what some would consider her arch nemesis. It started out on why Rei only wore her school uniform and then moved to where she lived and even what she considered 'fun'. That was where Misato tried to join in but they continued to get the same answer, 'It is not necessary for me to fulfil my purpose'. Shinji found it weird that they didn't ask what her purpose was but he assumed it to be Evangelion related. At the moment they had sat down to eat and the topic had not surprisingly turned to food.

"I know that you don't like meat but just why don't you like meat?" Asuka was becoming aggravated at her lack of progress.

"What Asuka wants to know is why you decided that you didn't like meat?" Rei seemed to consider Shinji's question for longer than she had thought about anything else. While Asuka was not particularly happy about that, it was out weighed by the fact Shinji may be able to get some answers.

"I do not like meat because Commander Ikari does not like meat," Rei continued with her salad seemingly unaware of everyone else staring at her.

"My father is a vegetarian?" Shinji asks not quite believing it for some reason.

"That is correct," Rei replies with out looking up.

"You mean to tell me that the only reason you don't eat meat is because the Commander is a vegetarian?" Rei looks up hesitant in repeat her answer but Asuka doesn't give her a chance. "Have you ever actually eaten meat before?" Rei sits up straight and appears to scan her memory for anytime she has actually eaten meat.

"I believe I have never eaten meat," Rei looks around the table to see everybody has stopped to watch her.

"So how can you not like something if you haven't tried it?" Asuka stares at her ready to gloat over her victory.

"It is not necessary for my dietary needs so I see no need to try it," Asuka's head hits the table with a dull thud.

"It may not be necessary but it is not unnecessary, is it?" Rei looks at Shinji unable to dispute his statement. "So there is no reason that you cannot try at least one bite, would you like some Rei?" Shinji picks up a piece of his chicken and offers it to Rei. Rei considers the offered food as Asuka, Shinji and Misato look on trying to discern what Rei's choice will be. It is almost a shock to see her face move forward as she takes the offered food into her mouth. She chews several times and the pauses, eyes widen for a moment before her chewing resumes at twice the speed. Asuka and Misato are surprised at how much reaction they have seen in Rei while Shinji seems pleased.

"That tasted… different," they all appear to be surprised by her answer.

"Would you like some more?" Shinji asked Rei who was still relishing the taste of the digested meat.

"I would appreciate that," Shinji stands and dishes out a new bowl for Rei. She pushes away her salad to make room for the bowl of chicken curry. Much to the astonishment of the other people at the table, Rei eagerly digs into her food rather than her usually steady pace. Shinji, Asuka and Misato get back to their own meals eating in silence but feeling a sense of accomplishment at getting Rei to try something new.

"Thank you for the meal Ikari, it was… delicious," Misato nearly dropped her beer when Rei said the last word with a smile.

"Thank you for the compliment Ayanami, you should join us again sometime," Shinji avoided looking at Asuka, already feeling her fiery glare.

"That would be nice, will you be having meat?" Shinji looks a little taken aback by the question but Misato answers for him.

"Of course we will be Rei, in a couple of days, since I'm working late tomorrow, Shinji will be making another terrific curry from around the world. You are more than welcome to join us," Misato moves alongside Rei who stood up when she approached.

"That would be satisfactory," Rei replies as Misato's arm encircles her shoulders guiding her out of the kitchen and to the lounge room.

"Now let's get back to the issue of fun," Rei looks up at her superior officer but doesn't get a chance to say anything. "I know you said it wasn't necessary but it's not unnecessary as Shinji said." Rei sat next to Misato as she revisited the discussion of 'fun' armed with a new, proven plan of attack. Shinji just gathered the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink so that he could begin washing them. A thought that had been plaguing him all day, wormed its way back into his conscious mind. As it started to consume his thoughts he failed to notice Asuka standing next to him until she took the first clean bowl to dry it.

"Asuka," Shinji jumped after being startled out of his thoughts by Asuka. "I didn't see you there," he offers in a weak reply to Asuka's inquisitive stare.

"What's the matter?" Asuka asks in a concerned tone but she focuses on drying the bowl in her hands.

"Nothing," he cringes the instant after his automatic response. The look from Asuka tells him that she knows that there is definitely something wrong. He doesn't speak right away, choosing to pick his words carefully to avoid an incident like this morning.

"I was just thinking about tomorrow," he paused waiting to see if Asuka knew what he was talking about, she didn't. "I mean we have to go to school tomorrow and being the first day after the dance and I was thinking…" His voice trailed off as Asuka slowly nodded, starting to understand his misgivings. 

"You were thinking I was going to go to school and insult you like I used to," Shinji nodded but neither spoke as they continued with the dishwashing.

"You said before that some things haven't changed. I just started to doubt that you would admit to liking a boy you publicly announced as a worthless, perverted, idiot just about every school day." Asuka looks a Shinji's forlorn face as he hands her another clean dish and begins to regret her previous actions. 

"You make me sound like a real bitch, you know that," Asuka is surprised that Shinji doesn't come back with his usual 'sorry' but he strangely had a smile on his face.

"Well Toji and Kensuke don't call you the red headed demon for no reason," Asuka just looks blankly at Shinji and Shinji starts to think he shouldn't have said anything. Asuka dries the last bowl as Shinji drains the sink and then washes his hands.

"Don't apologise," Asuka pre-empts Shinji's apology and hands him a towel so that he can dry his hands. There is another pause as Shinji carefully dries his hands not wanting to look at her.

"You still haven't answered my question," he hands the towel back and looks at her smiling face. Normally her smile is uplifting but this type of smiles makes him nervous. He feels justified as Asuka turns to the living room and the two people sitting on the couch.

"Oh Wondergirl! Can I have your attention please," both Rei and Misato turned to look into the adjoining kitchen. Shinji's concern at having an impromptu audience is turned into full-blown panic when Asuka turns to face him. Normally Shinji would look for any way to escape when he saw Asuka's devious smile but she was prepared and didn't give him the chance. Their lips meet in a forceful kiss that stunned Shinji as he was backed up until his back was pressed against the kitchen sink. They held that position for a moment before Shinji surprised Asuka and even himself by fighting back just as hard when he felt Asuka about to separate from him. Asuka allowed Shinji to hold the initiative until her back hit the table then she pushed back just as hard.

From the lounge room, two people watched as the couple battled for supremacy, bouncing between the kitchen sink and table. Misato had smiled when this began but as it progressed, her smile shifted into a frown. As always Rei watched impassively, knowing what they were doing but not understanding why. This was especially due to the Second Child's firmly stated opinion on her fellow pilot. Misato shifts slightly getting ready to hurl her now empty beer can at the two teenagers but relaxing, as they break apart. They both stand in the kitchen trying to regain their breath as they looked at each other's flushed faces.

"There is your answer," Asuka smiles brightly but Shinji blinks as his mind tries to resume normal functions.

"What was the question?" Shinji finally asks, glad that he can at least speak even if he can't think.

"Can't you remember what were talking about five minutes ago?" Asuka watches Shinji's futile attempts to retrieve the requested memory. Eventually he gives in shaking his head in defeat.

"Not when you kiss me like that," they share a cheerful smile, Shinji just happy that Asuka is happy.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Asuka gleefully replies making Shinji blush. Meanwhile, Rei has come to the conclusion that she is no longer required to observe the Second Child. She then does the thing that Misato was dreading, she turns to her for an explanation. Misato looks at her knowing that even though the girl hasn't asked or changed facial expressions she is awaiting an answer.

"I suppose you could say that they are dating now, even though yesterday morning I clearly remember Asuka yelling at him for some reason." Rei looks satisfied, which only means she looks away from Misato after receiving an acceptable answer.

"Do they wish to become one with one another?" Misato nearly choked at the direct question. One look at the piercing gaze and expectant face and Misato knew she had to answer.

"Well hopefully not until they are sixteen," Misato reluctantly conceded.

"Is age important?" Rei asked quickly, showing that she wasn't going to let this go easily.

"Legally yes," Misato replied but it obviously wasn't enough for Rei as she continued to wait for a broader answer. "I suggest you talk to Ritsuko about this. She's a doctor, she could explain it better," Misato sighed in relief as Rei looked away.

"Thank you, I will seek clarification from Dr Akagi," Misato smiled to herself as she thought of Rei asking her friend all the big questions. Although she was sure that her old collage friend would find out that she told Rei to ask her, it was still going to be fun.

"It's late Rei, you should probably go home," Misato stood up with Rei and followed her out to the door.

"What time should I arrive on Tuesday?" Misato looked back with a vacant stare. "You invited me to dinner two days from now," Rei stated to clarify Misato's earlier suggestion.

"Oh yeah, I did. Well about six should be fine, I'll see you then Rei," Misato let Rei exit the apartment.

"Thank Major Katsuragi and good night," Rei disappeared from sight and Misato sighed again. She didn't bother thinking why she was tired even though she hadn't done anything. She only went to get her all-purpose remedy, beer. Misato pulled out another beer and leaned back against the fridge as she opened the can. She stopped before drinking from it when it became apparent the apartment was completely silent. Looking around her mind quickly asserted that the TV was off, the lounge room empty, Asuka's door open and Shinji's door closed. Deciding to let them have some time alone Misato continues with her all-purpose remedy.

However, halfway through the can the sound of discord from a fallen cello changes her mind. She moves to Shinji's door but can't hear anything through it. Knocking loudly and not waiting for a reply, she forcefully slides open the door. Inside she spots the couple on the bed, Shinji pinned at the elbows as Asuka hovers over him. Asuka's hair covers both their faces but the soft sound of German curses could be heard. That ceased when Shinji stretched up from where he was held and silenced her with a soft kiss. They bid their good nights and then a frustrate Asuka stood up to leave.

"You know you have terrible timing Misato, I was just starting to enjoy myself," Misato only smiled as Asuka passed her.

"That would mean I got here just in time," Asuka frowned, stopping just next to Misato.

"Just because you and Kaji couldn't control yourselves doesn't mean we have the same problem," Misato lets the insult pass not letting Asuka antagonise her that easily.

"What happened between Kaji and myself has nothing to do with this," Misato confidently states, assured she could stop any challenge.

"So that story Ritsuko told us, about how you two skipped a week of college to have sex, was a total fabrication?" Asuka smirked as Misato paled.

"That… It… She told you about that?" Asuka grinned with her victory and went towards her room.

"I rest my case," her door shut and Misato could only stare before turning to Shinji who was examining his cello.

"Did Ritsuko really tell you about that?" Misato pleaded with Shinji.

"Umm…well actually she did," Misato dejectedly hung her head. "At least Asuka wasn't there when Kaji insisted on telling me more about it." Shinji swallowed heavily trying to hide behind his cello with the realisation that he probably shouldn't have said that.

"What did… no wait I don't want to know," Misato felt a headache and a need for more than a few beers. She closed Shinji's door and went to the fridge.

Later that night Misato awoke with a start, slumped on the kitchen table with a blanket draped over her shoulders. With a silent thanks to Shinji, Misato stood up to go to her room. Giving in to her doubt however, Misato decided to check on her roommates. Quietly opening Asuka's door Misato could see her sleeping peacefully with her back to the door and her face covered with a mass of red hair. Misato would have left then but a soft click stopped her. Entering the room, Misato looked for the offending object and found it in Asuka's hand. Shinji's SDAT was nestled in the palm of Asuka's hand and set to replay, constantly playing soft music to the sleeping girl. The sight is heart warming but also peaks Misato's curiosity as to how Shinji would sleep without his music. 

Opening his door, Misato looked in to see him also facing away from the door. Stepping inside her eyes travel from his contented face to the red headset cradled in his hands. Misato sighs, trying not to make it too loud but can only smile like she did twenty-four hours ago in this same position. Finally leaving her first roommate to his dreams, Misato went straight to her room and instantly noticed the clean and fresh smell. Wondering how she is going to sleep with the strange smell hanging in the air. That thought is quickly forgotten as she slides into her clean futon and then slips into unconsciousness as sleep overtakes her.

The clock ticks over to four thirty in the morning as a mobile phone rings somewhere in the apartment, only to be answered after several rings. There is a short discontented conversation followed by the sound of someone dressing. A door opens and closes and the ruffle of paper as a note is written is heard before the front door opens and closes leaving only two people and one penguin present in the apartment.

**Additional notes:** Well I hope to have to the third part up sometime sooner that it took for the second. This only took about a week to write but I've been procrastinating about posting it. I know what the third part is about but after that it gets a bit sketchy. All chapters should be about ten thousand words but still that is sometimes not enough. Especially since I needed to trim some stuff out of this part. Anyway this will be continued, when I don't know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Evangelion but you could buy it for me. Of course why would you when you could buy it for yourself.

**Author's notes:** Another chapter, only taking about three weeks but I finished this about a week ago. I am never quick to re-read or edit my work but here it is finally. For those people interested, this story will probably be about seven or eight chapters plus an epilogue. However that is only if I can maintain my interest in the story.

**Shinji's Lullaby**

**Chapter 3**

"Hikari needs me. Don't tell Misato. Asuka," that was all it said. It was a simple note, written on a piece of paper torn from a notebook. It was placed on the kitchen table in full view since she knew he would be the first one up. Shinji stared at it a little longer. It seemed bare, like it was missing something. Giving up, he folded the note and dropped it into his school bag. He headed straight for the shower unconstrained knowing that Asuka wasn't there and Misato was still asleep. When he thought about it, it was turning into a standard pre-Asuka morning. A week ago he would have cherish a day like today but now it was a little empty.

Shinji fell into his old routine quite easily. Feed Pen-Pen, start breakfast and make lunches. That was when his mind drifted a bit. Typically he would have to defend himself against Asuka or Misato at this time, so he could make the lunches without much mental effort. His thoughts flowed over the past two days and he felt a little confidence knowing that Asuka would admit their new relationship to others. That triggered a new fear however, as the admission would surely draw the attention of fellow students. Not just his class but also the whole school. Of course nearly everybody at school knew someone who worked at NERV so by tomorrow practically everybody in Tokyo-3 would know. While Asuka would thrive in these conditions, he knew that he would wilt.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Shinji noticed that he had made enough lunch for three people. Knowing that Toji and Kensuke were never against eating his food rather than the stuff at the cafeteria, he packed the third lunch into a box. At the very least he could offer it to Rei. Hearing a groan from his guardian's room Shinji began to hurry. He packed the three lunches and Asuka's headset into his bag and went back to the kitchen. After setting Misato's breakfast out, he entered Asuka's room and scanned the piles of books until he found the right one. Shinji then headed for the door and as he slipped on his shoes he heard Misato stumble out of her room.

"Asuka and I are going to go early, we'll see you later Misato," Shinji called from the open front door. Shinji heard Misato grunt in reply, not able to form a coherent thought before her morning beer. He didn't bother to acknowledge it and just stepped out the door, closing it behind him and leaving immediately. He was earlier than even his first days in Tokyo-3 but he had succeeded in making sure Misato didn't know that Asuka had left in the middle of the night. So with that settled Shinji made his way to school slowly, enjoying the bright, warm sunshine. 

Again his mind started to wander. Normally he would focus on his music but Asuka had his SDAT. He had seen her scoop it up as she left his room last night and he started to think that he should have checked her room for it. So without something to focus on his mind drifted back to his last negative thought. He frowned as he began to think about what would happen when people heard the news. He hoped it wasn't going to be anything like when the class found out he was a pilot. He was getting used to physical contact, especially with Asuka, but being crowed by a group of strangers again wasn't all that appealing.

It wasn't like it was going to be a big shock to them. After all they had always been a talking point in class, particularly when it was discovered that they lived together. Whether it was teasing or real speculation it came to two schools of thought. The first and most popular was that Shinji spent the most time around her and was probably the only person who could stand her for long periods. Therefore they would eventually end up together because they had no one else that would stay with them. Shinji was afraid of everybody and Asuka practically chased everybody away, except for Shinji who withstood all her attacks. So by default they were bound to end up together.

Secondly came a rare opinion that was occasionally voiced in public and was once overheard by Kensuke. He had listened to some girls saying that you always hurt the one you love the most. This was in reference to Shinji and Asuka but the logic in the matter was lost on the so-called three stooges. They couldn't understand why Asuka would inflict pain and humiliation on someone she liked, especially when they consider how she acted around Kaji. The only thing they did acknowledge was that Shinji seemed to bare the brunt of Asuka's attacks but they passed that off as being a part of being around her almost constantly. Although privately Shinji had considered this again after their first kiss but he still wasn't able to draw any logical conclusions. 

Shinji stopped behind a group of students waiting for the lights to change. They were headed to the same school and he even recognised some that he had danced with two nights ago. They were gossiping amongst themselves and Shinji wasn't paying attention until there were a few cries of astonishment. Shinji then clearly heard the names Toji and Hikari mentioned along with a couple of disbelieving calls of 'No really' and 'You can't be serious.' Just as Shinji tried to strain his hearing to listen to the rest the lights changed. As they walked away, he followed at a distance but things were starting to make sense.

If they were indeed talking about something that happened between Toji and Hikari, it would be the perfect reason for Asuka to go to her friend's aid. That considered whatever happened wasn't likely to be good and Shinji started to feel a familiar sense of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Asuka would side with Hikari leaving him in the middle that is if Asuka hadn't got a hold of Toji first. He would then be expected to help clean up the mess. He was still trying to come to terms with his own relationship and didn't need to get caught in the troubles of someone else's. Of course he knew that if there were problems he would inevitably be dragged into helping, either by Asuka or Toji.

Shinji arrived at school and immediately tried to tune out the buzz of gossipers as they grouped together to trade stories. He didn't want to hear the gossip knowing that it would probably be false or blown out of proportion. He deposited what he didn't need into his locker, traded his shoes and then trudged down the halls. He could tell when people were talking about Toji and Hikari because they stopped talking to watch him pass. Once he was out of earshot they started again but continued to watch him, wary that they may be talking too loud. Shinji entered the class and it was fairly active for that time of day and he decided it was people wanting to arrive early to gossip.

"Hey Kensuke," Shinji called to his friend as he approached but Kensuke put a finger over his mouth wanting nothing but silence from Shinji. Looking at his friend, Shinji could tell he was in his intelligence-gathering mode. Hunched over his computer with his eyes narrowed and darting around the room. He would strain his hearing to get every word that was spoken. Shinji saw it as pointless since he was only gathering gossip. It was useless information since everyone knew it and it wasn't reliable. The real value was in knowing something that someone didn't want anybody to know about. Shinji sighed realising he'd been hanging around Kensuke and NERV too much.

"Shh!" Kensuke exclaimed, annoyed at Shinji's audible sigh. Shinji just shook his head and decide to wait for the clock to countdown to class. It was an excruciating wait and during it he noticed that Rei was already in class. He dismissed talking to her after remembering what had happened when he and Rei arrived home the night before. Asuka would probably not appreciate him talking to Rei before class, if at all. The time ticked on, even if it had appeared to stop, so Shinji turned his thoughts to what would happen when Asuka arrived. Thoughts of her changing her mind dogged him along with thoughts of what he would do if Asuka choose to announce their relationship the same way she had displayed it to Rei. The thought both excited him and filled him with fear as the benefits and consequences flooded his mind.

Normally noise would break Shinji's reverie but in this case it was silence. The constant drone of gossip suddenly ended as Asuka entered the room. A meek looking class rep that was unwilling to look up and lock gazes with anyone closely followed her. She didn't need to worry however, as Asuka glared at everybody with enough venom to make them look elsewhere. Satisfied with her work, Asuka strode down the aisle trying keep her hair out of her face while maintaining her dangerous glare at any dissenters.

"Umm… Asuka," Asuka whirled around to look at the source of the voice. Shinji flinched under her stare but it quickly softened, bringing a soft sigh of relief from Shinji. The rest of the class was mesmerised, waiting for the expected outburst of rage and wondering why Shinji had spoken up.

"You forgot these," Shinji announced in a stronger voice as he offered Asuka her headset. 

"Thank you Shinji," Asuka spoke with a smile and then bent down and kissed Shinji. It was brief and their lips barely touched but it still sent a rush of adrenaline through his body. There was a collective gasp from the class who watched a smug Asuka walk to her desk while Shinji sat staring dreamily toward the front of the class. Asuka congratulated herself as she fixed her hair. She had proven to Shinji that she wasn't afraid to display their relationship in public and also she had given the class a distraction from Hikari. Meanwhile, Shinji was brought out of his daze by a loud thump as a petrified Kensuke toppled out of his chair. Kensuke quickly bounced to his feet but before he could berate Shinji the teacher arrived. 

The class quickly settled into a regular lesson but unlike most days, today they had plenty to talk about. Shinji took note of Toji's absence and it was further proof that something had happened. Hikari was also different. Normally attentive to class, her computer wasn't on and she was making no effort to take notes. Her face showed a range of emotions, disillusion, fear, depression and anger all flashed across her face and at times she looked to be on the verge of tears. Shinji was distracted by something in his peripheral vision and turned to see Kensuke pointing at his computer. Taking the hint Shinji turned on his computer to see what thee fuss was about.

He quickly regretted it as a mass of messages flooded onto his screen. There was one from every guy in the class and all wanted details, some wanted graphic descriptions. Shinji started deleting messages until he came to one from Kensuke. The pause was only a second as the message began with 'You traitor' and ended in the trash. Shinji then began the tedious work of deleting all the messages only to have fresh ones appear in their place. After a while they got the idea that he wasn't interested in talking and they stopped, although Kensuke was the most persistent. He wasn't going to give up so Shinji just let him go, only bothering to delete his messages on mass.

Putting his schoolbooks aside Shinji pulled out the book he retrieved from Asuka's room this morning. It was a restaurant guide to Tokyo-3 and he stood the book on its spine and let it fall open at the most used section. What the book opened to was the most expensive restaurant in Tokyo-3. In the borders around the article were notes written in German that he couldn't understand except for a name, Kaji. Frowning he decide to just read the article and push his doubts to the back of his mind. He was halfway through the article before the sound of rushing air and a damp splat on his neck told him Asuka wanted his attention. He wiped the spitball away and looked over his shoulder to see Asuka pointing at her computer.

"What are you doing?" was the message that had appeared amongst an array of ones from Kensuke.

"Reading," he replied succinctly and with a smile.

"I can see that. What are you reading?" feeling the security of the classroom, Shinji decide to test her patience.

"A book," Shinji heard a low growl of frustration that made half the class tremble.

"Don't act stupid. I know you are reading a book. I want to know what the book is and don't give me any stupid answers." Shinji felt a little let down that his fun had ended but answered quickly so he wouldn't get in any more trouble later.

"Sorry, it's a Tokyo-3 restaurant guide," Shinji stated realising he had lost his place in the article he was reading.

"Don't apologise and why do you need a restaurant guide when I have one?" Shinji was glad for the fact he was typing otherwise he would have apologised again.

"I know you have one because I got this one from your room," even though he was typing, he didn't realise his mistake. The second Asuka read it she started to yell but covered it up by going into a coughing fit.

"What were you doing in my room when I wasn't there? Do you know what I'm going to do when I get my hands on you?" Shinji swallowed hard knowing full well what Asuka was capable of.

"Sorry Asuka, I didn't do anything, I just go the book and left. I promise that's all I did," he could feel Asuka's gaze burning into his back.

"So all you did was get that one book. Why that book?" Shinji raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly back at Asuka. She made it clear by her body language that she wanted him to answer the question.

"Why else would I want a book about restaurants? I wanted to make sure that we went somewhere nice for our first date." Shinji watch a bewildered look appear on her face as she realised how obvious that should have been.

"Date? You never said anything about a date," Shinji smiled at Asuka's change of attitude.

"Well I was going to ask you this morning but you weren't around so I though I might do some preparation." Shinji relaxed a little as Asuka's reply was slow in coming.

"Okay then, page 76 if you can afford it. Otherwise pages 32, 85 or 14 and if you are really poor page 52." Shinji checked the page he had been reading to find it was indeed page 76.

"I was reading page 76, what did you write about Kaji?" Asuka hesitated in answering while Shinji flipped through the book, marking the pages that Asuka had designated.

"It's nothing you can disregard it completely," Shinji wasn't convinced by her reply.

"Are you sure, I know Misato speaks German, maybe I should ask her what it says," looking back over his shoulder he can see Asuka hastily typing.

"No, no it's nothing important just a few details of what we were going to wear on our date there." Shinji smiled, getting an answer he felt was more likely to be the truth.

"I don't remember you going on a date with Kaji to the Tokyo-3 Skylight Bistro," Shinji glanced at her again and saw that she was squirming in her seat. Asuka noticed Shinji watching her but her angry glare was neutralised by a pleasant smile.

"Fine, I didn't go on a date with Kaji I was just fantasising what I wanted our date to be like," Asuka discontentedly relinquished the truth to Shinji.

"Thank you for being honest," Shinji messaged back as he reached the last page to be marked. Page 52 was a familiar looking ramen stand that the book had given excellent reviews.

"You don't have to be smug about it," Asuka responded, still feeling a little vulnerable after divulging what had been personal information to Shinji. She could see Shinji frown and he made no effort to continue their conversation. A hint of guilt began to nag at her mind. What was written wasn't exactly a national secret but to Asuka it still felt like a reminder to a personal failure. It was inconsequential now that she was with Shinji but old habits were hard to break and she made a mental note to make it up to him later.

Shinji hadn't been paying any attention to class, so when the lunch bell rang he was caught by surprise. It wasn't uncommon considering the mind numbing effect of the teacher but today it would prove untimely. After bowing, he sat back down and began to gather what he needed. A warm sensation travelled along his forearm following Asuka's touch as she brushed past his desk. She went straight to Hikari and the pair of them left as quickly as they had arrived. Shinji looked blankly at the door and then realised that the majority of people in the room were watching him. Quickly he finished gathering his stuff and exited the room, hearing the volume inside double as he did so. 

Shinji didn't bother looking for Asuka, knowing that she was probably long gone. He headed straight for the stairs and up to the roof, hoping the fresh air and sunlight would revive his tired mind. While he had occupied his conscious actions with reading the restaurant reviews, he occasionally drifted off onto some of the other thoughts he had today. Added to those he had on his way to school were ones on her notes on page 76. Her last comment wasn't harsh but it seemed to be a reminder to him not to pry too deeply into her life. She had willingly told him some of her troubled past but that didn't necessarily mean she would willingly tell him everything. As Shinji leaned on the railing on the roof with the sun warming him he was given a distraction from his thoughts.

"YOU TRAITOR!!" Kensuke's scream from the stairwell reached the courtyard below and several students glanced around looking for the source. Shinji groaned as he heard Kensuke marching towards him. He didn't particularly want to think but talking to an antagonised Kensuke was not the best way to spend his lunch.

"You… her and… what were you thinking? Are you mad? Have you been brainwashed? I mean you and… and her and… how could you? You traitor, you turncoat, you conspire with the devil and then flaunt it in front of the whole class. I can't believe what I saw. It's burned into my eyes and I'll never be able to remove it. I'm surprised my hair didn't turn white with fright. If Toji had been here he probably would have screamed like a little girl. So now we are going to have to kill you both. We'll need wooden stakes, holy water, silver bullets…" Shinji decided to end Kensuke's little tirade. 

"Aren't you over reacting just a bit," Kensuke stopped and looked at his friend with a horrified expression.

"Over reacting? How can you say that after everything that she has done to you? While your friends that have stood by you are now discarded like yesterday's news so that you can spend time with the red headed devil. I just want to know why Shinji? Why her of all people?" Kensuke imploring just made Shinji doubt his friend's sanity more than he already did.

"She's a good kisser," he replied plainly and even though it was the truth, he was devoid of anything more substantial to say.

"That's all," to Kensuke's disbelief Shinji just nodded. "Is that the best you can come up with? I mean Asuka wouldn't just kiss you for no reason." Shinji could remember being kissed by Asuka because she was bored, which wasn't much of a reason. However he wasn't going to tell Kensuke about that and it wasn't really relevant to what had happened in the last couple of days.

"You wouldn't understand. Even though we don't act like it, we are alike in a lot of ways. We seem to connect together like… I don't know how to describe it, only to say that it is right." Shinji stared out to the horizon trying to fathom just what it was that drew him to Asuka. Kensuke just looked at Shinji wondering if the young pilot was losing it or he was missing something. Deciding to let the matter drop until he had sufficient backup from Toji, Kensuke also turned to look at the horizon. The silence was only momentary though, as Shinji spoke surprising Kensuke.

"Hello Ayanami," Shinji hadn't turned around to see if Rei was there, making Kensuke think it was a joke. Behind them Rei paused, taken aback by Shinji initiating the conversation. Never before had he acknowledged her presence without noticing she was there first.

"Hello Ikari, Aida" Rei finally responded, her voice making Kensuke jump with shock. That puzzled Rei since Shinji had already spoken and Kensuke should have known she was there. As Kensuke was recovering from his shock by trying to regain his breath Shinji turned around to talk to her.

"How can I help you Rei?" Shinji asked as he noticed the curious stare Rei held on Kensuke.

"I was wondering what time I should arrive tomorrow night," Rei fixed her gaze on Shinji as she spoke.

"Didn't Misato tell you what time to arrive?" Shinji replied, slightly confused since he thought he heard Misato tell her when to arrive.

"Major Katsuragi said that I should arrive at about six o'clock but I wanted to know the precise time I should arrive," Rei just stared at a bemused Shinji.

"You mean you want to know the exact minute you should arrive at Misato's apartment," Kensuke tried to clarify.

"That is correct," Rei responds and then look at a stupefied Shinji waiting for the answer.

"Why do you need the precise time? I don't think anyone will mind if you don't turn up on time." Even though Shinji was arguing the point he could see that it was a futile struggle.

"It would be impolite to arrive at a time other than the one designated," a concise and irrefutable answer that was typical of Rei.

"Six o'clock should be fine Rei," Shinji confirmed, deciding it is easy just to give her a time than argue the point.

"Then I will see you at six o'clock tomorrow evening for dinner," Rei announced before she turned on her heels and began to leave.

"Actually Rei, I have an extra lunch, would you like to join us?" Kensuke looked at Shinji in disbelief as he asked Rei to stay.

"That would be acceptable," Rei walked back and Shinji pulled out one of the three lunches he had made. He handed it to Rei and she sat with her back to the railing with her legs crossed and the lunch in her lap.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to be eating with Rei? I mean what will Asuka do if she finds out?" Kensuke whispered to Shinji.

"I invited Rei to dinner last night so I don't see how this is any different," Kensuke looked at him doubtfully and inwardly Shinji also had some doubts. 

"Well it's your funeral," Kensuke muttered as he delved into his bag for his own lunch. Shinji just leaned back onto the railing looking out to the horizon again. Kensuke discovered his lunch at the bottom of his bag buried under tapes, books and a range of other junk he though he needed to have with him. Opening the container, Kensuke dejectedly sighed at the contents. He glanced enviously at Rei who was a third of the way through one of Shinji's lunches. That triggered an alarm in Kensuke's mind. Shinji usually only made two lunches so if he gave one to Rei it was most likely Asuka's.

Kensuke looked to Shinji about to ask him but what he saw stopped all that. Asuka had appeared and had her arms wrapped around Shinji. Shinji hand turned his head to the side and was using his own and Asuka's forearms as a cushion. Asuka was facing the same direction as Shinji and had her head resting against Shinji's back. Kensuke could see why Shinji was having a hard time describing their connection. From where he was watching them he could see that they had similar contented smiles on their faces that only added to their strange aura. A crooked smile played upon his lips, he may understand why they are together but it didn't mean he had to acknowledge it.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Kensuke groaned in an attempt to break the couple's peaceful moment.

"Do you require medical assistance?" Rei's monotone voice was the only reaction that Kensuke received.

"Only if those two don't get a hotel room," Kensuke replied jokingly, forgetting who he was talking to.

"Why? I have observed Ikari and Sohryu kissing for several minutes and have not felt ill." Kensuke regarded Rei suspiciously but considering her character he doubted that she was lying. 

"It's okay Wondergirl, he is just being childish," Rei looked at Asuka and then back to Kensuke. He had begrudgingly started his lunch, unwilling to talk to Asuka so Rei followed suit. 

"Shouldn't you be with Hikari?" Shinji asked after several minutes of silence.

"Yeah, I just came to get my lunch," Asuka looked down to where Rei was quietly eating. "You didn't give it to her, did you?" Asuka inquired after looking at Shinji's face over his shoulder.

"No, I accidentally made three lunches this morning," Shinji timidly answered.

"Why did you make three lunches?" Asuka rested her chin on his shoulder as he answered.

"Well I was wondering why you disappeared this morning," Shinji looked forwards as he spoke finding it too hard to look over his shoulder at her.

"What, you mean you haven't heard what happened?" Asuka incredulously asked as she was stepped away from Shinji.

"Considering some of the rumours I've heard, you are probably better off telling him yourself," Kensuke interjected before Shinji could speak for himself. Asuka just glanced at him and then back to the clueless Shinji.

"Fine, I'll go one better. Let's go Shinji," Asuka grabbed Shinji's arm and started to drag him to the stairs. He was only just able to maintain his balance and snatch his bag as he stumbled along behind her. The pair disappeared watched by a despairing Kensuke and a stone-faced Rei.

"You have to wonder why they would want to be together," Kensuke mused after Shinji and Asuka had left.

"It is human nature to seek comfort from others," Rei responded emotionlessly.

"That still doesn't explain how they became a couple," Kensuke started eating again not expecting the normally quiet girl to speak again.

"I am unsure how but Major Katsuragi mentioned that after the dance they had slept together." Rei thought medical assistance would be required after all as Kensuke started choking on his food.

Shinji had fallen into step with Asuka, although he trailed behind by half a pace so that he following her was easier. Asuka strode through the school oblivious to the students who were watching them and the gossip that was spreading. However Shinji was quite aware of the commotion that they were causing and occasionally chanced a quick glance around. This only confirmed that as soon as he and Asuka were noticed, they became the sole focus of the other student's attention. Shinji was starting to become unsettled until Asuka made a sudden turn and almost pulled him off his feet. Shinji stumbled as he regained his balance and noticed that Asuka had let go of his hand to look back around the corner of the building. She was glaring at any potential spies who would try to eavesdrop on them. 

Once she felt the onlooking students had proper warning she turned and walked along the side of the building. Shinji followed behind her as they moved through the shadows cast by the building to the right and the trees to the left. They came to the back of the building, which also seemed to be the back of the school, where Asuka again followed the building. She then turned left into the trees and brought Shinji out into a little clearing between the school boundary and the building. Hikari sat there with her back against a tree and her legs pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were closed and her face relaxed but it showed signs of lack of sleep and tears. She looked up and saw Asuka coming, her face showing relief but it became one of confusion when Shinji followed her in.

"Now lets get this over with," Asuka huffed as she dropped down to sit next to Hikari.

"Get what over with?" Hikari asked in a soft voice as Shinji sat down opposite both girls.

"Tell Shinji what that idiot, jock friend of his did," Hikari looked into the ground next to her.

"Um… Asuka maybe she doesn't want to talk about it?" Shinji offered, seeing that Hikari looked reluctant to talk.

"You're the one who wanted someone other than me to handle this," Asuka spoke without her usual volume. Hikari looked slightly uncertain, trying to decide whether or not Shinji would help.

"What exactly do you want me to do?" Shinji asked apprehensively. With all the gossip and rumours he had a fair idea that something bad had happened and that he was about to be volunteered by Asuka to help clean up the mess.

"You are Toji's friend so you have to go and talk to him for us about what happened," Asuka stated flatly trying to hold back her frustration.

"So… Umm… What did happen?" Asuka shot Shinji a deadly glare and was about to lose control when Hikari spoke up. She started talking about what happened with her eyes closed and barely moved once she had begun. Asuka had heard all this before and turned her attention to Shinji. He was listening intently and realising the gravity of the situation, tried not to miss a single detail. Asuka studied Shinji's face trying to discern the emotions that played upon it. Confusion, disbelief and occasionally anger were the most prevalent emotions that Asuka could decipher. More importantly was Shinji's right hand.

To Asuka the unconscious trait that showed Shinji's agitation was the clenching and unclenching of his right hand. At the moment this was the barometer that was going to decide Shinji's usefulness in this situation. If he wasn't affected by what he heard then he wouldn't be effective when he talked with Toji. That would mean Asuka would have to do it herself. However Hikari had forbidden this because she knew that Asuka would probably do serious physical harm to Toji. Asuka couldn't understand Hikari on that point but the best alternative was to send Shinji in her stead. So as Hikari finished, Asuka smiled, as Shinji's hand seemed to move of its own free will.

"I know Toji is not the brightest guy but I didn't think he would do something that stupid," Shinji bewilderedly commented. 

"So what are you going to do about it?" Asuka demanded as Shinji tried to hide the fact his hand was twitching.

"Me? Why do I have to do something?" Shinji stammered as Asuka approached him.

"Because I am asking you," Asuka sweetly replied but it only confused Shinji more. "Look, Toji at least needs to show his face and apologise. He hasn't shown up today we need someone to make sure that he knows that he has done the wrong thing and is suffering because of it. Hikari won't let me deal with it so it has to be you," Asuka forceful voice was tempting Shinji to try and escape.

"Well what exactly do you want me to do?" Shinji sighed in resignation. This was something Asuka wasn't going to let up on and although he wasn't good with confrontation it seemed better to have one with Toji rather than Asuka.

"How should I know? Yell and scream at him, guilt trip him or even hit him for all I care just make sure he apologises and begs for forgiveness." Asuka backs away from Shinji after her arm waving rant ends. Shinji looks at Asuka as she drops back down next to Hikari. The whole time his mind trying to determine what to do but he was continually sidetracked by his conflicting emotions. It wasn't just about Toji and Hikari but himself and Asuka and the constant barrage of thoughts added to his dejected state of mind. His thoughts were broken as Asuka's stomach rumbled, reminding the girl of her hunger.

"Ah Shinji, do you have… Thanks," Shinji tossed Asuka her lunch watched by Hikari who was also feeling some hunger pains.

"Um… Asuka can I have some?" Hikari whispered, embarrassed that she had not only missed breakfast but also forgotten to make her own lunch.

"Here, have mine," Shinji offered before Asuka could answer Hikari's question. They both looked up to Shinji who was standing in front of them with his bag in his right hand and the offered lunch in his left.

"Thank you but what are you going to eat?" Hikari responded as she timidly took the meal.

"It's okay, I'm not hungry at the moment," Shinji offered a weak smile of reassurance before he closed up his bag. "Well I'll see you later," Shinji said belatedly as he walked out of view. Hikari had noticed Shinji's despondent behaviour but Asuka had not.

"Weren't you a little harsh on him," Hikari asked as she prepared to eat Shinji's lunch.

"Huh? Who Shinji?" Asuka distractedly looked up at Hikari.

"Yes Shinji, he looked a little depressed when he left," Hikari's voice expressed concern which caught Asuka's attention.

"Left?" Hikari watched Asuka suddenly scanned the area looking for Shinji. When it was clear he wasn't there she jumped to her feet and rushed after him. She caught him, as he was about to walk around the corner of the building. He let out a yelp of surprised as Asuka's hand clamped on his shoulder and spun him around. Her breathing a little ragged, Asuka gripped both hands on Shinji's shirt as she pinned him to the wall. A shocked Shinji stared at Asuka who was studying him with a look of concern. Shinji's surprise faded back to his depressed look as they continued to stare at each other in silence. Shinji's downcast features brought out a rarely seen emotion on Asuka's face, guilt. 

"I'm… sorry," Asuka's quiet voice came as she looked down, unable to look at Shinji's face.

"Don't worry, it didn't hurt that much," Asuka briefly looked up and then understood what he meant.

"It's not about that. I'm sorry about being hard on you about Toji. He's still an idiot and I don't see what Hikari can see in an ape like him but she won't let me do anything. I've wanted to lash out at something all day but I didn't want it to be you. So I'm sorry," Asuka looked at a stunned Shinji who couldn't believe he had just heard Asuka apologise. Asuka stared into Shinji's chest as he failed to respond to her apology. She was startled by Shinji's hand as the back of his fingers traced down her cheek.

"Did I just hear the great Asuka Langley Sohryu apologise?" Shinji asked teasingly. Asuka looked up at Shinji's smiling face and smiled back as she drew her face to within inches of his.

"Don't get used to it, especially if you don't do what I want." Asuka held the distance between them as Shinji tentatively attempted to kiss her. Tired of waiting Shinji stretched an arm behind her back and pulled her to him. Enjoying his boldness Asuka let her arms wrap around his neck as she melted into his embrace.

"Asuka are you… Whoops, sorry," Hikari disappeared blushing furiously after venturing out to find Asuka. The moment broken, Asuka leaned back but didn't relinquish her hold on his neck.

"So are you going to join me for lunch?" Asuka's soft voice was very inviting for Shinji.

"Sorry but I have a few things to do," Shinji unenthusiastically stuttered as Asuka batted her eyelids.

"Fine but we'll resume this later," Asuka seductively whispered. After a quick peck on the cheek Asuka walked back to where Hikari was, Shinji watching her all the way. He shook his head to recall his previous task and started to walk again. No one noticed or no one particularly cared as Shinji walked straight out the front gates and away from the school.

Shinji spotted Toji's house as he turned the corner and his pace started to slow. He had dreaded a confrontation but as he travelled he came to the conclusion that it was inevitable. Unfortunately he was given the job of being the middleman and now he was almost to Toji's place. Of course it would have been worse if Asuka had decided to take the initiative. So now Shinji was stuck with trying to decide what to do when he saw Toji. Asuka's advice rang through his head but the idea of hitting his friend wasn't appealing. However when he thought of Hikari's story, striking his friend seemed a lot easier.

He recalled Hikari's story and the fact that she was close to breaking down in tears. This contrasted greatly with the cheerful girl he was dancing with only a couple of days ago. He reached the door and knocked, his right hand remaining in a fist to stop its movement as he bowed his head to study it. Asuka's words also rang through his mind as she expressed her opinion on how to deal with the situation. Shinji could feel his shoulders tense up as he focused on keeping his hand from flexing. Asuka's words, Hikari's face and all his thoughts came to a crescendo as the door opened.

"Hey Shinji, what…" The sound of flesh on fleshed echoed through the empty street.

Toji regathered his thoughts as he lay on his back with his eyes closed. Replaying and organising events into a coherent order, Toji pieced together what happened. He opened the door, said a few words, got a close up of Shinji's fist, saw the blue sky above Shinji's head, the white of the ceiling and then his eyes closed as his back impacted on the floor. Reopening his eyes he saw a nervous Shinji standing over him with his bag in one hand and the other scratching the back of his head.

"So I guess we are even," Toji muttered after working the soreness out of his jaw.

"Well not exactly," Shinji mumbled as he looked down at Toji. He was feeling the guilt of acting as Asuka would have and not as he should have. Toji regarded his friend for a few moments noticing an awkwardness that was different from how Shinji usually acted.

"I guess you spoke with Hikari then," Toji watched Shinji's slow, affirmative nod. "Well I suppose I deserve it but it still doesn't make me feel any better." Toji groaned as he stood and closed the door, leading Shinji inside.

"Actually I was sent to make sure that you apologised," Shinji stated as Toji sat on the arm of the couch.

"You were sent?" Toji questioned, realising that his friend probably wouldn't have come of his own free will.

"Yeah, Hikari wouldn't let Asuka confront you, so Asuka sent me instead," Toji chuckled a bit imagining Asuka ordering Shinji to attack him.

"So then it was her idea for you to punch me," Shinji sat in a chair opposite Toji before speaking.

"Well she suggested it but said I had a choice as long as you begged for forgiveness. I was going to ask your side of the story first but I sort of got worked up on the way over." Toji could understand Shinji's thoughts since he had done the same thing several times, like when his sister was hurt.

"Don't worry, like I said, I probably deserve it," Toji consoled Shinji who still looked a bit guilty at having hit his friend.

"So are you going to tell me your side or not?" Shinji hesitantly asked as the pair threatened to lapse into silence.

"Do you really want to know?" Shinji nodded again since he already knew what the likely story was going to be. Toji began recounting the events from his perspective with Shinji as his avid listener. As he spoke, Toji showed that the weight of guilt was heavy on his shoulders and he leaned forward rested his elbows on his knees. His head was bowed but Shinji could see his furrowed brow as he concentrated on expressing the events in as much detail as he could remember. As Toji's voice trailed off at the end of his story, both boys sat in silence until Toji started to look up.

"So that's everything I…" for the second time that day Toji found himself flat on his back due to a punch from Shinji. This time however, the pain was going to linger as his cheek stung from a venomous punch. Toji put it down to the fact that Shinji would have had to stand and take a step forward before he would be in range. Toji opened his eyes again to see Shinji standing over him.

"Sorry," Shinji offered weakly as he shook his wrist trying to remove the pain in his hand.

"I said I deserved it but I don't see why you had to hit me again," Toji mumbled a bit due to the constant ache in his cheek.

"Let's just say that Hikari was a little more… articulate in how she told her story," Shinji also admitted to himself he was listening to Asuka's advice more than his own thoughts.

"Just like the class rep to be diplomatic about it," Toji sighed and closed his eyes. Shinji examined his friend from his position before going to the kitchen. He returned with an icepack for the darkening bruise on Toji's cheek.

"You might need this," Shinji presented the icepack to Toji who took it and placed it to his face.

"Well at least the red headed devil hasn't completely driven the nice guy out of you. Although you really shouldn't hang around her as much as you do because you are starting to act like her." Shinji blushed but Toji missed it.

"Actually I'll probably be spending more time with her," Toji glanced at Shinji wanting a more complete answer. "You got any food?" Toji paused, reluctant to let the matter drop but relented feeling his own hunger. He nodded thinking he would at least get a decent meal as Shinji returned to the kitchen. As the sounds of a meal being prepared floated in to Toji, he climbed to his feet and entered the kitchen, the icepack still held in place. He dropped heavily into a chair at the table and he watched Shinji bustling about the kitchen making a simple lunch.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Toji grumbled as he slumped over the table.

"Well Asuka wanted an apology at least," Shinji spoke over his shoulder as he worked.

"But do you think that will be enough?" Toji waited as Shinji pondered the question.

"No," came his flat reply as he turned and placed two plates on the table.

"Your not much help, I mean you are supposed to be my friend," Toji complained taking a bit of his sandwich by wincing at having to move his jaw.

"I distinctly remember telling you not to do anything stupid," Shinji coldly stated to the miserable Toji.

"You aren't much help," Toji pushed away his food and watched Shinji eating calmly. "What do you do when Asuka is mad at you?" Shinji just gives Toji a strange look but Toji doesn't seem to notice it.

"I apologise profusely, do whatever she wants and stay out of her way," Shinji reels off his actions without pause.

"Sounds like you just give into her," Toji sounds slightly bemused but realises he shouldn't be.

"Basically yes but you have to remember that Hikari isn't Asuka," Shinji finishes his sandwich and starts to clear the table.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Toji begs as Shinji saves Toji's meal for later.

"A lot of grovelling probably," Shinji half joked as he dropped his plate into the sink.

"That isn't much help," Toji stated, unamused.

"Well you should have apologised right after it happened rather than letting her run away. She's had the night to dwell on it and the school has rumours flying about which only makes things worse." Shinji turned to look at his friend who was staring into the table.

"How am I supposed to face her?" Toji mumbled into the table, not bothering to look up.

"It's not going to get any easier and you are going to have to face her sooner or later," Toji begrudgingly nodded in agreement. "Glad you agree because Asuka and Hikari have clean up so we can catch them after they finish." Toji looked up as Shinji started walking toward the door.

"What? I didn't think you meant today," Toji cried as he dumped his icepack into the sink and hurried after Shinji.

"Would you prefer tomorrow in front of the whole school?" Shinji question as he picked up his bag.

"I see your point," Toji sighed in defeat. "But why are we leaving now?" Shinji looked over his shoulder as he opened the door.

"I have a few things I need to take care of," Shinji plainly stated as he walked outside followed by his friend.

"Okay but you will be there when it happens, right?" Toji asked as he locked the door. He turned to see Shinji waiting at the front gate.

"I'll be there to take care of Asuka, after that you are on your own." Toji nodded. He was glad that he wouldn't have to deal with the fiery red head. Toji joined Shinji as he walked down the street into Tokyo-3. They remained silent as Toji tried to plan what he was going to say and Shinji dreaded what he was going to do when he next saw Asuka.

Asuka was fuming. She knew it was going to be a hard day when she went to Hikari's aid but she thought Shinji might have been more supportive. As it was he never returned to class after lunch, something that she was sure would spark rumours. However when an errant message arrived at her terminal, she realised that more was being speculated about than just Shinji's absence. Asuka had fired off a barrage of messages to everyone seeking answers but the class had fallen silent. Changing tactics she focused on just one and with his two friends missing Kensuke folded quickly. 

He admitted he had started the rumour by telling people about what Rei had told him. Unfortunately that was the truth but that did not stop it from it being misinterpreted and blown out of proportion. Kensuke had finally told her that the rumour was now that Shinji was sleeping with Asuka, Rei and Misato. Asuka was barely able to restrain herself from throttling him right there but had to wait till the class ended. For the next hour Asuka thought up punishment for the crimes that each of the three stooges had committed. 

When the bell had rung Asuka had chased Kensuke but she didn't make it out the door as Hikari reminded her that she was on clean up. This was something else to add to Asuka's misery and anger. It had given the girls another opportunity to talk but it didn't do anything to calm the German girl as she continually ranted on how much pain she was going to inflict. In the end Hikari had given up talking since Asuka didn't seem to be listening. Hikari walked in silence while Asuka followed, talking in a menacing whisper about what she was going to Rei for telling Kensuke about what happened.

Asuka was so involved in her own thoughts that she failed to notice Hikari stop and consequently walked straight into her back. Asuka was about to ask what was happening when she noticed her friend had barely registered the impact. Asuka peeked over her friends shoulder to see why she had stopped. Standing just inside the school gates was Toji and Shinji, both looking incredibly nervous. Hikari's surprised stare quickly dropped when her eyes met Toji's and Toji copied her, feeling the shame of his actions. The change in angle allowed Asuka to see his left cheek more clearly.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" Toji looked up and ran a hand over his bruised and sore cheek.

"Ah… Shinji kinda knocked some sense into me," Toji stammered as he looked over to his friend. Shinji who was nervous before wasn't thrilled that Toji had said that, especially since Asuka was staring wide-eyed at him.

"You mean Shinji hit you?" Asuka sceptically asked looking at both of them. They both fidgeted nervously under her gaze with Shinji trying to resist the familiar and comfortable urge to run.

"Twice actually," Toji added making her eyes widen even more. Getting over her shock, Asuka stormed up to Shinji and seized his right hand carefully inspecting the knuckles. There were sings of bruising and some swelling.

"You did say to punch him," Shinji stuttered as Asuka stared at his hand in disbelief.

"Yeah but I didn't think you would actually do it?" Asuka admitted still looking at his hand. Shinji looked up and saw Toji looking at them and Hikari looking at Toji.

"I'll tell you about it later," he hesitantly whispered to Asuka before speaking in a louder voice. "I guess we'll leave you two alone then," Shinji took Asuka's wrist and tried to drag her away but she didn't budge.

"You don't think I'm going to leave him alone with her, do you?" Asuka shouted angrily.

"He won't do anything, besides this is what she wanted, isn't it?" Asuka looked over to Hikari who nodded. Shinji then tugged at Asuka's arm again and this time she followed. However she kept her eyes on them until they were out of site. They continued to walk and Asuka noticed that Shinji hadn't let go of her wrist and wasn't heading back to the apartment.

"Where are we going?" Asuka asked softly as she slipped her hand into his.

"I don't feel like cooking so I thought I'd take you out to the ramen stall for dinner." Asuka smiled at him and was rewarded by Shinji looking at her and smiling.

"Well it's not much of a first date but it'll do," Asuka playfully commented. As she did she closed the distance between them so that their shoulders brushed together as they walked.

"Um… it's not really a date but I suppose you can think of it that way," Asuka looked over to Shinji who was blushing slightly.

"Oh so you have other plans," Asuka curiously inquired leaning forward so that she could see his face.

"Tokyo-3 Skylight Bistro at seven on Saturday, if you still want to go," Asuka smiled brightly helping Shinji to relax a bit.

"As long as you can afford it," Asuka announced as they reach the stall and took their seats.

"I'm pretty sure I can," Shinji spoke confidently, which drew Asuka's attention. They made their orders before Asuka spoke again.

"You seem to be very confident of that," Asuka probed and Shinji smiled.

"I made sure to ask about the menu and prices," Shinji leaned back to look up at the darkening sky.

"And they showed it to you," Shinji smiled at Asuka's surprise.

"Well a NERV ID and the name Ikari seemed to do wonders," Shinji looked a little depressed as he spoke so Asuka tried to change the subject.

"It still doesn't explain where you got the money to pay for this," Shinji smiled at her digging in his pocket and handing her some receipts. Asuka sorted through the crumpled papers as their meals were placed in front of them.

"Where did you get this much money?" Asuka almost shouted as she read the bank receipt in her hands and the couple became the centre of attention for the passing pedestrians.

"Allowances mostly," Shinji stuttered, taken aback by Asuka's sudden outburst. Asuka studied him and then placed the receipts next to her bowl and readied herself to eat.

"Explain the plural, why do you get more than just the pilot's allowance," Asuka started eating as Shinji stared into his food.

"Before I came here I lived with my teacher," his voice was soft, sad and a little distant. "My expenses were paid from an account and each month I got a personal allowance based on my age. I didn't have any friends so I didn't have much to spend money on. Also on my birthday I had some money paid into my account so I could buy myself a present," Shinji paused to take a bite unaware that a troubled Asuka was studying him.

"That's not so bad is it, buying your own present ensures you get what you want." Asuka's attempt to cheer him up didn't work as Shinji sighed heavily after swallowing some ramen.

"But it shows you they care if they go to the trouble of buying you something, even if it isn't something you want," Shinji sadly mused.

"So you have a lot of money because you never spent it," Asuka confirmed and Shinji nodded affirmatively.

"Apart from my SDAT and a couple of times to the arcade, I haven't spent much. I mean look at my room," Shinji's voice was almost bitter.

"That's why you bought the picture frames," Asuka added as she looked at the receipts on the table. "But did you really need three?" 

"I was going to give you one but if you don't want it…" Asuka cut him off, as his voice seemed to lose its life.

"No! I want it but we'll have to get some better photos than the ones we have," Shinji smiled as he remembered all the photos that exist of them. 

"And we both know whose fault that is," Shinji's jibe made Asuka frown until she realised it was a joke not an accusation. Asuka making Shinji look like a fool has spoilt nearly all the photos they have been in together. They both enjoyed the lighter moment and continue on with their meal.

"So why do you need cello strings, music paper and an old compilation CD?" Asuka eventually asked in reference to the last receipt. 

"My mother's song was based on an old song and that CD was the only copy I could find. I can't remember her lyrics but I don't want to forget the song. So I was going to try and transpose the music so that I could play it on my cello. At least that way I won't forget," Asuka carefully considered Shinji. His dark behaviour when talking about his past had lifted but he still sounded melancholic. 

"Can't you just take the lyrics from the song?" Asuka asked innocently but Shinji shook his head with a rueful smile.

"My mother had her own lyrics that were different from the ones in the original," Shinji answered as he finished his ramen. He paid for the meals and waited for Asuka who hurriedly finished her bowl before the two of they left for home. They both moved to hold hands at the same time and grinned at the ease at which they made contact. Again they walked with their shoulders in closed proximity enjoying the extra contact. As they walked Asuka's warm smile turned into a teasing grin, a sight that wiped the smile off Shinji's face.

"This was a nice night Shinji and because of that I'll let you off the hook," Asuka's grin widened as Shinji tried to figure out what he'd done.

"Ah... Asuka, what hook?" Shinji dreaded having to ask but his mind was drawing a blank.

"I'll let you off for leaving school early because I did ask you to talk to Toji. Of course I didn't mean you should leave school early to do it but hitting him more than makes up for it. Also since you were so concerned about letting people know of our relationship I won't blame you for the rumours." Shinji nodded but then had to think about the last comment.

"What rumours and why are they my fault?" Shinji stopped as Asuka moved so she was standing in front of him.

"It's your fault because you let Rei talk to Kensuke and she told him what Misato told her about us sleeping together after the dance. Now the school thinks you are sleeping with me, Rei and Misato," Shinji gulped.

"And by the time we have synch tests on Wednesday the whole of NERV will probably know," Shinji was starting to worry but Asuka wasn't concerned.

"And then you'll just have to tell everybody that you are dating me and not that doll and definitely not your guardian. That way everyone will know the truth," Asuka started walking again but had to prompt Shinji to follow.

"I guess I'll just have to get used to all the attention," Shinji uncertainly announced after Asuka prodded him in the ribs.

"You should have known, considering you are going out with the prettiest girl in Tokyo-3," Asuka batted her eyelids and smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, I probably should have," Shinji distractedly replied.

"You don't sound too confident," Asuka pouted.

"Sorry," Shinji responded without thinking and he received a frown from Asuka. "I guess I am humbled by your modesty," Shinji relaxes as his comment causes Asuka's warm smile to return. Asuka quickly moves closer, resting her head on his shoulder and stretching and arm around his back. Shinji responds by wrapping his arm around her waist sparking memories of their walk home after the dance.

"Shinji, you won't ever do something like Toji, will you?" Asuka timidly asks at their home looms up ahead of them.

"I won't, I mean, if I did I doubt an Eva would be able to restrain you from trying to kill me," Shinji becomes worried when Asuka pauses before answering.

"So you wouldn't do it because you are afraid of me," Asuka's serious voice disturbs Shinji so he replies equally seriously. 

"I know what it's like to be hurt by someone who you care about and I would never hurt you because I do care about you." There is silence between them as they make their way to the elevator but a tightening of their embrace is enough until they reach the front door.

"So are you going to protect me from being hurt?" Asuka demanded taking up a position in the doorway. From where she stood blocking Shinji's entrance, she carefully examined Shinji's face as he answered.

"I will protect you with my life from man, angel, god or even Eva if I have to." He smiled and his voice held a hint of mirth but Asuka found the intensity and sincerity of his eyes captivating.

"Although I don't need protection, I would expect nothing less from my boyfriend," Asuka leaned forward until her face was inches from Shinji's and she was surprised he made no effort to lean back. "And now for you welcome home kiss," Shinji was expecting Asuka to move forward and kiss him. Instead she leaned back taking a firm grip on his shirt and dragged him inside. As they moved their mouths crashed together in an awkward kiss that only became comfortable after Asuka had collided with a wall. Shinji held her against the wall and they kissed passionately until Asuka pushed Shinji further into the apartment. She closed the door before racing after him. The closed door shielded the apartment and its occupants from the noise of screeching tyres that heralded Misato's return home.

**Additional notes:** There are things in this story that I know people probably don't like, Misato's reaction in chapter 2 is one. All I can say is that most things will be explained as the story continues but some may not, like what happened between Toji and Hikari. So if you don't like it flame me but I hope to have everything covered by the end. As a bit of a teaser, Misato's reaction will be mentioned next chapter and it will also involve the NERV staff, commanders included.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** No one has offered to buy Evangelion for me so I still don't own Evangelion but that's no surprise.

**Author's Notes:** Well I haven't completely lost interest although I did for a while there. As mentioned, this has a little more explanation on what the characters are thinking. However I don't expect to please everyone or anyone for that matter.

**Shinji's Lullaby**

**Chapter 4**

A long low note began and then shifted into a well rehearsed scale. The notes were smooth and perfect in tone as Shinji's fingers moved along the stings forcing the notes to a higher pitch. The four new stings seemed to resonate with greater harmony than his discarded old ones. The shape of the room also helped since he sat at the epicentre as if he was standing in the focal point of an amphitheatre. 

It was a lounge and relaxation room that was frequented by the bridge crew but rarely by anyone else. The room would have been square if the two bathrooms on either side hadn't been there, their addition made the room into a T shape. At the moment he sat in the narrow section between the two bathrooms where seats lined the walls. In the centre were some coffee tables and on the wall opposite him were lined a various array of vending machines. To the sides of the machines were the exits and the entrances to the bathrooms, all of which were out of Shinji's view. 

He let the notes fade away as his removed the bow from the strings and let his fingers relax.

"Freak," he murmured to himself as an old memory resurfaced.

"I'll say," Shinji nearly dropped his cello as the louder voice echoed through the room. He looked up to see Lt Aoba and Lt Ibuki standing in front of him.

"Don't say that," Maya spoke in a hushed but annoyed voice as she poked Shigeru in the back.

"But he said it," he innocently pleaded as he pointed at Shinji.

"You didn't have to agree with him," Maya continued as Shigeru sat down.

"Actually I am a bit of a freak," he meekly pointed out to Maya.

"Just because you pilot an Eva doesn't make you a freak," Maya stated firmly trying to boost his confidence.

"Umm… Lt Ibuki… I was referring to my cello, not piloting," Maya looked confused but Shigeru seemed to understand.

"Why are you a freak? I mean you weren't playing anything that extraordinary," Maya cautiously asked knowing Shinji suffered from a fragile psyche.

"He tuned the cello without a tuning fork or another instrument to use as a comparison. He basically just tuned the cello by ear and did it perfectly," Shigeru elaborated for Shinji.

"I just said I was a freak because that's what my teacher called me when he saw me do it for the first time. I was only eight so I didn't really understand at the time." Shinji missed Shigeru's wide-eyed stare as he leaned forward to arrange the music papers in front of him.

"What do you have there?" Maya asked as she sat down opposite Shigeru. He also leaned forward to look at the music Shinji had written.

"Your own work?" Shigeru asked as he began to play out the notes in his mind.

"No, I'm just trying to write down an old song so that I can play it," Shinji stated hesitating in front of his audience. As far back as he can remember the only person he willingly played for was his teacher.

"So are you going to play?" Maya asked hopefully as Shinji sat fidgeting with his cello.

"Okay… but it won't very good. I haven't practiced this piece and I'm not very good so…" Shinji rambled before he was cut off.

"Why don't you just play and let us decide?" Maya's reassuring stopped Shinji and made him increasingly anxious since he couldn't really say no. He tentatively placed his bow against the stings and looked down at the music. Thankfully the cello didn't make any unnatural noises but by the time he had done five bars he could tell his notes were wrong. He stopped and frowned at his notes, trying not to glance up at the two people watching him.

"Why did you stop?" Maya asked. She knew nothing about music but the song had sounded wrong even though Shinji seemed to play perfectly well.

"My notes are wrong," Shinji stated still trying to see the error he had made.

"What song were you trying to play?" Shigeru asked as he leaned over Shinji's shoulder to see if the title was on his notes.

"Here," Shinji offered as he pulled out his SDAT from his bag. He handed the ear buds to Shigeru who placed them in his ears. Shinji selected the track, which he had transferred from the CD and hit play. Shigeru's face lit up with instant recognition. 

"I know this song," he beamed as he took some of the blank music paper and started scrawling notes on it. Shinji and Maya just watched as he filled up bar after bar with notes.

"Looks like he can play more than just air guitar," Makoto mused as he sat next to Shigeru. Shinji felt a little more anxious with three people he barely knew grouped around him.

"Shinji do you mind if I ask you something?" Maya's timid voice seemed to intrigue Makoto who watched her carefully. Shinji paused a little before he nodded yes.

"Umm… well… it's kind of personal and I don't want to pry but…" Maya struggled to find an easy way to ask her question but Makoto beat her to it, although with not as much subtlety as she wanted.

"She wants to know it the rumours of you sleeping with Asuka are true?" he blurted out. Maya and Shinji blushed heavily but Makoto seemed unfazed by the matter. In truth he had already asked Misato himself so he knew a little about what was going on. Shigeru continued writing but listened to the conversation through the noise of the SDAT.

"Well… I suppose it's kind of true… in a literal sense," Shinji hastily added the last part as the shocked looks began to appear. They still looked a little astonished but that was due to the fact that it confirmed there was a relationship between the Second and Third Children. 

"So you are just dating then," Maya asked and Shinji confirmed with a nod of his head. They slipped into silence with Maya studying some reports, Makoto sipping his hot coffee that he procured from a vending machine and Shigeru still transcribing the music. Shinji studied his old notes trying to see where he went wrong but finally gave up as Shigeru stopped the SDAT.

"Here have a look at these," Shigeru passed Shinji several pages of notes. They were scratchy and full of corrections, which contrasted greatly with Shinji's careful and precise notation.

"Ah… Lt Aoba this is written for a guitar," Shinji pointed out, much to Makoto's amusement.

"Good work Shigeru, if you haven't noticed, he plays the cello," Makoto remarked but Shigeru just scowled at him.

"I know he plays the cello but I don't know how to write music for the cello. Besides I used to play this song with my band back in high school so I know that this is the right music. Shinji just has to convert it for a cello," Shigeru voice was restrained as he defended his notes.

"Whatever but it looks like our break time is up so we better go. See you later Shinji," Makoto collected his trash and started to walk out.

"Good luck with it Shinji, it shouldn't be too hard to change," Shigeru encouraged as he followed Makoto.

"You should play it for us when you are done. Bye Shinji," Maya spoke over her shoulder as she exited behind her two counterparts.

"I'll see you all later," Shinji called after them as they left. When they were gone he turned his attention back to the music in his hands. He was trying to understand how he could perform it with a cello but so far was drawing a blank. Trying to clear his mind, he dropped the notes onto the table alongside his old notes. As he looked over both of them he could see the similarities and where his notes deviated from Shigeru's. With that in mind he started editing his notes to compliment Shigeru's and as he hummed the tune, he could tell he was getting closer.

Shinji looked over the vending machines trying to decide what exactly he wanted. He didn't want something with a lot of caffeine and that was severely limiting his choices. He had spent a lot of time fixing the mistakes in his notes and then he had made some tentative attempts at playing the music. So far he was closer but still had to make some adjustments to them and master a few tricky changes in the notes. He only knew a few songs he enjoyed playing and hadn't really endeavoured to write his own music. However he found that he was enjoying his music for the first time in a long while. 

"Let me get that for you," Shinji stopped as a hand reached over his shoulder to deposit some money in the machine. Shinji made his selection and took it from the machine and stepped aside so that Kaji could claim his change. Kaji moved to the next machine and selected a drink for himself as Shinji took his first mouthful. Shinji eyed the unshaven man as he took a drink of his coffee before he started to return to his seat.

"If you are looking for Lt Ibuki she left twenty minutes ago," Shinji called over his shoulder unaware Kaji was following right behind him.

"What makes you think I was looking for Maya?" Kaji asked a mildly surprised Shinji who hadn't expected him to be that close.

"Well Misato says the only thing you seem to do here is chase the female techs," Shinji stated as he settled back into his seat and Kaji sat down to his right.

"Is that what you think I do?" Kaji chuckled and drank some more of his coffee.

"I haven't seen you do anything and no one has ever told me what you do here," Shinji quietly replied. It was strange that he'd been waiting here expecting and wanting him to show up but now he was here he didn't know how to bring up what he wanted to talk about.

"Let's just say that I only chase women in my free time." Kaji sipped his coffee hoping Shinji wouldn't ask for more than he could answer. Shinji just stayed silent not knowing how to start a conversation, especially on the topic he wanted to talk about.

"So why are you still here? I thought the synch tests ended a while ago," Kaji innocently asked.

"Misato wanted to take us home herself so she told me to wait here while she and Ritsuko talked with Asuka and Rei." Shinji took a long drink from his can and Kaji waited till he finished before continuing.

"So the girls having a private meeting," he mused as he rubbed his stubble. "You wouldn't happen to know what they are talking about?" Kaji watched Shinji fidgeting nervously under his gaze and a faint blush beginning to appear on his face.

"Sex," Shinji said in a barely audible voice but Kaji continued talking at his normal volume.

"Considering the recent change in your relationship with Asuka that is probably a prudent thing to do but I'm surprised they didn't include you in their little discussion." Kaji watched as Shinji made a lot of little sips from his drink hoping that the can would somehow hide his face.

"Misato wanted to talk to me separately," Shinji admitted in a slightly stronger whisper.

"I thought Misato might have been more accommodating and asked me to talk to you. I mean it would be far more comfortable for you to talk to a guy rather than a woman." Kaji finished his drink and leaned back placing his feet on the coffee table.

"I asked if she could but she said you would be more likely to teach me about seducing woman than a man's responsibility." Kaji laughed as he imagined himself trying to give a shy Shinji lessons in how to pick up women.

"You could have said 'I have already seduced Asuka, why do I need lessons?'" Kaji chuckled as Shinji turned bright red. 

"It wasn't like that. We slept in the same bed but we only kissed, nothing else." Kaji looked at the flustered boy with a grin.

"I didn't know you slept together," Kaji declared as the still blushing Shinji shrunk back into his seat. As the silence dragged out Kaji began to rue his comments. Shinji looked to be totally focused on avoiding any other conversation as his red face slowly faded. Kaji felt it might have been better if he left but from the corner of his eye he could see Shinji glancing at him when he thought he wasn't being watched.

"I can understand Misato and Asuka but how did Rei and Ritsuko get involved in this?" Kaji saw Shinji jump at the sound of his voice. There was a pause before Shinji hesitantly spoke.

"On Sunday Rei asked Misato and Misato told her to ask Ritsuko. So Ritsuko decided to talk to both Asuka and Rei and dragged Misato along because it was her fault." Kaji light heartedly laughed as Shinji recounted the situation as he saw it.

"That sounds like something those two would do," Kaji spoke with a hint of nostalgia. "Anyway getting on to more interesting matters, how are you and Asuka doing?" Kaji tried to sound like his normal casual self but he was very interested in what had happened between them.

"Okay, I guess," Shinji shrugged but Kaji raised an eyebrow in question. Shinji dropped his gaze, deciding to rearrange the music paper on the desk.

"You do know you're a terrible liar?" Kaji spoke seriously making Shinji stop what he was doing. "You don't have to talk about it but it might help to get a different perspective on things." Kaji inwardly cringed as he listened to himself sound like a psychiatrist, although Shinji didn't seem to notice.

"It's not really a problem, more of a hurdle I guess," Shinji muttered trying to meet Kaji's gaze but finding he couldn't hold it for long.

"So do you want to tell me about it?" Kaji spoke after a short silence. It was a comment made for prompting Shinji since he seemed to be internally deliberating that very question. 

"It just something I said I was okay with but now I'm not so sure," Shinji paused and Kaji remained silent until Shinji spoke again. "I asked her what she would choose, our relationship or piloting Eva. She said she couldn't give piloting up yet, that she would need more time. I said it was okay but now I'm not so sure," Shinji's voice trailed off, mimicking his words.

"So what's changed?" Kaji wasn't at all surprised by what he was hearing but could see a lot of reasons for Shinji's uncertainty. 

"I beat her in the synch tests," Shinji stared at his hands that were lying in his lap. "We both improved but my improvement moved me from just below to just above Asuka. When we walked back to the locker room she didn't say anything. She wasn't mad, just lost in her own thoughts," Shinji looked up to see Kaji avidly listening to him.

"It doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I mean she could just be starting to believe that she doesn't need Eva." Even though Kaji severely doubts his own words, he could see Shinji seriously consider them.

"I doubt it. Asuka isn't going to change her mind just because she was beaten. In fact it is more likely for her to try and prove she is superior to me." Shinji tilted his head back so he was looking up at the ceiling.

"Do you think that is going to be a problem?" Kaji asks and Shinji's brow furrows.

"I don't know. I really don't care about my synch ratio but I try because it is what everyone expects me to do. Asuka cares about her score and being the best but I'm not sure if that is going to get in our way. I don't know how she is going to react," Shinji takes his and Kaji's empty drinks and dumps them into the recycling bin.

"You know it might be a good idea to talk to Misato about this," Kaji suggested as Shinji passed him on the way back to his seat.

"I probably would have under normal circumstances but at the moment things with Misato aren't exactly… normal." Shinji sat back down and his shoulders slumped as he leaned forward in his chair. He stared at the music on the table but doubted that playing it would lift his spirits at the moment.

"Would this have anything to do with you skipping school two days ago so you could punch your friend on his front door step? Or maybe you are having trouble pleasing both women? I mean I had trouble just pleasing Misato and I don't think Asuka would be any easier on her own." Shinji looked down in shame as Kaji brought up the incident with Toji but he sat bolt upright blushing when he heard Kaji's second question.

"What! No it's nothing like that," Shinji stammered, as Kaji remained perfectly calm.

"You should try to relax a little Shinji, it was just a joke," Kaji let Shinji take a couple of deep breaths. "So are you going to tell me why you punched your best friend?" Kaji after Shinji had calmed down a little.

"Oh that… well he did something stupid on a date with Asuka's friend so they asked me to go and talk to him." Shinji mumbled out his answer as he looked down at the floor.

"So you went over there and defended her honour by hitting your friend or did Asuka tell you to hit him as well?" Kaji could tell by the way Shinji was squirming that his assumption was probably correct.

"She only suggested it," Shinji quietly replied never lifting his gaze. "I'm not good with conflict and I didn't know what to do. So I just acted like I thought Asuka would want me to. Everybody always tells me to stand up for myself and be more assertive, I though Asuka might appreciate me more if I acted like she wanted me to." Shinji finally looked up at Kaji to see the normally jovial man was not smiling.

"You know you should act differently for you own reasons. If you start acting the way other people expect you to act then you might lose a little piece of yourself. You become someone else and when you look at your life later you might find you have become someone you didn't want to be. If that's the case then you may resent the people you changed for or yourself," Kaji was surprised at how seriously he was taking this conversation.

"I don't like how I am anyway so why would I resent someone who helped me become a better person," Shinji forlornly added.

"It's not a simple thing but think of it this way. What you did to help Asuka's friend was the right thing to do. Why you did it was possibly wrong. Anyone can do the right thing but it means nothing unless you are doing it for the right reasons. Do you understand?" Shinji looked blankly back at Kaji and the slowly nodded.

"I think so," Shinji turned away to carefully considered what had been said.

"You don't get it, do you?" Kaji asked as he studied Shinji's bewildered face.

"Not really, sorry," Shinji states as he slowly shakes his head.

"That's okay, maybe if I give you another example," Shinji returns his attention to Kaji as he tries to think of an example. "Okay, I'm talking to you because you need someone to talk to. I am doing that for no other reason than I'm your friend. I get nothing else out of this other than helping my friend. Do you see?" Shinji hesitates before nodding.

"I think I do but it's still hard to see what is the right motivation for doing something," Kaji nods in agreement.

"It is but that is something you can't plan for, especially in your situation where you have to pilot an Eva. It's something you have to learn from experience and that is something you'll acquire, as you get older. So now that we have dealt with that, how about you tell me why you can't talk to Misato about this," Shinji tensed up at the mention of Misato. 

"It's a long story and I don't know if should really talk about it with you," Shinji admitted but it only added to Kaji's interest.

"Like you said before, all I do is chase women around this base and since there are no women here at the moment I have all the time in the world." Kaji was glad that he sounded a little more like himself but it still wasn't helping Shinji to relax.

"I want to talk to you about it, it's just I don't think Misato will appreciate me asking you about her." Shinji glanced at Kaji who was nodding his understanding.

"I take it that there is more to this that just what happened between you and your friend?" Kaji tried to keep his voice as casual as possible hoping that it would help Shinji relax.

"That's part of it," Shinji sighed tiredly before continuing. "It was because of that that my father called Misato to his office. He wanted to know if the change in my behavior would effect my ability to pilot. I don't think he even bothered to ask about Asuka and myself," Shinji spoke despondently slumping back in his seat.

"Somehow that doesn't seem to surprise me," Kaji added but Shinji barely seemed to notice the comment.

"That's why today's synch tests were important. We had to prove that our relationship wouldn't affect our piloting. It was also the reason that Misato decided to come home early and find out what was going on. Her arrival wasn't exactly… well timed," Shinji was becoming increasingly nervous as Kaji watch him with a sly grin.

"I take it Misato didn't find you in the best of situations," Kaji had a few other comments he could have used but he doubted that Shinji would have appreciated them.

"Sort of but it was more of an accident. We had been out during the evening and had a good time and when we got home Asuka started acting… How can I put it… aggressive," Shinji was made sure he avoided Kaji's gaze.

"I can see how someone like Asuka could overwhelm you," Kaji watched Shinji intently. Shinji was aware he was being watched and it was only adding to his discomfort.

"It was a bit unsettling especially when she tore my shirt off but that's when I tried to defend myself. It was okay at first, I think Asuka liked the extra challenge of me resisting. It turned into a playful wrestle and we were both having fun but then Asuka got frustrated because I wasn't conceding to her," Shinji paused trying to clear his dry throat.

"Asuka isn't known for her patience but I thought you of all people would be able to recognise when she was about to lose her temper." Shinji smiled weakly but still wouldn't meet Kaji's gaze.

"I guess I got caught up in the moment and the fact that I was matching Asuka. It was an intoxicating feeling, I was just happy for the short time it lasted and I thought she was too." Shinji's voice was distant and he had a faint wisp of a blissful smile on his lips.

"I think I know the feeling," Kaji commented as he noticed the smile fading away.

"Anyway, Asuka's impatience got the better of her and she started taking the wrestle seriously. Before I knew what was happening Asuka had pulled my t-shirt over my face and used it to pin my arms above my head. She was standing behind me, I was at her mercy and she decided that my punishment was to be tickled." Shinji finally looked at Kaji as the man began to laugh.

"A very effective form of punishment against someone, especially a lover," Kaji stated as he scratched his unshaven jaw. Shinji decide that whatever Kaji was thinking about he didn't want to know about so he continued his story.

"Asuka tickled me and the first thing that I did was to try to escape her touch. Of course as I tried to move away, Asuka yanked me back but instead of stepping back, I fell back. In the process I also dragged Asuka down on top of me and that was when Misato walked in," Kaji nodded as he imagined the scene.

"I assume that the lovely Major wasn't impressed to find Asuka lying on top of you, especially with you being half naked." Kaji noticed Shinji blushing again and he had also dropped his gaze back to the floor.

"It wasn't just that. Not only did my t-shirt being over my face save me from seeing Misato's angry face but it saved me from Asuka as well. When she fell my head… kind of ended… under her skirt," Shinji's voice had fallen below a whisper and Kaji was only just able to hear what he said. The image that immediately sprung to Kaji's mind made him burst out laughing. It was something that only added to Shinji's awkwardness at having to explain the situation. Shinji decided that he needed another drink and left Kaji to calm himself down. When he returned Kaji had settled back and was smiling back at the boy.

"I'm sorry about that but I just imagined what Misato's face would have been and I couldn't help myself," Kaji chuckled again as the image re-entered his thoughts.

"It's okay I guess," Shinji mumbled into his drink as he sat down.

"So what did Misato do after the initial shock wore off?" Kaji asked resuming his serious tone.

"Well she sent us to our rooms and then left us for an hour or so before she decided to speak to us individually. It was more like an interrogation than a discussion and after it we went to bed. In the morning Misato woke up early and had coffee rather than a beer like she normally does. Nothing much was said, Asuka and I were just waiting till we left for school so we could be alone and talk about what was going on. That was when Rei arrived," Shinji took another sip of his drink to moisten his dry mouth and Kaji took this time to interject.

"It is certainly a strange day when Misato starts a day without a beer. I take it that Misato was the one who invited Rei over," Kaji watch Shinji nod his affirmation. 

"Misato ordered Rei to make sure that we were not left alone together. Asuka wasn't happy but Misato told her that my father had given instructions that at least until the next synch test we were to be carefully watched. Misato had objected but after what had happened the night before she had changed her mind." Shinji sighed heavily, finishing of his drink while Kaji silently contemplated the new information.

"Things didn't really improve when Rei decide the best way to make sure Asuka and I were never left alone was to follow one of us around during our free time. I didn't mind Rei being around, I mean she seemed to participate a little in the conversations I had with my friends. Of course Asuka wasn't pleased about it and that wasn't helped by the fact that the rumours at school started making wild guesses as to what was going on." Shinji idly toyed with the can as Kaji watched him.

"So this is why you wanted to talk to me, you wanted help with Misato," Kaji surmised.

"Misato said she was happy we were together and that she would defend us against my father. She tried to make us think that she helped bring us together and now she won't let us be alone. I'm not used to dealing with people and I'm spending most of my time and energy trying to keep Asuka happy. I can't figure out why Misato is being so intrusive and I was wondering if you might be able to help me understand." Shinji looked hopefully over to Kaji but Kaji had his head back and was staring blankly up to the ceiling. Shinji waited for a moment or two before he stood up to discard his empty drink can.

"Do you know how Misato and I met?" Kaji asked in an unusually sombre voice.

"You said that you met at college," Shinji offered as he slowly sat back down.

"But do you know the details of how we met?" Kaji looked straight at Shinji and Shinji shook his head. Kaji just observed the boy for a few seconds and then returned to looking at the ceiling. The silence continued for a little while and the whole time Shinji watched Kaji expectantly.

"We used to call them three day parties. You'd go straight to the party after classes on Friday and there would be an almost limitless supply of alcohol. Everybody drank until they threw up and then drank some more. It was the kind of thing that was expected of college students and nobody wanted to disappoint. You drank until you passed out or dawn, which ever came first. Then you spent the next day sleeping it off and the third day recovering. That was a three day party, a day to drink yourself stupid, sleep the second day away and then drag yourself out of bed on the third swearing you won't ever drink again. A promise that only lasted till the next party." Kaji had a nostalgic tone to his voice and he was smiling in a way Shinji hadn't seen before on his face.

"So you met Misato at one of these parties?" Shinji asked, as Kaji appeared to get lost in his own memories.

"Yeah, most women didn't go to these parties unless they were with their boyfriends but you know as well as I do that Misato isn't like most women. She had already outlasted a couple of guys and she seemed to be more interested in her drinking than the people around her. When I started talking to her I think she was just happy for the company even though she wasn't particularly impressed by my charms. Anyway both our memories are a bit sketchy but after my day of rest I woke up in my room with Misato next to me. We barely left that room for the next week but you know all about that." Kaji looked at Shinji and Shinji looked away slightly embarrassed at the memory of that conversation.

"What does this have to do with Asuka and me?" Shinji queried once he had summoned the courage to meet the man's gaze.

"Our relationship was basically a physical one, it was fun but we didn't try to bring any depth to it. When we saw problems starting to develop we didn't try to resolve them and it drove us apart. Misato seems to be worried that you two are going to make the same mistakes we did. Considering your backgrounds, it's not hard to see that if things go wrong you both could suffer a lot. Misato is your guardian and it is her responsibility to make sure you are capable of piloting," Kaji was cut off by Shinji.

"But I don't care about piloting," Shinji vehemently stated.

"But you are still needed to pilot," Kaji added in an equally strong voice. "You may not want to but you need to because there is no one else that can take your place. It may seem cold but that is the reality of your life and Asuka's as well if she ever decides that piloting isn't her first priority. Misato isn't just doing this to stop you being happy but she is trying to make sure you survive. A stable relationship with Asuka will help no end and Misato is trying to make sure you don't make a big mistake. Do you understand?" Shinji just sits motionless absorbing what Kaji had just said.

"I can see how she might be trying to help but she isn't helping. She's not showing any trust in us and thinks that we'll just sleep together if we're left alone," Shinji sinks back into his chair miserably.

"If that's what Asuka wanted, could you resist her?" Kaji watched Shinji closely as he carefully considered it.

"She wouldn't because it could affect her piloting," Shinji simple stated not looking up.

"And what if she changed her priorities?" Kaji's question brought a strange smile to Shinji's face.

"In that case, why would I want to resist?" Shinji spoke in a peaceful voice. "When I'm close to her it's… the feeling is different, unlike anything I've felt. It's hard to describe but it's like being held by my mother, except it reaches much deeper. A mother makes you feel safe and secure but with Asuka I feel that I am also protecting her. There is a peace of mind that extends into my whole being. When we are together, I don't feel alone." Kaji stares at the serene looking Shinji.

"So you'd really be willing to let the angels destroy the world just so you could be with Asuka?" Kaji thought it was a rhetorical question but Shinji answered it anyway.

"It won't come to that. I doubt Asuka will give up piloting until there are no more angels," Shinji voice is plain, devoid of any strong emotion.

"That's a little pessimistic isn't it?" Kaji's voice shows his disbelief in what Shinji has said.

"Maybe but that is how my life is, everything I care for will be taken away from me. I said I could wait for her but I knew I might have to wait till there were no more angels." Shinji gave a weak smiled as he stood and walked toward the trashcan.

"What if there is no end to the angels?" Kaji asks as Shinji walks back.

"Now who is being pessimistic," Shinji replied trying to be light hearted. Kaji chuckled a little but it did little to lift Shinji's spirits.

"It is a little but just promise me one thing Shinji," Kaji waited until he had Shinji's undivided attention. "You seem to be a little fatalistic about your chances. Don't give up, especially on Asuka. She may act strong but she isn't as strong as she appears. You shouldn't act as if you don't have an effect on her," Shinji is a little taken aback.

"Sorry," Shinji responds apologetically. "I don't quite know how to act around Asuka at the moment," Kaji smiled in an attempt to reassure him.

"Don't worry about it, I just wanted to make sure you don't think that no matter what you do you will not change Asuka's mind. If you don't try it may never happen," Shinji nodded in understanding but still couldn't banish his doubts completely. A shadow over the music papers on the table told Shinji that Kaji was leaning over them.

"Can I ask you to play this song for me? I can't read the music and I'd like to hear what you're working on," Kaji leaned back away from the table.

"I haven't really practiced it and the music isn't quite right," Shinji rambled, trying to avoid playing in front of a new audience.

"That doesn't matter, I don't have a good ear for music so I probably won't notice," Kaji smiled as Shinji relented and picked up his cello.

"This probably won't be any good," Shinji grumbled as he readied himself.

"Let me decide, you just have to play," Kaji's declaration ended Shinji's resistance. He took a deep breath and wished he could close his eyes to play but he didn't know the music well enough yet. He started out a little shakily but as the music progressed he slipped into the melody with only a few wavering notes on a few of the more difficult transitions. As the music faded Shinji allowed himself to relax a little, aided by the soft clapping coming from Kaji.

"Very nice, it's a nice song that I remember listening to when I was young," Kaji continued to smile as Shinji humbly bowed.

"Thank you, it wasn't that good but I think I know where the wrong notes are," Shinji meekly replied as he looked over at Kaji.

"If that wasn't very good then I expect a perfect rendition the next time I see you near a cello," Kaji stood up and tucked his hands in his pockets. "Well I guess it's time for me to get back to chasing those female techs," Kaji announced over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Ah Kaji, shouldn't you be getting back to work?" Shinji's question made Kaji stop and look back over his shoulder. He rubbed his chin as he contemplated Shinji's query.

"Maybe later," Kaji smiled as he continued his exit. "I'll see you later," Kaji waved but didn't turn back as he left Shinji sight. Shinji shook his head and moved his cello to one side. He found the right places in his music and erased the offending notation before he replaced it with the corrected version. As he gazed over the completed work he felt a strange sense of accomplishment. With the music done all Shinji had to do was practice playing it. He picked up his cello and let the notes flow, feeling infinitely more comfortable now that he was alone.

Asuka stood staring into a mirror. After she had been dismissed from her lecture, Misato had told her to go find Shinji and wait for her to return from a meeting with Commander Ikari. Asuka instead had sought the solitude of a bathroom so that she could sort out a few things. Luckily Rei had been given permission to leave so she was not around to annoy her. Asuka splashed some more water on her face, letting the shock of the sudden cold help focus her mind. She needed to decide what she was going to do before she found Shinji.

She was angry and she had plenty of reason to be. Misato's insistence on a constant presence when she was with Shinji was just the start. The fact that Rei was the one designated with that task only incensed the red head more, especially since she followed Shinji around. Then there was the lecture that she had to endure. Ritsuko spoke in a purely clinical manner, which even Misato occasionally misunderstood. Misato's eyes would glaze over whenever she started to think about her past experiences and it drew the ire of Ritsuko. Rei was more attentive than Asuka had ever seen her and had an almost limitless amount of questions that the two older women were obligated to answer.

However the thing that outweighed all these combined was the fact that she had been beaten in the synch tests. For that Asuka wished to yell and scream at the top of her lungs but to do that she would have to direct all her rage at Shinji. That was why she had sought refuge in here away from all distractions. Asuka's mind was racing with reasons why she should berate Shinji for his achievement of surpassing her but it also registered Shinji's face as he tried to talk to her on the way to the locker room. His face was cautious and concerned but he couldn't hide the fear in his eyes and that told her he knew exactly what the implications might be.

This was where her heart began to battle with her mind. It told her she should be happy, not angry. He had bettered her score and as such she should praise not chastise him. He hadn't bragged or tried to rub the result in, he was only concerned about what would happen between them. That was the essence of Shinji, though he didn't care about piloting. Unfortunately Asuka did and she still felt that it was more important to her than Shinji. A faint wisp of a tear glistened in Asuka's eye as all the hate her mind wanted to direct at Shinji now came to focus on her.

She couldn't accept Shinji over piloting and she hated herself for it. The fact that Shinji could devote himself to someone who had only last week made his life a living hell and give up piloting, even at the risk of handing the angels a walkover victory. Shinji would do all that for a girl who couldn't bring herself to do the same. Her sole purpose in life was piloting her Eva for the praise of all those that witness her and that hadn't changed. Shinji had only made life away from Eva a little easier and she hated herself for that. 

The lone tear that threatened to fall was washed away as Asuka again splashed water onto her face. She wiped away the excess water and dried her face. She made sure that her hair looked right and then tried to smile as if Shinji was there with her. It looked fake, it felt hollow and that only adding to her anguish. She wanted to vent her anger but she didn't want to destroy what she had with Shinji. That was something she felt could redeem her and she couldn't lose it to anything, not Eva and especially not her own overblown pride.

Asuka marched out of the bathroom and headed to where she knew Shinji would be. She didn't need to hide her anger. She only needed make sure that it was directed at Misato and Rei for dragging her into that pointless lecture. As long as Shinji didn't ask and the topic didn't come up, she didn't need to let him know she was angry with him for beating her. She had plenty of other reasons that she was angry and she could focus her anger on those rather than on Shinji.

A sly smile crept on her face as she walked towards the lounge as felt that she could achieve her aims. She stopped in her tracks when she began to her the soft melodic sound of a cello drifting through the corridors. Asuka continued towards the music with her anger pushed to the back of her mind. She knew that Shinji had brought his cello but she doubted that he could transpose the music and play it perfectly in only a few days. Entering the lounge Asuka was able to fully appreciate the music and Shinji's playing without the hindrance of a wall being in the way.

Shinji seemed at peace as the music flowed from his cello and Asuka could only stand and watch. Shinji's face was expressionless but all his emotions appeared to be surfacing in the music he played. Asuka was unable to move from where she stood as she marvelled at how perfectly the sense of tranquillity of the song was being expressed. Asuka waited till the song came to its conclusion before she walked forward to Shinji. After only a few moments of silence Shinji began again, startling Asuka as she moved closer to him. 

"Don't stop," she whispered into his ear as she sat down next to him. Shinji stumbled over a couple of notes before settling back into his rhythm. He wanted to look over his shoulder but he felt Asuka's arms come to rest on his back. Asuka folded her arms across the back of his shoulders and rested her head on them as well as tucking her legs up beneath herself. Asuka's breath tickled the back of Shinji's neck, the sensation slightly hampering his concentration. The distraction only hindered him momentarily as he relaxed back to his previous state of being, which is only heightened by the fact Asuka was leaning against him.

"Again," Asuka whispered as Shinji finished the song again. Shinji only waited a few seconds before complying with her request. Shinji felt comfortable until he again heard Asuka's voice in his ear. This time it was in tune with the music and holding the melody where the lyrics would normally have been. Asuka had her eyes closed and a smile on her lips after she had felt a jolt go through Shinji's body when he heard her voice. She was only holding the tune and on the odd occasion she would sound out a word that she could remember from the lyrics.

"Louder," Shinji's voice made Asuka open her eyes and look at his face. The expressionless face of before was gone and a contented smile was the most endearing feature that encouraged Asuka to increase her volume. Asuka replaced her head on her arms and her eyes closed as her voice mingled with the music from Shinji's cello. As the song came to an end Shinji didn't hesitate in starting again. As Asuka waited for the song to reach the point where she began, she settled into a more comfortable position by wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his back.

The two children were so engrossed in the experience they failed to notice three people watching them. Ritsuko was confused as to what exactly was going on. She had been following the commanders as they headed through central dogma when they heard the music. She hadn't been too surprised considering she had been told about it by Maya when they had passed by earlier. However once the commanders were able to distinguish the song they had paused and shown that they recognised it. Then, led by Commander Ikari, they changed course in search of the source of the song. When they had entered the lounge Ritsuko was surprised to hear a female voice mixing with the cello.

Ritsuko thought that the scene was touching and even she had to appreciate it. She didn't quite understand what was happening so she looked over to the two commanders. Commander Ikari looked surprised at first and then it had slipped to something akin to desolation. It quickly turned to a look of disgust as he turned on his heels and walked out. The changes in his expression had been subtle to the point where Ritsuko only recognised them due to the amount of time she had spent around him. Ritsuko turned to Commander Fuyutsuki whose face was the complete opposite. His normally stoic face had softened and the smile upon his lips was similar to the ones worn by both of the children.

With nothing more of interest to her, Ritsuko decided to follow after Commander Ikari and quickly walked out the way she came in. Fuyutsuki gave her exit a cursory glance before turning his attention back to the children. He watched them for a few more moments and smiled with slight amusement when Asuka's voice sounded out word from Yui's lyrics. He sat down next to the table where Shinji's music lay and took a page, turning it over so that he could write on the blank side. As he wrote with neat and fluent strokes the song ended and Shinji didn't begin again.

"You stopped," Asuka mumbled from her position on Shinji's shoulder.

"My fingers are tired," Shinji replied as he let his hand rest on his knee.

"But I was starting to remember more of the words and you were playing exceptionally well." Shinji smiled at Asuka's compliment, not showing his usually aversion to being praised.

"Miss Sohryu was right, you're very accomplished for someone your age," Fuyutsuki's voice shocked both of the children. They sat upright with Asuka moving her head so that her chin was resting on Shinji's shoulder. They both stared at the older man who hadn't looked up from the page he is writing on.

"Thank you Commander Fuyutsuki but I don't think I am that good," Shinji timidly responded after the initial shock of Fuyutsuki's presence wore off.

"I think you underestimate your talents Mister Ikari. You will find that people's opinion on their own abilities is often different from the truth. Some believe they are better than they really are and, more rarely, others such as yourself are better than you think you are. So if I were you I'd believe in what Miss Sohryu and myself say rather than what you think." Both children were a little agape at how much this normally quiet man was saying.

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Shinji finally mutters with a little doubt.

"May I ask where you heard the song you were just playing?" Fuyutsuki spoke without looking up and Shinji hesitated in answering.

"My… my mother used to sing it to me before she died," Shinji's quiet and downcast voice earns him a supportive squeeze from Asuka. Fuyutsuki nods his understanding but still doesn't look at him.

"I'm surprise you still remember it," Fuyutsuki absently replies.

"I didn't really until I heard the song it was based on, then it sort of came back to me. Although I can't remember her lyrics," Shinji looks down at his music wishing that he had the words to add to them.

"You sound like you knew her," Asuka interrupts Shinji's thoughts and her comment makes Fuyutsuki look up at them.

"I did, she was my best student when I taught at Kyoto university," Fuyutsuki spoke in a wistful voice but turned his face back to his notes. "I don't think I can remember a time after you were born that I saw you apart. You were always with her and I don't think I have ever seen a more obedient child. You always did what she asked of you and yet it seemed to please you just making her happy." Fuyutsuki caps his pen and tucks it back into his pocket as he looks over his finished work.

"You wouldn't happen to have a picture of her, would you?" Shinji asked hopefully.

"Sorry, I don't have one but if you want one you should really ask your father," Fuyutsuki forced himself to stare at the page, not wanting to look at Shinji's face.

"He doesn't have any. He destroyed them all," Shinji miserably adds, feeling a mild surge of anger for his father.

"That sounds like something he would do," Fuyutsuki mumbled to himself but loud enough for the children to hear. "But at least you have this to hold onto. Keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing it again," Fuyutsuki places the page in front of Shinji and Asuka. He then turns and walks out watched by the two teens as they still feel a little bemused by the man's comments. After he is gone they look down to the page that now sits atop of Shinji's music.

"Shinji's Lullaby, Lyrics: Yui Ikari, Music: Shinji Ikari, Vocals: Asuka Langley Sohryu." Asuka recited the top four lines of the text in a bewildered voice. Shinji looked equally confused but a smile crept onto his face as he read the lyrics. He could recollect the faint voice of his mother singing these words, which pleased him even more. 

"I guess you're going to need to learn these," Shinji whispered as he picked up the lyrics and handed them to Asuka. She leaned back away from Shinji, relinquishing her hold on him and taking the page in both hands. As she attentively began to read the note Shinji started to pack up his things. By the time he was finished Misato had appeared to take them home.

Misato was a little disturbed by the silence in the car. She was obeying all the road rules since she was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. When she had decided to look at her two roommates she found that they were both silent. Asuka was the surprise since Misato had thought the German girl would be in bad mood after everything that had happened. However Asuka had been so absorbed in what was written on the piece of paper she was holding and had to be lead by Shinji to the car. She was still focused on that page as she sat in the back seat next to Shinji's cello.

Shinji sat in the passenger side seat and was staring out the window as the scenery past at a normal rate. As Misato pulled up to a stoplight she noticed that Shinji's left hand moved as if he were playing his cello. Leaning forward she could tell from his eyes that he was not watching the scenery even though his eyes were looking in that direction. Shinji was part of Misato's subdued mood and it wasn't just the fact that she had a meeting with his father but also that Kaji had spoken to her. Kaji cornered her all the time so it wasn't unusual to talk to him but he had been strangely serious and possessed knowledge he could only have gotten from Shinji. 

What Kaji had been implying was that Shinji didn't trust her as he once had and she was only alienating him by her actions. That hadn't surprised Misato but she had been by Kaji saying that she was only adding to Shinji and Asuka's problems. Misato had pressed Kaji trying to get him to reveal exactly what he meant but he would only say that if Misato had been a little more relaxed Shinji would have been talking to her. It was the worrying thing for Misato that Shinji would rather talk to Kaji than her at the moment.

"I ran into Kaji before and he said he two had a long conversation," Misato's voice made Shinji jump but he smiled uneasily.

"I suppose it was kind of long," Shinji hesitantly stated not noticing Asuka watching them closely.

"So what did you to talk about?" Misato asked nonchalantly but Shinji eyed her suspiciously.

"Nothing really," Shinji tried to sound convincing but Misato wasn't buying it.

"Just as long as he wasn't giving you advice about women," Misato commented as she pulled into her parking space.

"He said since I'd already seduced Asuka, I didn't need any advice," Misato turned to stare at Shinji but he had already gotten out of the car. In the rear view mirror Misato could see Asuka hiding a smirk behind the page of lyrics. They made the journey up to the apartment in silence and they were all thankful to be home. Shinji was immediately giving the task of making a late supper while Misato had a bath.

"So what did you and Kaji talk about?" Asuka asked after returning to the kitchen in some casual clothes.

"A few things," Shinji answered much to Asuka's displeasure. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Details idiot, don't be so brief," Asuka's voice was soft. She wanted to reprimand him for being brief but not upset him and force him back into his shell.

"We talked about what was happening… Misato and… us," Shinji could feel Asuka tense up but he couldn't see her face.

"So what did he say… about Misato?" Asuka bit the inside of her lip after having just veered away from asking about what was said about their relationship. 

"He just said that she was probably trying to make sure that we don't make the same mistakes that they did. I mean she's in a difficult position as well. She has to make sure that we can pilot so she can't allow us the freedom most people have." Asuka considers Shinji's statement and acknowledges he has a point.

"Still doesn't mean she has to intrude on our privacy," Asuka grumbled after a few moments.

"I know, she could make it a little easier," Shinji admitted as he worked on the food. Asuka waited for a few minutes before she decided to ask the question she'd been avoiding.

"So what did you say about us?" Shinji hesitated before answering to Asuka's timid question.

"We just talked about what was happening and how things were going," Shinji tried to hide his face but Asuka could tell he wasn't saying everything.

"Did you talk about the synch test results?" Shinji nodded slowly. "Did you talk about how I wouldn't give up piloting for you?" Shinji nodded again but wasn't able to bring herself to hear what was said.

"I wasn't sure how you would react to my score being higher than yours," Shinji speaks slowly, carefully considering each sentence. "The fact that I beat you and that you said I was second to piloting meant that I didn't know what to expect from you. Whether you would yell at me or just stop talking to me. He realised that I was only waiting for the angels to end and that I didn't think that while we were still needed to pilot you would give it up for me. He made me promise that I wouldn't give up on you," Shinji stared at the cooking food, not moving a muscle.

From her position, Asuka couldn't Shinji's eyes but from how he was acting it was clear that he was waiting for a response from her. She was hesitant because she did want to yell at him for beating her but at the moment she couldn't muster up any resentment toward him. Normally he would avoid her if he was afraid of something and at best apologise. She never expected him to confess his fears to her, especially since she would usually consider it a sign of weakness. She was feeling a strong sense of empathy and to Shinji's surprise she tightened her hold and pressed her cheek against his neck.

Shinji's surprise was short lived as he relaxed in her embrace leaning back against her. Tentatively he moved one hand to where Asuka's arms crossed his chest and the other he reached up to caress Asuka's other cheek. Both of them completely absorb themselves in their embrace only moving for attempts to get more comfortable. However the mood was broken by the sound of the stove being turned off and a beer can being opened. They both quickly turn their faces to the source of the noises and see Misato wearing only a towel and a stern face.

"I hope the food isn't ruined I'm staving," Misato states plainly causing a blushing Shinji to turn his attention back to the food.

"For someone complaining about our lack of restraint, you could try wearing something decent," Asuka complained fervently. Misato smiled mischievously and struck a sultry pose in her doorway.

"I'm just getting ready for Shinji's educational lecture," Misato seductively whispered before disappearing into her room. Shinji hadn't seen Misato's pose but had heard her voice and was blushing harder than before. He wasn't helped by Asuka's reassuring embrace that had turned into a strong, possessive grip.

"Asuka… I can't breathe," Shinji stammered as he tried to prise Asuka's arms off.

"Sorry but she's not having you," Asuka fiercely whispered to Shinji as she released him. 

"She's just teasing you," Shinji replied, now able to breathe a lot easier.

"We'll I don't like it," Asuka indignantly stated as she sat down, allowing Shinji to dish out the food.

"Now you know how I feel," Shinji jested as he placed Asuka's plate in front of her.

"Asuka would you take that to your room, I want to talk to Shinji alone," Asuka wanted to protest but Misato looked like she wasn't going to budge. Shinji placed down his own and Misato's plates as Asuka stood up and claimed his lips with her own. Asuka glanced at Misato midway through the kiss to see that she was watching with an inquisitive stare.

"Make sure you keep your hands to yourself," Asuka ordered. It was directed at Misato as Asuka released a dumbstruck Shinji. She took her plate and walked towards her room pausing in her doorway.

"Before I go, what did Commander Ikari say?" Asuka didn't turn around and she couldn't quite hide the fear in her voice.

"He said that if your relationship affects your synch rates, you will be separated," Misato watches Asuka but the girl says nothing more as she enters her room closing the door behind her. Misato turns back to Shinji who is absently playing with his food and unwilling to look up.

"So Asuka would choose piloting over you if it came to a decision between the two, no wonder Kaji said that there were problems I didn't know about." Misato's voice was full of concern but Shinji didn't look up or bother to ask how Misato knew.

"Asuka's the most important thing in my life and I know that I'm not the most important thing to her. It doesn't matter because I think one day that'll change. I can't quit piloting because my father would send me away. I don't want to quit because then I can't protect her, even if she hates me for beating her score or saving her from angels." Shinji continued to play with his now cold food as Misato studied him carefully.

"If Asuka is smart, she'll realise how special you are and change her mind but in the meantime where do you want to start? The first day or just skip straight to the bedroom?" Shinji looked up completely confused by what Misato just said.

"Misato what are you talking about?" Shinji asks the now upbeat woman as she starts shovelling her food into her mouth regardless of its taste or temperature.

"Well Shinji you don't really know how to act around people and it's easy to see you've never had a date before. So I'm going to fill you in on the proper etiquette for a young couple, from first date to the bedroom. You can start out with the easy stuff or go straight to the juicy parts, so what's it going to be?" Shinji sat with his mouth opening and closing as he tried to comprehend what Misato was saying.

"Ah… first date, I guess," he mumbled finally giving up on his food so he could pay attention to Misato. Misato began to ramble about the dos and don'ts of dating and Shinji started to think he needed to take notes. Both of them forgot about Asuka who was sitting with her back to her door and her knees pulled up to her chest. She stared blankly into her room, not bothering to listen to Misato's rambling. Asuka had been listening but Shinji revelations to Misato had stirred up a tornado of conflicting emotions in her. So she was determined to sit there until she had sorted them all out, even if it took all night.

**Additional Notes:** Well I hope it is close to what you expected but if I missed something or you think I'm making some glaring errors feel free to tell me. I don't mind if you flame me, all constructive criticism is welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Evangelion but I am hoping to get some merchandise from a friend who is returning from Japan in a couple of days.

**Author's Notes:** I haven't completely lost interest although I did for a month and I wasn't able to write much. I was going well on my other story but when I got nominated for the Takoballs I decided I needed to finish this, even though I don't think I'll win anything.

So on a side note go and vote, there is a link at www.darkscribes.org , where I am also a member if you want an alternate viewing site for my fics. They also have a forum where you can review and a new story archive site www.evafics.org. Check them out for hopefully good quality Evangelion fics.

Shinji's Lullaby

Chapter 5

Rei walked steadily towards her destination. The evening was cooling down even though the sun had yet to fully set. The brilliantly coloured sky held no interest for her since she preferred the night. She made no extraneous movements as she continued at her deceptively quick pace. The breeze tousled her hair but she made no effort to brush it away from her eyes. She walked mechanically to her destination but her mind was focused purely on why she had come here. 

She had been asked by a superior officer to go to the look out over the city but it was a favour not an order. That was what puzzled the girl, how she had never been asked to do something by her own volition. She had only been ordered to do things but Misato was intent that she should only go if she wanted to. It would have been a bad thing if she had gone because she had been ordered to. Misato's request had made Rei think of when she had done something for herself. 

Normally Rei would only do what was necessary for herself, while also doing what she was ordered to. However lately she had been doing more for herself and she had barely recognised it until Misato had asked if she had wanted to do her a favour. It was strange to have to decide what she wanted to do but when she heard what Misato wanted, she was happy to comply. Only after hanging up the phone had she realised that she wanted to help Shinji and would have done so if she had known he was in trouble. At one time she wouldn't have given him the time of day but as their friendship grew she noticed how much information Shinji was giving her.

It wasn't vital but anecdotal. He gave her his own perspective on life and the events that Rei had observed but did not know the purpose of. Some of these events had become a part of her routine, like spending her lunchtimes eating something prepared by him with him and his friends. It was something she had never considered doing but found it both intriguing and insightful. While she didn't care if she was accepted, the simple act of eating a meal with them seemed to help them relax around her. While it never used to bother her she found that she appreciated the company of others more and was starting to prefer it to being alone.

Rei reached the look out and took a few seconds to examine the view. Rei had never like vivid colours and besides that she didn't enjoy the unnatural shapes of the buildings. She paused a second to expound on that point. The idea of enjoying the scenery was strange, especially since she felt an aversion to the unnatural shapes of buildings created by man. She found it disturbing that she held these views but normally didn't consider them since they were trivial. While it was an unusual revelation, she found that she wanted to find a deeper meaning to how she viewed the world.

The development of her personal philosophy would have to wait as she noticed Shinji. He was the reason she was here but all she knew was what Misato had told her. There had been a fight between Shinji and Asuka. After it Shinji had taken a few things and left the apartment while Asuka remained in her room. Misato had asked Rei to go because she wanted to stay and deal with Asuka. From Misato's tone, Rei deduced that her fellow female pilot had started the fight and probably for some unwarranted reason.

Shinji sat on the opposite side of the fence that lined the look out. In front of him was a steep, grassy slope that eventually stopped at a second barrier that was designed to stop people falling over the cliff that lay beyond it. It was a place to survey the surroundings but Shinji found the grass far more interesting. Rei had no trouble climbing over the fence and moving towards him. She could see the slight discolouration and swelling on his face and lip. She did nothing other than take a seat beside him and stare out to the horizon. Apart from the breeze the only other sound she could hear was music permeating from Shinji's SDAT.

Rei knew that Shinji was aware of her presence. Their meetings had become more frequent in the last week and he had started to distinguish her presence even amongst others. He would generally become tense for a moment, as if a chill had run down his spine before he would relax and talk to her. While Rei was conscious of this effect she also knew that Asuka's touch brought a similar reaction from Shinji, yet it reach far deeper than her presence. Rei wasn't envious of this, however she was surprised at how pleased she was to know that Shinji relaxed around her. Not even Commander Ikari would be completely relaxed. He was always holding something back that Rei used to ignore but found it hard knowing that Shinji would be completely honest with her.

"I suppose Misato told you to come here," Shinji broke the companionable silence as he pulled his earphones out of his ears.

"She asked me to come as a favour to her, although I don't understand that fully," Rei responded in her normal voice but didn't turn to face him as he had to her.

"You mean she asked you to come here, not ordered?" Shinji asked a little uncertainly.

"She insisted that I choose to come here because I wanted to. She was clear that she would not order me to come because you would view that as a negative matter. However she was unable to explain what it meant for me to do her a favour," Rei turned to Shinji, her stare clearly showing she wanted an explanation.

"Well… when a friend asks you to do something where you may receive nothing in return that is generally considered a favour. It's not an order because you don't have to do it. Of course if you consider them a good friend, it's nice to help them if you can." Rei considered the information as Shinji leaned back and watched the darkening sky.

"A favour is something you choose to do for a friend even if that act may go unrewarded," Shinji nodded as Rei looked for confirmation to the validity of her statement.

"Misato owes you a favour, so you can ask her to do something for you. It's kind of like she owes you a personal debt," Shinji could see Rei absorbing the information.

"I have nothing that I could ask Major Katsuragi for, it is a debt she cannot repay," Rei looked at Shinji to see that he found this amusing.

"You don't have to ask for anything now or ever if you don't need a favour from her. You just need to keep in mind that if you need something or someone's help, you can ask for Misato's help. Just don't ask her to teach you how to cook," Shinji smiled despite his mood as Rei looked curiously at him.

"I would not ask her to do something that she doesn't do herself. You appear to always cook for her so it would be logical to ask you to teach me." Shinji sighed slightly as he realised his attempt at a joke was futile. There was a momentary silence but Shinji didn't feel as uncomfortable as he used to with Rei's piercing gaze.

"You haven't asked me why I am here," Shinji reluctantly stated as the silence became unbearable for him.

"Major Katsuragi said that it would be best if you chose to speak rather than having myself ask you what happened. I only know that there was an argument between yourself and Pilot Sohryu." Rei watched Shinji as he leaned forward and stared into the ground acting somewhere between angry and thankful to his guardian.

"So she didn't tell you that I quit NERV and left my ID and phone at the apartment," Shinji looked up briefly to see Rei nod. "Would you have still come if you knew I was no longer a pilot?" Shinji didn't wait to see her reaction and instead looked down to wait for a verbal response. Rei could not find an answer at the moment since she was struggling with trying to determine if there was or should be a difference to her treatment of Shinji. On several occasions he had expressed his dislike of both his father and piloting but he had still been a pilot. She couldn't figure out that since he was no longer a pilot did he still deserve her attention.

"I guess it was a stupid question, I have a habit of asking those lately," Shinji quietly spoke as his spirits fell further. He had already decided that he was going to get a negative response and was planning his exit. With no reply forthcoming Shinji started to stand only to have Rei take hold of his arm and pull him back down. Stunned more by her action than the heavy landing, Shinji stared at her noticing a rare moment of indecision on her face.

"I do not know how to answer that question. While it may be inappropriate to associate with you because you are no longer a pilot, you are also my friend. I do not wish to lose our friendship because you have resigned as a pilot but I may have to if I am ordered to." The thought of having to be ordered to longer have any contact with Shinji made Rei feel a little discontent.

"I don't suppose it matters. Misato wouldn't have asked you to come unless she thought that I would change my mind. Besides if I really do resign, I'll be sent back to my old home, so I wouldn't see you again." As much as Shinji hated piloting he didn't see escaping back to the empty home he had come from as much of an improvement over his current life.

"It would be unfortunate if you should leave, I enjoy your company." Rei's simple comment brought a small smile to Shinji's lips, an act that Rei reciprocated.

"I enjoy you company as well Rei," Shinji noticed that she was taken slightly off guard as he used her given name. Another silence followed but the cooling air and darkening surroundings heightened their senses. Shinji decided it would probably be a good time to leave, although he had no idea where he was going. He stood and offered Rei a hand up, which she tentatively accepted. Shinji crouched down to put his SDAT into his bag and the hoisted the bag onto his shoulder.

"I guess this is goodbye then," Shinji mumbled, not entirely sure he wanted to say goodbye to her. He had a fair idea that Misato had sent Rei because he would be more likely to talk to her than any of his other friends. Of course it was a risky tactic on Misato's behalf since Rei wasn't exactly a great conversationalist.

"It is if you want it to be," Rei replied and Shinji blankly looked back. 

"What do you mean? You have to go home and I have to go…" Shinji trailed off as he tried to decide where his destination was.

"You do not wish to go home and yet you have no other place to go. Would it not be logical for you to stay with me?" Rei watched as Shinji debated with himself on whether or not to accept her offer.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be an inconvenience," Shinji felt a little anxious by Rei's invitation. He had seen her apartment and it wasn't well furnished but considering his other options it was appealing to some degree.

"Would it be easier for you if you had some purpose in your stay?" Shinji was a little confused but nodded anyway. "Then can I ask a favour of you, Shinji?" while Rei found it a little awkward using his name she noticed that it seemed to help him relax.

"How can I help you?" Shinji stated more confidently.

"Teach me to cook," Rei flatly responded, much to Shinji's dismay. 

"Ah, sure, I guess but do you have everything you need?" Shinji asked hesitantly knowing that Rei's apartment could be considered bare of some of the necessities for cooking.

"If you tell me what you need then I can inform you if I have such a thing in my possession. Those things I do not have can be easily acquired. Is that satisfactory?" Shinji again nodded a little dumbly and Rei smiled back at him before stepping over the fence they had been leaning against. As she started the walk back to the city, Shinji scrambled to catch up. Once he was walking alongside her he waited a few moments before he began his questions, first trying to find out what she wanted to cook and then listing what they needed.

As they conversed Rei considered her actions as a minor success. While Misato had wanted to make sure she talked to Shinji of her own free will, she also suggested that she stayed with him until he talked about Asuka. At the moment she had achieved this as well as getting Shinji to show her how to cook. She had made attempts on her own but was unable to emulate the taste Shinji produced. This way she could achieve two things at once and besides, she was hungry.

It seemed like a good idea but like most of her good ideas lately, it appeared to be ineffective. She had managed to clean out half her beer stock and yet she still felt no ill effects of the alcohol. She knew that would change if she moved or stood up but that didn't stop her from finishing the last full cans that sat beside her. The rest of the empties lay on the couch and floor around her, waiting to be disposed of. However Misato was determined to continue her silent vigil even though her attempts at a relaxing drink were not working.

She had turned the couch around so that she was facing the kitchen. She was waiting for the inevitable emergence of Asuka from her room. Misato had checked on the girl when she found Shinji's note and ID card but she had fallen into a fitful sleep. It was mildly surprising that she could sleep but Misato felt reassured that it would not be as refreshing as sleeping with a clear conscience. The so called fight had been all one sided as usual with Asuka on all out attack while Shinji's defence failed to calm her. It ended with Shinji finally breaking as saying something he shouldn't have and Asuka's right fist.

After picking himself off the floor, Shinji had gone on with his normal chores calmly and even preserved Asuka's uneaten dinner for later. Of course as soon as he was done and Misato was in her room he had vanished and left a note explaining his actions. Misato hated that he had shrugged off her attempted help and realised that he held her to blame for some of what happened. She also felt responsible, not just for the fight but for not making her efforts forceful enough. In the end she had taken the easy option and sent Rei rather than going herself.

Misato had seen it coming since this morning. Asuka appeared from her room showing all the signs of staying up all night. When Asuka had first seen Shinji, the indecision in her face was obvious and she could only muster a weak nod before retreating to the bathroom. She had returned more her usual self but seemed troubled whenever she knew that Shinji wasn't watching her. After they had left Misato had gone to work but she was determined to be home when they returned after school. In the end that was probably her first mistake.

Misato had arrived home just after Shinji and Asuka and Asuka was already in a mood about something. Shinji informed her that the latest synch test results had been mentioned at school. Misato tried to reassure her that the only thing that the synch tests proved was that Shinji was trying to make good on his promise to protect her. Asuka immediately took offence to that and even though Misato tried to calm her, Asuka's anger continued to escalate. Misato was glad Shinji made the effort to interject but his inept attempt caused the girl to explode.

Shinji then became the sole target as Asuka finally let lose her frustrations. Shinji made sporadic comments aimed at appeasing her but they only increased the severity of Asuka's tirade. She pointed out everything he did that annoyed her. She made sure he understood that she didn't need his protection or help. She said that she only tolerated him because he made her life easier away from Eva but that ended when he started upstaging her. In the end Shinji broke and vehemently shouted that he should have never have saved her from the volcano.

That was when Asuka, on the verge of tears, lashed out and knocked Shinji to the ground. She then stood over him, waiting to see if he would stand or preparing to kick him where he lay. As much as Misato regretted her comments, she was disgusted with herself that it took that action to make her intervene. She slid in to protect Shinji and a stunned Asuka finally relented and stormed to her room. Misato had then tried to help Shinji but he resited her attempts and practically ignored her until she left him alone.

Misato's recollections ended as Asuka's door opened slowly. She didn't look around the room but instead walked slowly towards the kitchen. Her eyes were red but she hadn't been crying. They were also empty and her face was almost lifeless as she dragged her feet while she walked. Standing in front of the fridge, she looked at it as if she could see through the door. Eventually she pulled the door open and blinked as the light hurt her tired eyes. She stared at the neatly wrapped dinner that sat proudly in the centre of the fridge. She picked it up and looked at it blankly but her expression soon turned to disgust. She shoved the plate of food back into the fridge before slamming the door.

Misato watched as the girl leaned onto the front of the fridge, her eyes screwed shut and her teeth gritted as she forced back her tears. She slowly sank to the floor under the weight of her own guilt. Misato felt some empathy for her but she didn't interfere. She wanted Asuka to suffer at least some of the pain she had inflicted on her roommate and supposed boyfriend. Asuka didn't move for several minutes but did slowly lean back away from the fridge and look forlornly at Shinji's bedroom door. Looking back to the floor in front of her Asuka finally decided to pick herself up.

Asuka contemplated returning to her room for another few minutes before she uncertainly paced towards Shinji's door. She again stared at the door, hoping to see through it to the occupant she believed was lying inside. Her hand rose but stopped before making contact with the door as Asuka decided against knocking. This action was repeated several times as Asuka's heart and mind battled for supremacy. She traced the lines that make up the writing on the nameplate that hung proudly on the door. Finally giving in to her regret and guilt she slid the door open and slipped inside without knocking.

Waiting patiently Misato gazed at the door waiting for Asuka to withdraw from Shinji's room once she found it empty. Misato didn't have to wait long as Asuka slowly backed out, fear creeping into her eyes. She guessed that Asuka noticed the clothes and SDAT missing leaving only the cello and two picture frames. The more decorative of the frames held a picture of the two pilots taken only a few days ago and was lying face down. The other frame was empty but had contained an image of the three roommates taken before two of them became a couple. All signs were that Shinji had left and probably wasn't planning on returning, something Asuka hadn't expected.

She turned to look at Misato's closed bedroom door but found herself caught between asking for help and fear the woman's reaction to Shinji disappearance. What Asuka didn't know was that Misato was still watching intently from the couch and already knew of Shinji's departure. Asuka quickly sorted out her feeling and decided what action to take. With a couple of swift strides Asuka stood in front of Misato's door and about to knock. She wasn't able to complete that action as Misato's icy voice broke the silence in the apartment.

"He left hours ago, the note is on the table," Asuka whirled around to see Misato sitting on the couch surrounded by empty cans but looking stone cold sober. Still coming to grips with the ominous looking Misato, Asuka slowly moved to the table and looked down on the note. It was short and concise, stating he had lost his reason for remaining in Tokyo-3 and offering an apology for being a burden. It was addressed to Misato and made no direct reference to Asuka or the fight. The note lay next to his discarded phone and ID card.

"I guess you got your wish, you're now the number one pilot. Congratulations," Misato maintained her cold voice and stared at Asuka waiting for a reaction.

"Like you're happy he left, I'm surprised you're not out there now searching for your little Shin-chan," Asuka attempted to be bitter but it wasn't convincing. Asuka couldn't muster Misato's conviction and she was also struggling to understand why she hadn't run after her precious Shinji.

"Didn't you read the note, he resigned, so he's no longer my responsibility. It's probably for the better, you pointed out that he wasn't cut out for piloting so he'll be safer if he leaves Tokyo-3." Misato saw the upturn in fear as Asuka realised that Shinji may have already have left the city.

"The Commander isn't going to be happy you let him go, you know how hard it is to find pilots. I surprised you haven't called up Section Two and told them to drag him back here." Asuka was desperately trying to convince Misato to act while appearing indifferent to the outcome. Misato didn't move an inch, she barely breathed as she stared at Asuka.

"Dragging him back doesn't mean he'll pilot but I suppose that's better for you. If he doesn't want to pilot he won't have a chance of succeeding and will eventually get himself killed," Misato could see Asuka's frustration mounting.

"Why aren't you doing something? You are just showing that you really didn't care," Asuka's anger had the advantage at the moment but Misato could see the stress taking it's toll.

"I DO care, unlike you. It's better if he leaves rather than have his hopes raised by you, only to have them shattered because he beat you by one lousy point. The great Asuka Langley Sohryu so enraged by just a single percentage point that she had to destroy the life of her supposed boyfriend. So Asuka, did you really care or was this just another one of your acts to draw attention?" Misato hadn't yelled at her but Asuka still looked stunned. Misato waited for a few moments as Asuka searched for her voice.

"What's the matter Asuka, nothing to say? You had plenty to say before, have you run out of words or are you just waiting for Shinji to return so you can torment him again? Maybe this time you're just going to beat him rather than…" Misato smirked as she finally go a reaction from Asuka.

"It's not like that, I didn't mean to. Stop talking and go and find him before he leaves," Asuka's desperate plea was ignored by Misato.

"Why should I Asuka? What does it matter if he stays or leaves?" Misato coolly inquired trying to get a response that showed the girl's true feelings.

"Stop him before he leaves me," Asuka whispered with her head bowed and her eyes hidden by her hair. She appeared to be wavering where she stood, getting closer and closer to collapsing. Misato let the silence drag out but she started to her small sniffs coming from Asuka as her tears welled up.

"No," Misato's one word answer caused Asuka's knees to finally buckle and she dropped down to land heavily on the floor. The tears spilled down her cheeks as the lost little girl finally began to realise the magnitude of her mistake. Misato allowed her features to soften, not that Asuka could see it with her eyes full of tears. Asuka continued to sink lower as her body lost the desire to move.

"So now you know something similar to what Shinji probably feels right now," Misato watched as Asuka stopped herself from completely slumping to the ground.

"Then make it stop, go and find Shinji and…" Asuka trailed off as she failed to think of something to do once Shinji was found.

"Neither of us is going anywhere. You have all night to think of what you are going to do to make it up to Shinji," Asuka coughed out a bitter laugh.

"There's no point if Shinji isn't here," Asuka's voice was that of someone who was defeated. Misato didn't respond straight away as Asuka's tears stopped and her despair started to grow.

"What do you want Asuka? Do you want him to stay here because you asked him to stay or leave because you chased him away?" Asuka hesitated on the answer, something that Misato didn't want to see.

"Answer me!" Misato barked out and Asuka suddenly sat up straight.

"I want him to stay," Asuka replied almost immediately without bothering to think but finding an odd sense of reassurance from it.

"That's what I wanted to hear. Now you just have to figure out what you are going to do," Misato plainly stated. Asuka's mind started to get into gear as she tried to figure out what she wanted to do.

"I'm going to find him of course," Asuka felt the energy flowing back into her being as she pictured finding a lost and lonely Shinji.

"No you are not," Misato coldly stated and Asuka paused but her anger returned with a vengeance.

"There's no point doing anything else if Shinji leaves," Asuka started to stand to strength her position but Misato wasn't bothered.

"So what are you going to tell him when you find him?" Misato saw the pause in Asuka's movements but she continued to speak before Asuka could cut in. "You need to figure out what you are going to do Asuka. Shinji put himself in an impossible situation where he wasn't going to win. It was only a matter of time before he came between you and Eva. When he did you tried to hold back but you eventually lost your temper. I'd rather not have that happen again," Misato's voice was forceful and she maintained her stern face as Asuka absorbed the information.

"It won't happen again," Asuka whispered, trying to affirm her own belief in her words.

"Shinji can't quit piloting because he'll have to leave Tokyo-3. He can't become the best pilot because you'll be angry with him but he has to be the best pilot he can in order to protect you. You have trained half your life for this and now Shinji is matching you in a fraction of that time. Eventually he was going to do something that you wouldn't like and you were bound to let him now about it. Both as your guardian and your commanding officer I can't let that happen," Misato noticed Asuka's head drop but she didn't sink back to the ground.

"Now is the time that you have to figure out what you are going to do. Shinji has made promises and he was never going to be able to keep them all. You however have made no such promises or concessions to him. I'm not expecting you to walk away from Eva but you need to separate the two aspects of your life. You can't blame Shinji for what he does as a pilot, just as you shouldn't let your personal feelings affect your piloting. Like I said you have all night to decide what to do," Misato realised that she had one more can of beer and decided to open it. Asuka was still looking at the floor pondering what Misato had just said.

"I can't just change who I am," Asuka announced without much vigour. She felt lifeless knowing that it was her fault and she had to change but not knowing how.

"Don't give me that crap. Look at Shinji, before you came he didn't care if he lived or died. You pushed him, making him work harder not just because he was told to. He started to believe that he could achieve something and he has by beating you. Now it's up to you to treat it as a friendly challenge and not a bitter rivalry. By screaming at him because he bettered your score you show that you can't handle the challenge. Show me you're better than that by changing that attitude of yours," Asuka looked up to meet Misato's gaze but neither of them looked away.

"Do you think it's that easy to change? Shinji ran away the first sign of trouble and you say he's changed," Asuka's voice was quiet but firm.

"You pushed him away and hurt him both mentally and physically. To him you appeared to be everything that he has always run from. The most important person to him turned around and hurt him just like the rest of his life. Of course he was going to run away," Misato waved her arms trying to emphasise her point but Asuka wasn't watching.

"He did the same to me," Asuka weakly grumbled and Misato sighed.

"At the time he was under a lot of stress, I mean you were screaming about how pathetic he was." Misato tried not to sound too harsh but her comments didn't seem to affect her. They both remained silent and neither of them moved as they felt they had nothing left to say. Misato finished off her last beer and immediately felt her stomach disagree with the addition of more alcohol. Standing up, Misato found that she wasn't affected too much but she knew that it wasn't going to last for too long.

"Asuka you should try to get some sleep," Misato started as she walked towards her room. "You have to decide what to tell Shinji and how you are going to apologise. You have to make up for your mistake and make him believe you. If you don't I guess he's going to leave or at least move out of here," Misato placed a comforting hand on Asuka's shoulder. It was left there for a few moments before Misato started to walk past Asuka and into her room. Asuka's hand caught Misato's wrist before she could move out of reach.

"What's the point with coming up with something to say if he's not around to talk to?" Asuka didn't look up at first but as Misato stayed quiet and didn't move she eventually looked up to the older woman. Misato was smiling but it was a smile that showed she knew something that Asuka didn't.

"I sent someone to talk to him, so he should be fine and he won't have gone far," Misato spoke slyly. She could see the emotions rising in Asuka's eyes but it wasn't anger, more like hope.

"Who did you send? Where are they?" Asuka quickly asked but Misato remained calm.

"I know where they were but they would have moved by now and I don't think you want to know who." Misato almost laughed as Asuka's anger shone through but she restrained herself from yelling.

"Tell me who it is. Kaji, Kensuke, Toji, maybe Hikari. Don't tell me you sent Ritsuko," Misato shook her head to each name and Asuka paused to find another name. Misato could see the disbelief and fear on Asuka's face as she realised that there was only one other person who Shinji could possibly talk to. Misato was able to slip out of Asuka's grasp and make it to her bedroom door.

"Don't worry Asuka, I'm sure Rei will take good care of him. Of course if it is too good Shinji may not want to come back," Misato left the shell shocked Asuka in the kitchen, slipped into her room and promptly passed out in her bed.

Shinji was surprised at how quiet this place was during the night. Rei's apartment was always surrounded by noise during the day but now it was completely silent and still. He couldn't listen to his SDAT because after a day of almost constant play, the batteries gave out and he couldn't get new ones till tomorrow. It wasn't much help that he kept replaying the events of the afternoon that had seen him flee his home. He regretted what he had said to her in retaliation and it didn't help that his lip ached.

He was lost and bewildered as Asuka turned on him. His world was crumbling and at first he wanted to save it but as Asuka continued to rant he just wanted for her to stop. He said he shouldn't have saved her and it was as good as wishing her dead. However when she had stopped and the immense pain appeared on her face, he felt almost pleased at making her suffer like he was suffering. It disgusted him but he didn't think like that for long as Asuka's punch stopped all articulate thoughts. 

Misato had rushed to his aid at that point and Asuka finally retreated. As his head stopped throbbing, his mind caught up with events and Misato became someone to blame. She had started it and then failed to help until it was all but over. He treated her coldly, ignoring her attempts at help and focusing purely on mindless tasks. He hadn't though about what had happened until he had dropped onto his bed and felt his sore face. Then he saw the picture that Asuka had Hikari take because Kensuke refused. After turning it face down he had started packing up his things and before he knew it he was walking out in the late afternoon sun.

Shinji sniffed as he tried to forget the torturous journey, his mind reliving and escalating the pain he had been subjected to. A slow walk to nowhere that ended high above the city that wouldn't care if he existed or not except for the fact he was one of its saviours. Even though Rei tried to help by keeping him occupied, Shinji knew that she was doing it more because of Misato's instructions rather than her own initiative. Although it had been strangely fulfilling to teach Rei a simple recipe even though his dark thoughts were still present in the back of his mind. 

Shinji rolled onto his side to view the girl in question. She lay on her back and perfectly still, seemingly in a state of deep sleep. Shinji had to wonder how she could fall asleep that easily when she never appeared tired or over exerted in anything she did. Her stillness was in contrast to most times he had witness Asuka asleep. He tried to push those memories away as he remembered her restlessness but also her occasional vulnerability. He closed his eyes in an effort to help banish the memories of how he had been able to dispel those fears just by holding her. He didn't want to think of the good times and as he opened his eyes he noticed he was being watched.

"You cannot sleep, why?" Rei's head was tilted to the side and her red eyes examined Shinji as he lay on the makeshift bed on the floor.

"Sad memories, bad dreams," Shinji softly replied and Rei rolled to her side interested in his comment.

"Are dreams not always pleasant?" Rei continued to stare at Shinji who was trying to come up with a satisfactory answer.

"Not always, dreams can be both good and bad. What happens to you during your life affects what you dream about. If you have some problems they can influence what you dream about," Shinji looked at Rei who was considering the answer.

"So your argument with Pilot Sohryu has affected your ability to sleep," Rei concluded and Shinji shifted uncomfortably in his bed.

"You could say that but I've never really been able to sleep well, especially after my father left me. How about you Rei, don't you have your own dreams?" Shinji tried to shift the conversation away from Asuka.

"I do not dream," she replied plainly and looked away from Shinji.

"I don't mean when you sleep, don't you have dreams about what you want to achieve in life. What do you want to do after you are no longer needed to pilot?" Shinji sat up, feeling a little awkward trying to speak up to Rei who was lying on her bed.

"My purpose has always been to pilot Eva, I can envision nothing else," Rei spoke in her normal, level voice but she didn't look over to where Shinji sat.

"I guess that's how Asuka feels. I can't remember having something or doing anything that I couldn't live with out. I've only ever done what I was told," Shinji drew his knees up and stared down to the floor. His life felt increasingly empty as he realised what he had and was now losing in Tokyo-3. He had nothing in his old life but had slowly acquired friends even though he was doing something he hated. The one thing he had been positive about was Asuka but he had quickly surrendered that as well, despite his promises.

Shinji suddenly noticed an arm reach around his chest and felt warmth encircle him. He looked out of the corner of his eye to see Rei by his side. Her arms were wrapped around his chest and her head rested on his shoulder but he was unable to see her face. While he felt his body temperature rising, Shinji didn't feel completely uncomfortable. Even with the knowledge that Rei was only dressed in a white, cotton shirt, he felt calmed by her touch. Rei could feel Shinji tense up as she embraced him but he slowly relaxed.

"Is this uncomfortable for you?" Rei quietly asked, not quite comfortable herself.

"No… not really, it's more… unexpected," Shinji stammered as her voice made him feel more discomfort.

"Is this not how one person comforts another?" Rei leaned back so she could see his face but she didn't remove her arms.

"It is but I didn't think that you would… hug someone," Shinji's hesitance was meet with puzzlement by Rei.

"We are friends and you required comfort, was it inappropriate for me to take such action?" Rei continued to gaze curiously at Shinji but he felt no compunction to look away.

"It's not inappropriate, I'm just not used to being comforted," Shinji spoke meekly and tried to smile.

"You had no discomfort in being comforted by Pilot Sohryu," Rei responded quickly and Shinji looked away. 

"That's different," Shinji's comment would have normally been interpreted as an end to a conversation or an indication to use more tact. Unfortunately for Shinji, Rei didn't have the social skills to do either.

"How?" Rei asked bluntly, leaning back as she did and letting her hands rest at her sides. The simple and direct question wasn't unexpected on Shinji's behalf but he was still reluctant to answer. He sighed as he glanced at her and she was still waiting in anticipation of an answer to her query.

"I don't know how to explain it fully," Shinji conceded but he wasn't quite sure how to explain it to Rei.

"Try, I would like to understand," Rei insistence brought a wry smile to Shinji's face but it quickly faded.

"I told Kaji that when I'm close to her I don't feel alone but it's more than that. I felt something deep inside that I've never felt before. I suppose I could say I feel complete but that doesn't sound quiet right," Rei listened avidly to Shinji's musing. 

"Would you say that her soul compliments your own?" Shinji looked blankly at her but nodded, an understanding dawning on him. "You share a bond that is the strongest possible between two beings, it is something that is unique and should be cherished." Shinji stared at Rei, digesting the information until the negative part of his mind reminded him of his situation.

"It doesn't matter, it's over," Shinji dejectedly sighed as he again stared at the floor.

"The bond may have weakened but that does not mean it is broken. If you leave there will be no chance of saving it. Is the bond not worth saving?" Rei was perplexed by Shinji behaviour and could not fathom Shinji's lack of motivation.

"There's no point in trying if Asuka doesn't care," Shinji miserably replied as his head dropped a little lower.

"Pilot Sohryu often says things in anger that she does not believe in. If the bond is something that you have never felt, you should try to save it. Not doing anything will do nothing to help you," Rei did not know why Shinji didn't understand her logic.

"If I leave, she won't be able to hurt me," Shinji weakly pleaded.

"You suffer already because she hurt you and that pain will not go away, even if you leave. Even if you stay you will have to risk being hurt and occasionally be hurt. It is something you must endure to find fulfilment," Shinji didn't move so Rei placed a hand over his. He looked up at this but didn't look at Rei.

"I told her that I shouldn't have saved her, I practically wished she were dead. I'm the one who should have died," Shinji lay down in his bed again. He rolled away from Rei so that his back was to her as she knelt beside him. Rei observed him closely as he tried to sleep but he knew that Rei was still watching him.

"If you had wished to die, then you would have done so already. You have faced death many times but you still continued to fight. If you no longer had hope for a better future then you would have allowed an angel to kill you. If you do not act and allow Pilot Sohryu the chance to apologise, then would you not be letting the greatest source of your hope slip away from you?" Rei remained where she was for a few moments, waiting to see if Shinji was going to reply. Eventually she stood and returned to her bed, leaving Shinji to think about what had been said.

Shinji heard her move and climb into her bed. Only once she was settled did he allow himself to open his eyes, not that there was much to see. Her words made sense but they also went against how he had lived his life up until now. His mind went between Rei's logical argument and Asuka's screaming with neither side gaining much ascendancy. His own thoughts joined the chorus of voices of people he knew adding support to one side or the other. As usual, sleep would not come easily for him but unlike most nights he had no SDAT to soothe his turbulent mind or escape the reality of his situation. Rei watched him, well aware of his state of consciousness and his internal conflict but she was reassured that he had nowhere to run, at least for tonight.

Shinji wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and stood back to admire his handy work. He had decided not to go to school and convinced Rei that he wasn't going to leave. Of course Rei wasn't convinced until she got a call from Misato saying that it would be okay for her to leave him alone. Rei then didn't have any qualms about leaving, although Shinji had made two lunches and asked her to give one to Asuka. He was specific which one she should give her because it contained a note of apology. He only hoped that she would accept it but with the end of school drawing near he was sure he'd find out soon.

He looked over the now clean table again but came to the same conclusion. The table needed two people to move it and presently there were only a few rats and himself. He sighed as he realised that he would have to wait until Rei returned home and thus ruin the surprise he had for her. As he taught Rei how to cook, he quickly noticed that there wasn't enough bench space. So after spending nearly all day and a large amount of bleach cleaning her apartment, he searched the other abandoned ones for a table. He had found one that would suit her needs and had additional chairs that she could use. 

"Need a hand?" Misato's chipper voice startled Shinji as he stared at the table.

"Um… yeah, can you help me move this to Rei's apartment?" Shinji's nervousness didn't affect Misato as she strolled over to the opposite end of the table.

"I sure can," she replied smiling, making Shinji fell even more anxious. Misato could see that he was trying not to look at her and focusing purely on the task at hand. He was obviously dreading when the conversation would turn serious and they would start to talk about Asuka and NERV. At the moment Misato was happy to wait, she had already had to explain herself to Ritsuko and left work early just to get to Shinji before Asuka did. 

Misato had woken up feeling sick but also acutely aware of the situation. Asuka was still asleep but there were marks on the door that showed she had tried to break it down. Misato had deliberately locked her in to prevent her from getting to Shinji before she did. Not that it mattered considering Asuka didn't know where Rei lived. Asuka had been reluctant to go to school until Misato mentioned that Hikari would probably know where Rei lived. With Asuka taken care of, Misato had gone to NERV to make sure the rest of her obligations were taken care of.

They positioned the table in Rei's clean apartment and Misato could smell the strong scent of lemon from the bleach. Shinji busied himself positioning the chairs around the table and Misato sat down in one of the seats. She made sure that she had a good view of the front door so that she had plenty of warning when Asuka arrived. Shinji uneasily looked around for something to do.

"Could you get me a beer?" Misato asked casually, as if she were at home. Shinji gave her a strange look but complied and was surprised to find a six-pack sitting in the fridge.

"You shouldn't fill Rei's fridge with beer," Shinji complained as he placed a can on the table for Misato.

"She won't mind, anyway it helps me relax and we need to talk," Misato noticed Shinji cringe slightly at her comment.

"Do you want something to eat? I haven't had lunch yet," Shinji quickly put his head back in the fridge to avoid Misato. Misato waited until Shinji had retrieved what he needed from the fridge and started preparing a couple of snacks.

"So what are you planning on doing?" Shinji paused in his movements but didn't speak. Misato waited and resisted the urge to repeat her question.

"I made Asuka a lunch with a note in it and I asked Rei to deliver it. I said I was sorry and wasn't going to leave just yet," Shinji slowly continued preparing the food and Misato carefully regarded his comments.

"What are you going to do when you see her?" Misato spoke in a serious voice despite casually sitting at the table with a beer in hand.

"I don't know," Shinji quietly responded, feeling a little uncomfortable with the subject. Anytime he tried to visualise talking to her, she always ended up screaming at him and then leaving him.

"You should figure it out, I had to lock Asuka inside last night so she would do the same thing. Of course she still tried to get out and find you," Misato inwardly smiled when Shinji turned to listen to her. He was clearly taken aback by the knowledge that Asuka wanted to look for him. The pause between them was broken by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Rei stood staring slightly wide-eyed at her clean apartment and new furniture.

"I hope you don't mind," Shinji stammered, as Rei didn't react immediately.

"Of course she likes it. Come on Rei, take a seat and have a beer," Misato smiled brightly ignoring Shinji's scowl.

"Thank you Shinji," Rei stated softly as she moved to the table and took a seat. "I don't drink beer Major Katsuragi but tea would be nice," Shinji maintained a cautious gaze at Rei but Misato acted as if she were at her own apartment.

"No matter, more for me," Misato held up her empty can so that Shinji could collect it and replace it with a full one. He returned to his work, finishing the snacks as well as starting some tea. Misato occasionally glanced at Rei before deciding to ask the question that had been bothering her since her arrival.

"So Rei, I'm surprised Asuka didn't come with you," Misato watched as Rei turned to her, both of them seemingly ignoring Shinji.

"She preferred to wait for Class Representative Horaki," Rei replied flatly and Misato smiled.

"So she is coming after all, you might need to prepare some more food Shinji," Shinji didn't respond to Misato but Rei stood up from the table.

"Do you require my help?" Rei inquired as she moved towards Shinji.

"It's okay, I can manage," Shinji's muttered reply didn't dissuade Rei from looking over his shoulder.

"This is my home, is not my duty to help with the food preparation?" Shinji looked over his shoulder at Rei and passed her to the onlooking Misato.

"Well, I suppose," came Shinji's stuttered response as Rei stood alongside him and looked over the half prepare snack.

"This is also an opportunity for you to continue teaching me how to cook," both Rei and Shinji looked over their shoulders when Misato coughed loudly.

"You're learning how to cook?" Misato blankly looked at the two teenagers standing at the kitchen bench.

"I wished to learn how to cook so I asked a favour for Shinji to teach me. From what I understand Major Katsuragi, you could also use lessons on how to cook." Shinji looked away as Misato glared at him but Rei was unfazed.

"I think I cook perfectly well and I don't need lessons," Misato stated proudly and Shinji didn't try to dispute her assertion. 

"If you believe that you do not need help, then no one will be able to help you." Rei turned to watch what Shinji was doing, ignoring Misato's irritated glare. Misato briefly looked at the back of Shinji's head but she could just imagine that he was smiling due to Rei's remark. Any thought of a counter attack was banished from Misato's mind as a quiet knock at the door echoed into the room. With Rei not moving from her position besides Shinji, Misato got up and walked to the door.

"Welcome to the party," Misato announced merrily as she opened the door. The group waiting outside was momentarily stunned but Toji and Kensuke reacted first, showing their delight at Misato's presence.

"Thank you Misato," the duo cooed, practically drooling as Misato smiled vibrantly at them. They walked passed Misato and into the apartment leaving Hikari and Asuka standing outside. Hikari looked back at the unusually apprehensive Asuka before she slowly trotted inside to keep Kensuke and Toji in order. Misato watched Asuka as she stood in two minds about what to do.

"You wanted to see him and he's here, so there's no point in waiting out here," Misato encouragement didn't seem to sway Asuka. Instead Misato left the girl standing outside and walked into the apartment without closing the door. Misato walked straight to the fridge and retrieved her third beer but she remained there so that she could gauge Shinji's reaction. Both Toji and Kensuke seemed keen to corner Shinji so that they could get to talk about what he had done in Rei's apartment all night. However Hikari kept them in check but was also throwing worried glances at the door, as Asuka still hadn't made an appearance.

"Ah, thanks Ayanami," Toji stammered as Rei started to place some of the food out onto the table. Toji wasted no time in trying them out and nodded approvingly to Rei. Kensuke seemed more interested in Shinji than the food but tried some anyway. Hikari continued to look from Shinji to the empty doorway and then to Misato for any sign of someone taking the initiative. 

"I can complete this task Shinji, you should invite Pilot Sohryu to join us," Rei spoke calmly as she moved back to where Shinji was finishing the last of the food. Shinji hesitated and looked to Misato for help. Misato shrugged her shoulders and joined the other children at the table. With no one else speaking up in his aid, Shinji sighed as he summed up his courage and walked to the front door.

Through the open door he could see Asuka standing just outside with her head bowed. Her bag was held in front of her with both hands gripping it tightly. As he drew closer he could she her chewing on her lower lip and even as he stepped outside the door, she failed to notice him. Looking over his shoulder, Shinji caught a glimpse of the curious faces of Kensuke and Misato ducking out of sight. Shinji reached back and closed the door, the sound enough to bring him to Asuka's attention. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, over shadowing the hint of fear. The moment was broken as Asuka abruptly turned around and walked towards the stairs.

"Follow stupid," Asuka called back as Shinji watched her walking away. It wasn't a taunt or a demand but more a plea to follow if he cared. Shinji strode quickly to catch up and followed her up the stairs to the top floor. She eventually stopped, dropping her bag and leaning on the rail to stare out at the rather desolate part of town. Shinji didn't know what to do at first but joined Asuka leaning on the rail although he was a few feet from her. They made uncertain glances toward each other but their gazes never meet.

"Misato made me spend the whole night trying to think of what to say but nothing I came up with seemed appropriate. No matter what I imagined I said to you, you always left me alone," Asuka felt a range of negative emotions but they seemed to vanish as she noticed a wry smile of Shinji's face.

"I was thinking the same thing, except instead of running away you yelled and screamed at me." Shinji answered Asuka's curious stare and she copied his wry smile, enjoying the moment of understanding. Asuka let her chin rest on her arms that were folded over the railing. She stared down at the pavement below while Shinji stared out to the horizon.

"We're both screwed up but I still need to apologise," Asuka looked up at Shinji but he didn't turn to face her.

"You don't need to, I already know you're sorry," Shinji turned to Asuka expecting a smile but he found that Asuka wasn't particularly happy.

"Don't do that, you can't just dismiss it like it didn't mean anything," Asuka's forceful voice made Shinji take a step back and Asuka stepped forward in response.

"Ah… sorry," Shinji suppressed the urge to back away another step as Asuka failed to muffle her growl of frustration. Noticing Shinji's slow retreat Asuka stopped to take a couple of cleansing breaths and as she released her anger her body language returned to one of indecision. Shinji relaxed but felt an instant desire to comfort Asuka as she battled herself to finish what she started.

"I'm sorry… not just because of the argument yesterday but before that when I should have been honest with you." Shinji watched Asuka but with her head bowed he had a hard time recognising the expressions on her face. She looked up to see his expression and he weakly smiled in reassurance. Asuka turned to the side to look out to the horizon allowing Shinji to study her face in profile while she continued to speak.

"After the synch tests I was angry at you for beating me but also at myself because I was beaten. I thought I could just be angry with everyone else but you. Then when I listened to you talking to Misato and why you were piloting, I didn't know what to think. I hated you for thinking I needed your protection but I was glad that you were finally taking Eva seriously. I didn't get much sleep that night as I tried to figure out what I wanted to do but I couldn't find any answers." Asuka let her head tilt forward, looking down at the pavement as Shinji continued to stare at her.

"At first I was okay but then the test scores got mentioned and everyone congratulated you on being the best. I hated it because no one had ever complimented me like that, even if it was only the other two stooges. I felt like I was going to explode but whenever I thought about berating someone, it was always you. I thought it was a blessing when Misato put her foot in it but then you had to step in. It felt comfortable screaming at you but then you said you shouldn't have saved me," Asuka looked over to Shinji and he immediately dropped his gaze. His voice was the next to break the silence and Asuka maintained her focus on his eyes.

"I wanted to hurt you," Shinji admitted ashamedly. "Nearly everyone I truly cared about hurt me and as I listened to you doing the same, I just wanted you to feel some of my pain too. Even after all that you said I still hated myself for saying that. It was practically wishing you dead, I deserved to be punched," Shinji didn't look up as his voice trailed off. Asuka continued to hold him in her gaze for a few moments before she looked away.

"You did hurt me and I knew I hurt you but at the time it didn't matter," Asuka started but Shinji gazed out to the horizon without looking at her. "I collapsed on my bed and eventually passed out. It was a restless sleep full of bad dreams and when I woke up the full reality of what I did started to sink in. When I found your room empty and the photo face down. I realised I'd pushed you away and you'd left me just like everybody else who cared." They descended into a contemplative silence, neither of them knowing what to say next.

"We never wanted to hurt each other but in the end we both did what the other feared the most. You hurt me and I left you," Shinji let his comment rerun through his mind. He didn't know what to say next because it would be about what they were going to do, something he didn't want to make a mistake with.

"I guess it's time to make a few promises," Asuka hesitantly spoke as she turned her face towards him.

"Is that a good idea considering we've already broken a couple of promises," Shinji quietly responded a small hint of dread appearing in his stomach. Shinji slowly turned to face Asuka and noticed her scrutinising him.

"You broke a couple of yours but that was inevitable since you could never keep them all. I never made any promises to you," her last statement was tinged with a little regret.

"So what stopping us from breaking them again?" Shinji fatalistically asked drawing the ire of Asuka.

"Don't be so negative," she chided and Shinji nodded slowly in agreement. "So if you promise not to run away…" Asuka began but allowed Shinji to cut in.

"…And you promise that whatever happens while piloting won't affect our relationship," Shinji could see Asuka hesitate for a moment. Asuka shook her head to clear the negative thoughts that were trying to make her believe she shouldn't trust him. She stood up straight and faced Shinji who copied her movements so that they were standing face to face.

"It's a deal," Asuka proclaimed sticking out her hand that Shinji tentatively shook. "Just don't expect to be the number one pilot for long," Asuka slyly added as neither of them broke the handshake. 

"You're still the best pilot, after all you've been piloting for years and I've only been piloting for months. Just having the best synch score doesn't make me the best pilot," Shinji's modest voice was meet with a mixture of appreciation and frustration. She appreciated the compliment but was frustrated that he still undervalued his skill and potential.

"I thought I told you not to be so negative," Asuka released his hand and flicked his forehead with her finger. Shinji let out a small, surprised yelp and rubbed the sore area. As he opened his eyes to look back at Asuka with a scornful stare he saw that she was already closing the distance between them. Asuka's arms smoothly slid around his body and she rested her head on his shoulder. A contented sigh escaped her lips as Shinji's hands pressed against her shoulders pulling her closer. They remained silent, reassured by a closeness that they permitted to no one else and a fulfilling of the desire not to be alone.

"What are you thinking about?" Asuka's murmured question was one that Shinji was a little reluctant in answering.

"Something Rei told me," Shinji's belated reply was followed by a wave of tension flowing through Asuka's body. Shinji felt Asuka's hold on him tighten slightly but she made no other movements. Shinji became slightly worried, as Asuka didn't make any other attempts to start a conversation. 

"She said that we share a unique bond that should be cherished. She suggested that our souls compliment each other, which is why we were so comfortable being close to each other." Unbeknownst to Shinji, Asuka smiled as she snuggled closer to him. She felt the warm rush as he blushed with the intimate contact and moved her head so that she could whisper into his ear.

"Seems your not quite comfortable being close," her sultry whisper added to his discomfort but now he could see her mischievous smile. He leaned back, at first distracted but then his eyes hardened with determination. Before Asuka could protest, Shinji bowed his head and lowered it to the nape of her neck. His lips lightly brushed her skin, the sensation heightened as his warm breath dried any moisture producing a contrast of cool and warm. Asuka's blush started to intensify exponentially as she noticed Shinji's hand making lazy circles on her back as it slowly descended. 

"Apparently I'm not the only one who's uncomfortable," Shinji whispered into her ear as his hand stopped at her lower back.

"Such a boring little boy," Asuka's words came out as a breathless murmur. Shinji was about to lean back so that Asuka could see his triumphant smirk but he was surprised by a soft jab to his stomach. Free from Shinji's hold she moved to the rail, hiding her blushing face by staring out to the surroundings. Shinji looked at her feeling a little confused by she glanced over her shoulder and showed him a genuine smile of affection. He joined her against the rail and they stood side by side looking out at the rather dull derelict buildings.

"Soul mates," Asuka mumbled and then she looked into Shinji's puzzled face. "If we have complimenting souls, then we'd be considered soul mates. We are like the two sides of a coin, we're opposites but we've been through the same things. Even though we act differently we have had similar experiences which is why we can understand each other." Asuka allowed Shinji time to consider her analogy because his face showed some bewilderment.

"So which are you, heads or tails?" Asuka gave Shinji an exasperated look but she could tell by his face that he was only joking.

"With a face like mine I'd definitely be heads," Asuka proudly proclaimed as she stood tall with a dazzling smile.

"Well it's not like your tail is unattractive," Shinji's weak mumbled comment was clearly heard by Asuka. She gave him a severe glare that made him nervous and gulp in fear.

"I could say the same about you," Asuka couldn't contain her laughter as Shinji looked confused and embarrassed. As she laughed, Shinji relaxed joining her in the good-natured chuckle. They stopped when they heard a voice floating up from a few floors below them. Looking over the railing they could catch the occasional glimpse of Misato as she spoke on her mobile. They were able to recognise a few words including Ritsuko, urgent and synch test.

"We should probably go back down stairs," Asuka didn't react to Shinji suggestion and instead continued to look down. "Let's go before Misato panics," Shinji took Asuka's hand and she reluctantly followed him as he led her down the stairs.

"What could she possibly do?" Asuka asked rhetorically and Shinji sighed tiredly.

"She could stop us from going to dinner tomorrow," Shinji's suggestion put some urgency into Asuka's movement.

"Hurry up, I'm not going to have anyone stop me from having the perfect romantic evening. Not Misato, not Ritsuko, not even Commander Ikari," they continued around the corner but stopped as they were confronted by Misato. Misato looked at each of them and then to where their hands were joined.

"So it looks like you two figured things out," Misato keenly observed but neither of them responded. "So what's this about a romantic evening?" Misato probed immediately activating Asuka's defences.

"That's no of your business," Asuka declared, defiantly folding her arms and glaring at Misato.

"Oh so it doesn't have anything to do with theTokyo-3 Skylight Bistro?" Misato smiled deviously as Asuka looked back aghast.

"How did…" Asuka's question ended quickly as Misato cut her off as she walked past them and down the stairs.

"Shinji left his cell phone behind and the restaurant called to confirm the reservations for three." Misato didn't need to look back to know that both her wards were looking at her with confused faces.

"Misato I only made reservations for two," Shinji spoke quietly, as if to reassure himself that was what he had done.

"I know but I wasn't about to stay home alone while you two went to the best restaurant in Tokyo-3. You have five minutes and synch tests instead of school tomorrow morning, I'll be in the car." Misato disappeared from sight leaving the two dumbstruck teenagers on the stairs.

"We are going to get her back if it is the last thing we do," Asuka's menacing growl was enough to discourage Shinji from asking what she meant by 'we'. Instead he walked back to Rei's apartment to collect his things while Asuka trailed behind him cursing under her breath. Like it or not, Shinji realised that his first date was going to be unlike anything Misato had told him. However the thought of asking Kaji for help also sparked a small plan of revenge.

**Additional Notes:** I'm not too confident about this chapter but that could be said about everything that I write. Anyway I hope you like it and remember that comments are welcome in any form. There are probably only two chapters left since I won't be writing about any angel attacks but there may be an epilogue of some sort after that. What form it will take is yet to be decided, i.e. how much of the story (movie included) will change and when it happens (just after or several years later) but I'll figure that out later. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Well I didn't get any Eva merchandise but the stuff I did get was still cool and so I still don't own anything EVA related.

**Author's notes:** Well it took me a little longer than anticipated because of my apathy and being really busy. I hope to have the next and probably final chapter out in about the same amount of time but the epilogue may not be so forth coming. No matter but remember to let me know your opinions if you care enough to have any.

Shinji's Lullaby

Chapter 6

Shinji was glad that he got home in time for a shower considering there were only a few hours before his first official date. What wasn't so encouraging was the fact that his two roommates were still missing and hadn't been seen since they went shopping straight after school. It had turned into an all girl outing after Asuka asked Hikari to go and Misato asked Rei. Rei went mostly because she couldn't understand why they needed new dresses when their old clothes were sufficient. Her calm presence seemed out of place with the other two girls and the major, who all appeared genuinely excited.

While they were off enjoying themselves, Shinji was left with the job of doing the dirty work. Barely five minutes after Misato's car had disappeared, Kaji's came screeching around the corner. True it had been his idea to contact Kaji about Misato imposing herself on their date. Unfortunately he didn't have Kaji's phone number and had to ask Asuka for it and she wanted to know why. When she found out, she turned his simple idea of asking Kaji to join the to act as a buffer between them and Misato, into an overly complicated military type operation.

Shinji was to meet Kaji after school and give him a list of thing he should and shouldn't do so that he could endear himself to Misato. What Shinji hadn't anticipated was Kaji's sports car and his willingness to take Kensuke's advice and take them on a joyride around Tokyo-3. Shinji was glad that he had been able to pass on the note and a few last minute messages from Asuka. Kaji shared Shinji's concern that Asuka was over thinking the situation but Shinji hadn't divulged the first objective.

Even though he met Kaji first, the first objective was to intimidate Misato into a withdrawal with the threat of Kaji's presence. That way they could be alone at the restaurant while Misato stayed home and away from them. If that should fail then Kaji would also be there and hopefully be a distraction for Misato to stop her interfering in their date. Shinji knew that it could also backfire on them and Kaji may prove the catalyst for something Misato might do. Not that it was his greatest concern since Asuka had given him a script to provoke Misato into either not going or accepting Kaji's presence.

Shinji exited the bathroom wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and grabbed himself a drink as he moved to the back of the couch. Sitting on it was Toji and Kensuke as they watched Kensuke's video of the dance. Shinji had to cringe as he saw himself dancing with one of his classmates. It wasn't that she was a bad person or that he wasn't mildly enjoying himself but the expressions of awe that were emanating from Toji. Shinji thought it best that he slip away before he was noticed and he turned around ready to leave when Toji spoke.

"He danced with all those girls and he chose the demon instead?" Toji's question was to no one in particular and Shinji had to silence his sigh of relief. 

"Well considering he never danced with a girl for more than five minutes before being interrupted by another guy, it's not surprising. None of them seemed really interested in him but that still doesn't explain why he choose Asuka." Toji turned his head slight to the side to view Kensuke but didn't notice Shinji behind them. 

"Not to mention why she chose him but I'll never understand a demon like her," Toji dismissively waved his hand at Asuka's room as if it would rid thoughts of her from his mind.

"Not that we want to understand a mind as twisted as hers," Kensuke pushed up his glasses as Toji nodded his agreement. "However I will admit that she has a positive influence on him," Kensuke closed his eyes almost in disbelief that he actually said that.

"I'll agree to that but I'm not going to admit it to him and definitely not to her," Toji looked at Kensuke and they shared a knowing smile. Shinji was also smiling and he decided that he should make his presence known.

"So we all agree not to tell Asuka, not that she'd believe me if I did," Shinji's two friends whirled around to look at him as he stood over them with a smug smile.

"You know it's rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations," Kensuke looked accusingly up at Shinji.

"This coming from the amateur spy who spends all day listening to other people's discussions," Shinji's enjoyment of Kensuke's squirming lasted only until Toji opened his mouth.

"But we're you're friends, you not suppose to spy on us," Toji pleaded as he stood up and faced Shinji.

"And you're my friends, so you shouldn't be keeping secrets from me," Shinji cut back leaving his tall friend speechless.

"What secrets?" the three boys looked straight as Asuka with none of them hearing her enter the apartment. Hikari stood next to her and behind them they could hear Misato and Rei approaching.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," Shinji admitted and Asuka fixed a curious stare on him. However before she could speak Misato brushed past her with Rei in tow.

"So what do you think?" Misato announced as she presented Rei to the three boys. The three of them looked at her blankly as she stared back looking a little uncomfortable. Shinji quickly assessed what could be different with Rei but her hair, clothes and shoes all seemed to be what she usually wore. Behind him, Shinji could hear the equally stupefied murmurs of his two friends as they also tried to figure it out.

"I told you they wouldn't notice," Asuka proclaimed to Misato as they both became impatient. Shinji looked at both of them and then back to Rei. He blinked twice before leaning forward slightly and taking a closer look, an action that appeared to escalate Rei's discomfort.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Shinji cautiously spoke and Rei seemed relived that he had guessed correctly.

"Congratulations, we have a winner," cheered Misato, startling both Shinji and Rei.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Asuka fumed slightly since all the attention, more importantly, Shinji's attention was on Rei.

"Because they make such a cute couple. See for yourself," Misato pointed at the TV. The video had come to the point where Shinji was teaching Rei how to dance. While most of the room hadn't seen it before, Asuka had and quickly latched onto Shinji's arm.

"He's mine Wondergirl, find your own man," Asuka defensively growled at Rei who was unfazed by her claim.

"I had no intention of making Shinji my own," Rei stated flatly but Asuka maintained her fierce glare.

"Well if we're going to be ready on time I should take you guys home now," Misato's comment interrupted Asuka's one-sided staring contest. Hikari and Rei had left their stuff in Misato's car, so they had to wait for Toji and Kensuke to gather their belongings. Asuka pulled Shinji aside as she moved into the kitchen.

"Do it now," she urged as she released him and then moved to the fridge to fetch herself a drink.

"Do what now?" inquired Misato after over hearing Asuka's hushed comment. Shinji swallowed nervously as Misato and Asuka watched him closely.

"It's nothing Misato," Shinji hesitantly spoke and saw that Asuka was wondering what he was doing. "You'd better leave now, otherwise you won't be ready when Kaji gets here at six thirty." Misato had dismissed Shinji's statement until she heard him mention Kaji. She looked inquisitively at him and it was obvious he was trying to act casual even though he was nervous about something.

"Why would Kaji be coming here at six thirty?" Misato kept Shinji in her sights with a scrutinising gaze but Asuka answered.

"To get us to the restaurant on time of course," Asuka condescendingly chastised Misato and Misato became even more perplexed.

"Why would he be taking us to the restaurant?" Misato asked and Asuka scowled at how dense she was acting.

"Because I… invited… him to… join us," Shinji replied in a small voice, immediately turning around to the sink. He pretended to reorder the perfectly ordered kitchen as the realisation of what he said sunk in.

"And why is he invited?" Misato's voice had hardened and she shifted her glare between Shinji's back and Asuka's calm face.

"You don't want to be seen alone as the third wheel on a teenagers date, do you?" Asuka sceptically asked but Misato solely focused her attention on Shinji. He tried not to make it obvious as he swallowed hard being fully aware of the flaws in the next comment that Asuka had given him.

"Asuka is right, I mean a thirty year old woman and with a couple of fourteen year olds is kind of… sad," Shinji gulped again as he noticed Misato's eyebrow twitch. She leaned forward so that her face was within inches of his and she appeared to be restraining herself from grasping his collar.

"You know perfectly well I'm twenty nine," Misato's forceful whisper backed Shinji up against the sink. As Misato enjoyed watching Shinji squirm she caught a glimpse of the smirking Asuka to one side.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you are crashing the date of a couple that are only half your age," Asuka interjected as she moved alongside Shinji. As Asuka expected, Shinji seemed to become a little sturdier when she stood next to him.

"Or the fact you failed to inform me that he was invited," Misato countered quickly but Asuka wasn't put off.

"At least he had the decency to wait for an invitation rather than inviting himself," Asuka allowed her volume to increase as her anger escalated. Shinji realised that whatever game plan they had about staying cool and conning Misato into backing down had gone out the window.

"There is nothing decent about that man and I'm sure if he'd known that I'd be there, he would have been there as well." Misato matched Asuka's voice but had an underlying strength that came from experience.

"He's not the only one who's indecent and he wouldn't be there if you didn't go, so stay home." Asuka's declaration felt like an insult to Misato even though she knew within herself that she shouldn't be imposing herself on them. As Misato moved to make her retort, which was going to be a strategic retreat, she noticed a small glimmer of hope in Shinji's eyes. Realising they were trying to make her stay home sparked a pang of regret in her actions but it didn't stop her from her original course.

"I get it," she quietly proclaimed, "You're trying to get me to say that I'm not going to go with you. Well I call your bluff, like it or not I'll be dining with you this evening." Misato didn't wait for their reactions and ushered the other children out the door. 

"What just happened?" Asuka asked her gaze still fixed on the closed front door.

"I think she thinks that we were bluffing and didn't really invite Kaji," Shinji offered and watched as Asuka balled her fists in anger.

"I hate it when people don't take me seriously," Shinji just watched her, still a little apprehensive about intervening after what happened last time. Slowly he took her wrist and coaxed her hand into relaxing so that he could intertwine his fingers with hers. 

"Don't worry about it, she'll know we weren't bluffing when Kaji gets here later," Shinji's weak effort at support was meet by a dubious glance from Asuka. Without warning she wrapped her arms around him and snuggle her face into his shoulder.

"Much better," Asuka whispered in a soothing voice as Shinji tentatively returned the embrace. Since the day before moments like this had been rare with both of them being overly cautious. 

"You know if we stay like this we're going to be late," Shinji almost laughed as Asuka groaned in protest. The reason he didn't was that instead of pulling away, Asuka tightened her grip and pressed herself closer to him.

"Aren't you worried about what Misato might do?" Asuka bit her lip after asking. She knew that she only did so because he seemed too calm about the situation. Somewhere in the back of her mind she couldn't shake the fear that he wanted Misato there. So she asked the question, which he was painstakingly slow to answer.

"Actually I think I'd be a lot more nervous if I knew we were going to be alone," Shinji's admission sent a wave of uncertainty through Asuka's body.

"You don't want to be alone with me?" Asuka quietly asked trying to pull away but Shinji continued to hold her close.

"It's not being alone with you, it's being alone with you in public. I'm not comfortable around lots of people I don't know," Shinji continued to hold her close even though she was trying to lean away. Upon hearing his answer she relented and remained in his arms.

"You need to relax a little more," came Asuka's reply and Shinji felt the tension flow out of his system. As Shinji let himself relax into her embrace, the quiet moment was broken as a hungry penguin wanting to be fed decided to peck at Shinji's leg. Shinji scowled down at Pen-Pen but the bird either didn't understand or didn't care what the boy thought. He only wanted food and he wanted it now. Asuka was slightly amused by Shinji's reaction to the interruption and more so by the continuing staring match between the two.

Not willing to wait she drew Shinji's attention by blowing gently on his face. When he turned to her, their faces were within inches of each other. Shinji didn't pull away but he was surprised, especially when she pressed her lips to his. Shinji hesitated as Asuka kissed him but slowly regained enough composure to kiss her back. Having received a response, which was all she wanted, Asuka pulled away leaving Shinji slightly befuddled. 

"The red bag is yours, make sure you wear it," Asuka spoke as she collected her shopping and dropped it in her room. She then passed the dazed but thoughtful Shinji as she headed for the bathroom.

"The kiss wasn't that good," Asuka comment as she stood in the bathroom door looking at Shinji's back.

"It's just the first kiss since our fight the other day," Shinji's quiet statement provoked Asuka into thinking about it a little more. It didn't take her long to figure out that he was right but she didn't see the significance. As they both pondered that thought, Pen-Pen had decided that he was too hungry to be ignored any longer. He went to his final resort, one that would have had him kicked like a football through the nearest window if he had tried it on either of his female roommates.

Pen-Pen bit Shinji's leg and at the same time twisted his beak, eliciting a yelp of pain from Shinji. Shinji stumbled over to the couch to attend his sore calf. Pen-Pen waited for Shinji to meekly admit his error and feed him as the usually submissive boy always did. Unfortunately the flightless bird's focus on Shinji meant that he was unaware of Asuka lining him up for a punt out the balcony door.

The colour had been familiar but he hadn't been able to place it until he looked into a mirror to adjust his tie. Shinji tightened the dark blue silk tie around his neck, letting his fingers glide over the silk once he was done. The silk shimmered in the light as it swayed with his movements. He slipped his arms into the vest that matched the colour of his tie and his eyes. They were both in the red bag that Asuka had given him and Asuka had told him that they matched the colour of her dress. Shinji looked once more in the mirror, making sure his tie and vest as well as his white shirt and black pants were all presentable.

He looked at his watch and was relieved to see that there was still time before Kaji was expected to arrive. He slipped on his jacket as he entered the kitchen and wasn't surprised to find no one else was ready. As Shinji rounded the table he spotted Pen-Pen looking up at the highest shelf. The bird paid him little attention as Shinji walked around him and into the living room. Looking back he could still see Pen-Pen trying to figure out how he was going to get the TV remote down from the shelf. 

Shinji was surprised that he had been able to walk so quickly after getting kicked across the room and crashing the glass door. The placement of the remote had been Misato's idea after she saw the welt that was on Shinji's calf. However the penguin was not discouraged easily and had been staring up at that shelf even since the remote was deposited there. Shinji shook his head and looked away from the bird when he realised it was doing nothing to alleviate his growing anxiety. Another brief look at his watch told him that he was thinking too much because time had appeared to slow down.

The sound of an opening door immediately drew Shinji's attention and his eyes locked on to Asuka as she stepped into the hallway. Asuka froze in place with a slight blush on her cheeks as she realised that Shinji was staring at her. She smiled to herself as she remembered how she always called him perverted. However his eyes hadn't strayed from her face since she entered the room. Asuka took a couple of paces towards him and the slowly twirled so that Shinji could appraise her completely. The midnight blue dress hugged her body reaching down to her ankles and cut low along her back, allowing a hint of creamy skin to show through her cascading auburn hair.

"So… like what you see?" Asuka purred as he gaze returned to Shinji. Shinji appeared to have lost his voice, mouthing adjectives but no sound could be heard. As Asuka moved closer to him she could hear him swallow hard as he attempted to clear his throat so that he could voice his opinion.

"Stunning… absolutely stunning… you look very… elegant," Shinji had intended to go on but his mouth went dry again. Asuka leaned closer, clearly pleased with his response as she examined the colour and pattern of his irises. Shinji couldn't say that he felt drawn to her but he did feel compelled to lean forward. His action surprised Asuka but she held the gentle kiss, their lips being the only point of physical contact between them. She had to forcibly hold her hands behind her back as she slowly moved her mouth closer to his ear. Their cheeks remained in contact but both children were having a hard time restraining their hands from holding onto the other.

"Thank you," Asuka breathlessly whispered into his ear as she broke contact and leaned back. "Now hold this," Asuka handed Shinji a ribbon the colour of her dress. Shinji watched as Asuka raked her hand through her hair, gathering it together in preparation for it to be tied back. As closely as Shinji had been watching Asuka, he hadn't noticed that she hadn't been wearing her customary headset.

"Now tie it in a bow," Asuka commanded as she abruptly turned her back to him. Asuka was holding back her hair that would normally be held back by her headset as she waited for Shinji to tie it in place.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" Shinji heard Asuka sigh in frustration at his timid question.

"Yes, I'm positive, so do it and make sure that it's tied tightly," Asuka waited a few moments before she felt Shinji's hands tentatively begin. She could hear the sound of the fabric as it was tightened into a bow and also felt the occasional touch of Shinji's hands on hers.

"Done," he simple stated and Asuka let her hands relax by her sides. She felt Shinji's hands slowly descending from her head, gently combing her hair. Occasionally his fingers reached right through the curtain of her hair and grazed along the exposed skin of her back.

"Don't you two just make the perfect couple," Misato sardonically commented. She had been in a bad mood since she had returned after both Toji and Kensuke told her that Shinji had spent part of the afternoon with Kaji. She was just as angry with herself for not remembering that when Shinji was intimidated, everything he said appeared to be a lie but it rarely was. 

"We make a great couple Misato so don't get all patronizing because we weren't bluffing," Asuka chided Misato. Misato tried to calm herself down after noticing that Shinji wasn't happy with how things were going. They had spoken while Asuka was in the shower and Shinji conceded that he didn't mind her being there as long as she didn't cause trouble. Misato hadn't made any promises and she already felt the disquiet that had been bothering her since she first saw them together. 

"Whatever, let's just go," Misato's dismissive attitude infuriated Asuka but Shinji tried to keep her calm. The last thing Misato wanted was to spend time anywhere near Kaji. He knew how to wind her up to the point where she'd confess something she didn't want to. She had enigmatic feelings that she needed to figure out. She knew that Shinji and Asuka should be left alone but she also found that idea unsettling. She knew that she was causing problems but she couldn't help herself. All this considered Misato knew that given enough time Kaji would see right through her and to the heart of her problem.

"We're waiting for Kaji, Misato," Asuka groaned but Misato didn't respond. She was too busy thinking about herself that she automatically collected her purse and keys and started to walk out the door. She wanted to solve her problems before she completely alienated Shinji but she didn't want Kaji to do it. She was startled out of her thoughts as she opened the door to find an equally stunned Kaji reaching for the doorbell. They both quickly let their faces become neutral as they stood staring at each other.

"Katsuragi," Kaji's greeting wasn't followed by the expected comment about her appearance. 

"Finally," huffed Asuka from inside the apartment and the young couple were soon by Misato's side ready to exit.

"So shall we go then," Kaji stepped aside so that Asuka and Shinji could pass hand in hand. Misato went to follow them but stopped when she got close enough to Kaji to confirm her suspicion. 

"You shaved and your tie is straight, I guess Shinji and Asuka have been telling you what to do." Misato had waited until Asuka and Shinji were far enough away that they wouldn't here what was said.

"Personally I think it was unnecessary but since it is their date I thought I'd do what they wanted. Of course I'd prefer if you decided to stay home and let them be," Kaji had spoken casually but he was deadly serious. 

"I'm not doing anything of the sort. I've been looking forward to seeing what this restaurant is all about," Misato turned and walked toward the impatient Asuka with Shinji out of sight holding the elevator.

"If that's what you want to do but I don't think you're going to like how this night turns out," Misato gave Kaji a suspicious glance but Kaji didn't say anymore. The silence remained for the entire journey to the Tokyo-3 Skylight Bistro.

They exited the elevator and entered the small lobby that seemed a little confined. The man waiting at the desk immediately recognised Shinji but seemed a little surprise by his date. Polite as always he hid his emotions well and looked over the two adults in the group. His gaze hovered on Misato but he looked away as he noticed a fierce glare from Kaji, warning him to banish his lecherous thoughts. He summoned a hostess to take them to their table and they followed her through the double doors. The manger check off Shinji's reservation but noted a name below it that would demand his attention.

Inside the restaurant the four NERV employees were taken aback by the change from the lobby to the restaurant. The lobby was hidden along with the kitchen behind the single wall that was not made of glass. The remaining three walls and ceiling were all glass that appeared to be almost seamless. To their right against the wall that was not glass, was the stage that held the medium sized orchestral band. In front of that there was a polished marble dance floor. Around the dance floor was a higher level of dining tables where the majority of patrons were seated.

The hostess led them passed those tables to the higher level of booths that lined the glass walls. They offered the best view of the scenery outside and the restaurant. The booths were separated by low walls that were topped with fresh, fragrant flowers that kept the area smelling of perfume despite the odours of food and smoke being prevalent. The hostess led them to a booth that was close to the corner on the opposite side of the room to the lobby. Shinji allowed Asuka to sit but before he could sit next to her, Misato nearly bulldozed him to the opposite of the table.

Misato ignored the disgruntled glance from Shinji and didn't pay attention to the fuming Asuka as she sat next to Shinji. Kaji smiled apologetically at the hostess who politely ignored Misato's actions. Kaji sat down at the remaining place next to Asuka and the hostess handed out the menus. 

"I'll be back in a few minutes to take your orders, would you like any drinks in the meantime," the hostesses voice was soothing and calm as she continually smiled.

"Do you have any beer?" Misato asked after she noticed that the drinks menu only listed wines, champagnes and non-alcoholic drinks.

"We only serve what is on the menu to tables. If you would like something else you will have to go to the bar. Just give them the name you made your reservation under and they will add the cost to your bill," Misato looked past the hostess to the bar located on the opposite side of the stage from the entrance.

"Orange juice," Shinji announced first.

"Lemonade," Asuka added a moment after Shinji.

"That'll be all for now," Kaji declared as the hostess completed her notes. She bowed and moved away as Kaji looked from Misato to the bar. She had been fixated on a row of bottles that appeared to be imported beers.

"Stop drooling Misato, it's only beer," Asuka didn't flinch under Misato's annoyed glare.

"Now, now, calm down. I'm going to get a drink, is there anything you want?" Kaji stood as Misato glanced from him to the well stocked bar.

"Just one of the imported beers," Kaji nodded at her response and made his way to the bar. Misato felt her eyebrow twitched slightly as he smiled at several women on the way. They all made different responses but they were all flattered by his attention.

"We need to talk," Asuka forcefully stated as she slipped out of her seat. Misato wanted to protest but it was obvious Asuka didn't want to make a scene. Misato shrugged her shoulders as she stood and followed Asuka towards the bathroom. Shinji relaxed a little now that he was alone and took the time to admire the view. He tried not to look too surprised as the hostess returned with the drinks, place one in front of Shinji and the other in front of the seat next to him.

"Thank you," Shinji's meek voice was accompanied by a short bow. The hostess smiled back at him before leaving to attend another table as Kaji returned to the table. He slipped into the seat that Asuka had occupied and placed down the two imported beers and their accompanying bottles. 

"Don't complain about something that might work in your favour," Kaji pre-empted Shinji's attempt to point out Kaji's apparent mistake. Kaji left one of the beers in front of the seat next to him while he held onto the other one. Shinji noted how the drinks had been set up so that Asuka would be next to him and looked expectantly to where she would appear. A curious Kaji followed his gaze to see Misato emerge first with Asuka trailing a little behind her. 

Misato noticed that Kaji was watching and slowed her pace so that she could flirt with several men as she passed. Asuka didn't hesitate as she realised that her opportunity had come. She moved swiftly but gracefully ahead of the distracted Misato and towards the table. Misato only noticed the change as she arrived a few seconds later than Asuka but she portrayed no emotion as she sat next to her former lover. She glances across the table to the two happier teens, which unbeknownst to her had used the cover of the table to link hands.

"How's the beer?" Kaji asked in an attempt to start some light conversation while they pondered their choice of meals.

"Fine," Misato grunted back after taking her first sip. She continually shifted her gaze between the two teens and even though they were going over their shared menu.

"Could yo stop staring Misato?" Shinji mumbled without looking up from his examination of the menu. Misato lost her opportunity to comment as the hostess returned for their orders.

"What would you like?" she announced a little too cheerfully for Misato.

"Could we both have the lobster?" Asuka asked, speaking on behalf of Shinji.

"And the entrée?" the hostess asked as she noted down the details. Asuka prompted Shinji with a nudge of her elbow and he quickly looked over the menu again.

"Ah… the creamy pumpkin soup," he replied a little uncertainly.

"Okay two pumpkin soups," the hostess glanced up to Misato but she was still perusing the menu.

"The shrimp for the entrée and the salmon," Kaji spoke up after a few moments of silence. The hostess nodded as she wrote his order down.

"I'll have the soup as well and the spicy chicken fillets," Misato gathered up the menus and waited for the hostess to finish making her notes.

"And dessert?" she inquired as she took the menus from Misato.

"Can we order after we've eaten?" Misato asked as the hostess reordered the menus.

"Sure," the hostess quickly turned and walked away leaving the group in silence once again.

"I wasn't staring," Misato declared after a few moments of uncomfortable quiet. 

"Yeah, whatever," Asuka dismissively commented, clearly not interested in anything the older woman had to say.

"I wasn't staring," Misato reiterated with a little more force in her voice. "I was waiting for you two to leave your happy little world and start a conversation," Misato seemed unperturbed as Asuka obviously tensed up. 

"Kaji is sitting right next to you, talk to him," Asuka tried not to raise her voice in frustration but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

"I'd rather try to start a conversation with Commander Ikari," Misato dryly responded. As Misato paused to sip her drink, Asuka prepared for her retort. She was stopped by Shinji gently nudging her away from the table in the direction of the dance floor. She wanted to stop him but a look at his determined face reminded her she had promised not to lose her temper.

"Why don't we dance for a little while?" Shinji's suggestion was met with a hesitant pause from Asuka. She knew he wasn't the most confident of people but he had asked her to dance even though the dance floor was empty. Smiling she nearly pulled him out of his seat and towards the dance floor. Misato watched quietly, both out of curiosity and as a reason to ignore Kaji.

"So how was your shopping trip this afternoon?" Kaji's innocuous question was countered by an uninterested glance by Misato.

"Fine," she grunted again as she finished her first drink.

"Talkative, aren't we," Kaji didn't heed Misato's warning stare as he continued to speak. "I mean you sure have plenty of words for Asuka. Pity the only one who seems to be suffering is Shinji," Kaji finished his own beer as Misato stared at him.

"He seems fine to me," Misato pointed out as she looked at Shinji and Asuka out on the dance floor. They were oblivious to their surroundings and appeared content to talk and joke as they danced on the otherwise empty dance floor. 

"He is now that he doesn't have to guard against you setting off Asuka's temper. Besides even after all that's happened, would you really believe Shinji asking Asuka to dance when the floor was empty and everyone's attention will be on them?" Misato listen to Kaji while she watched Asuka giggling because Shinji's hand strayed from her waist to the bare skin of her back. She let her eyes wander and viewed the other tables around the room. They were all at least ten years older than the two teens but their focus inevitably fell on them.

They continued to dance without bothering about what was going on around them. Misato could see that Shinji was purely focused on Asuka and Asuka appeared almost shy under his constant attention. Slowly the other couples made their way to the dance floor as most of the women, envious of the young couple, decided they wanted similar attention from their dates. Misato started to realise that they weren't the only ones jealous of their interaction.

"No matter how timid Shinji acts and how defensive Asuka can be, they both look completely natural right now," Misato nodded at Kaji's astute observation. "It's a shame you are intent on interfering in it," Kaji's added remark made Misato's fist tightly clench her empty glass.

"I'm just making sure that they survive," Misato growled through clenched teeth.

"Is that as a guardian or a commanding officer?" Kaji continued to act in his usual casual manner, which infuriated Misato more.

"Both," was her curt reply as she stared hard at the unwavering man.

"Well you are failing as a guardian," Kaji offhandedly countered, waiting to be asked before going into detail.

"How so?" Misato hesitantly asked as she wondered what exactly he knew.

"Well for one thing, the fact that Shinji asked me to help deal with you. Of course being here in the first place is probably enough," Kaji watched Misato push her glass away before it broke in her grip.

"Does that really mean anything?" Misao's question surprised Kaji especially since it was a virtual denial.

"You sit here baiting Asuka and having Shinji try to keep her calm at a date you invited yourself to. Is any of this registering as interference in their relationship?" Misato new he had a point but she was far from conceding to him.

"Look Asuka needs to be taken down a peg or two for her own benefit," Misato answered quickly but Kaji's reply was just as fast.

"And Shinji? I suppose he needed a confidence boost so you went easy on him?" Misato coolly examined Kaji after his answer.

"It hasn't hurt," Misato kept her comment brief not wanting to give him any more ammunition.

"You know Shinji is trying to keep a fine balance between you and Asuka but it's a lot harder when you seem to be favouring him over Asuka. If things get out of hand, he would chose her over you and if she finally loses faith in Eva, they would probably both vanish from Tokyo-3." Kaji watched Misato's eyes but she had always been good at concealing things from him unless he got her to speak without thinking.

"I don't think you can really give me advice on how to treat them," Misato snidely remarked but Kaji smiled back at her.

"I'm not here to give you advice. I'm just telling you what I understand from talking to Shinji. Your actions are more those of a commanding officer and not a guardian. That is how I see things anyway," in truth Kaji had been making sure he got copies of the reports on all of their activities and he knew more than he let on. He didn't want Misato to know that he was checking up on her and not just the children.

"That's your opinion but I'm sure you can understand why I'm not going to listen to your views about how I treat my children." Kaji blinked and he was glad that Misato was again watching the dance floor rather than his blank face.

"Could you repeat that?" Kaji sheepishly asked since he wasn't sure he heard her right and he thought that she didn't realise exactly what she had said.

"I said, don't tell me how to treat… my… children," Misato stumbled over her words as she realised what she was saying. However it was an astounding revelation as the emotions attached to the simple statement reached far beyond what she had previously believed.

"Are you still with me?" Kaji waved his hand in front of her face as she finally snapped out of her trance like state. She looked at him for a few seconds before rising out of her seat.

"I hate it when you do that… but… thanks," Kaji was only just able to make out her mumbled statement before she headed straight for the bar. Kaji didn't follow straight away but was glad that Asuka and Shinji were oblivious to the recent turn of events. After watching Misato down two different imported beers and draw the attention of several men, Kaji decided to try and resolve the matter. Asuka wouldn't have minded if Misato stayed where she was but Shinji would worry about her and it would probably contribute to ruining the date. Besides he was curious as to what self-discovery she had made. As Kaji crossed the room he was unaware of a third familiar couple that had decided to dine at the same restaurant.

Commander Ikari was well aware of the essence of chaos theory and how little differences could grow exponentially over time. In the past week he had been informed of several changes in the behaviour of the First Child but this had been his first opportunity to witness them himself. They had come to this restaurant several times and it was his intention to gauge Rei's actions against previous visits here. So far they had only just sat down and she there was already a noticeable difference.

The first thing had been before she had even stepped in the car for the ride to the restaurant. Rei was always on time, to the very second but that night she had been thirty two seconds late. Being early or late was unheard when it concerned Rei. She would always reach the curb at the designated time, whether the car was there or not. Gendou didn't acknowledge that she was late and he continued to act as he normally did. He kept his eyes forward and asked simple questions that were answered briefly. Within five minutes they were both silent as the driver weaved his way through the streets to their destination.

Arriving outside the restaurant they exited from opposite sides of the car. Gendou had been on the driver's side of the car and had to wait until it had moved out of the way. As he turned to follow Rei up to entrance he noticed that she was not wearing her school uniform. She wore a long black skirt and a white long sleeve blouse. It wasn't anything exceptional but Rei wearing something new was always an exception. Gendou dismissed it considering he had already read the report on the school dance, which described what she wore and why.

He continued to walk behind Rei as she reached the elevator and pushed the button. This was the first time that he noticed that she seemed to be waiting for something from him. As always, Rei entered the elevator first, turning to face the doors as Gendou moved alongside her. He did spare her a brief glance before he faced the door and waited for it to reach its destination. Through the tinted glass of his glasses he was able to detect some sort of discolouration on her face. A second cursory glance from the corner of his eye where his glasses didn't reach and he could see the faint hint of make up.

Gendou noted that her appearance had changed but so far her behaviour had not. They continued their silent ride up to the top floor and were greeted at the door by the manager of the restaurant. He took personal care of them whenever they visited because he couldn't trust his staff to maintain their self-control around them. He guided them to their usual seat, a booth in the back corner of the room. However unlike every other time where Rei preferred to face the window, this time she sat so that she was looking into the restaurant. Neither Gendou nor the manager changed their behaviour despite Rei's change in routine.

Gendou had told the manager they would have the usual but Rei surprised the manager by asking for a menu. Not expecting such a request, the manager had to leave to retrieve one. Gendou had been reviewing the previous occurrences and considering them alongside the detailed reports he had been receiving from Section Two. He was sitting opposite her, so he could easily see where she was looking. Her gaze was into the restaurant and it was wandering over everything that was occurring. Her eyes suddenly darted to one particular spot and remained focused there but before Gendou could turn around to see what she was looking at, the manager returned.

"What would you recommend?" Rei quietly asked the slightly unsettled manager.

"We have a wide selection of vegetarian meals," the manager spoke soothingly despite his nervousness. He didn't normally spend a lot of around them and Rei speaking was a rare event.

"You do not need to restrict yourself to vegetarian meals," Rei responded as she viewed the menu.

"Well we have a lot of very fine dishes to pick from," the manager was feeling infinitely more uncomfortable as he spoke. He was well aware that they had never eaten anything but the vegetarian meals and at the moment he felt a chill emanating from Commander Ikari. Rei noticed his discomfort and new that an anxiousness would prove him ineffective in providing accurate answers.

"The shrimp for an entrée and a steak for the main course," Rei's emotionless order had the manager fumbling for a pencil.

"How would you like your steak?" the restaurant manger asked but Rei only blankly looked back. "How about a medium steak then?"

"If that is what you recommend?" the manager nodded even though he was still unsure about Rei change in behaviour. With no other response coming from the girl, the manager bowed and then went to fulfil the order. While he walked away he couldn't help but find Rei's naivety a little endearing. 

Commander Ikari had watched on impassively but the fact he didn't now that Rei had taken up eating meat meant that he would have to mention it to the head of Section Two. There was nothing Gendou liked more than informing the man who thought he knew everything about the children something that his agents failed to pick up. That aside he quickly noticed that Rei's gaze had again become fixed at some point in the restaurant. He internally debated the decision on whether or not he should turn around to see what she was watching. In the end it was reasonable to assume that whatever it was might give him an insight into the changes in her.

His first view of the room only told him that there were more Section Two agents around than usual. They didn't trigger an immediate answer until a shorter couple on the dance floor began to stand out from in amongst the crowd. He didn't need to keep watching after he saw the flash of red hair and turned away to look straight ahead. He glanced back to Rei who held then in an almost revering gaze with a hint of a smile present on her lips. He had already guessed that her prolonged exposure to the other children was influencing her and now could see it with his own eyes. Of course the changes were almost indistinguishable but at his proximity they were distinct.

"It won't last," Gendou spoke almost without thinking but he felt a need to diminish some of the admiration that Rei appeared to have for them. "Humans will always end up hurting each other and those two fear pain most of all. It is inevitable that they will hurt each other and they will not try again for fear of being hurt more. This is the fate for people in a world were barriers exist between souls." Rei turned her face back to him but it had returned to its usual unreadable expression. 

"Then your scenario is flawed," Rei's flat voice and determined look intrigued him but he showed no external change to his mood. "If you seek to reunite with Yui then you will suffer the same fate as Shinji and Pilot Sohryu. If you believe that no one can escape that fate then you will be no exception." Gendou considered Rei's words but held back his usual smirk.

"In this world that probably would be our fate but the scenario will allow me to create the world to my own specifications." Gendou spoke evenly but Rei didn't respond and continued to stare back impassively at him. She hadn't known his exact objectives but she had been able to discover little bits and pieces along the way. To Rei it was part of her purpose so she felt some need to know and understand it beyond what Commander Ikari had already told her.

"Will you still fulfil your purpose?" Gendou had intended for this evening to only gauge the changes in her. However he knew that he would need to get Rei to speak freely if he wanted to truly understand how deep the differences were. 

"Yes," Rei replied without hesitation although Gendou felt far from satisfied with a simple answer this time.

"Why?" Rei blinked at the unexpected question that required an extended answer.

"It was what I was created for, it is the reason for my existence. There is nothing more important to me," Rei spoke with resolve even though her voice maintained it monotonous tone. Gendou seemed to peer down at her, like he was trying to read her soul but she was confident. She fully believed in her words but also knew that he couldn't read her as well as he though he could. Gendou appeared satisfied by her statement and Rei truly believed in them but a nagging doubt was beginning to form. It became stronger and clearer as her eyes again focused on the two other pilots as they danced and chatted happily together.

"You should not concern yourself with them, they are of no consequence," Gendou didn't need to check this time to see where she was looking. What he found of greater significance was the way in which Rei's features appeared to soften as she watched them.

"I believe you are incorrect," Rei's response was slow in coming but belied an understanding that was dawning upon her.

"Explain," came Gendou's blunt demand as he felt his authority being challenged. Only Yui had been strong enough to defy him, once she even went as far as belittling him in public. 

"There is no AT-Field in existence between them," Rei's answer cleared his mind of the ancient memory and he focused on her.

"They are neutralising each other's fields," Gendou commented but he watched Rei as she concentrated harder on them.

"No… it is… different," Rei glanced back at him as his elbows came to rest on the table and his hands interlocked in front of his face. He carefully regarded her waiting patiently for her to fully explain herself. Rei hesitated, making sure that she could accurately describe what she could see and feel. There was also a mild curiosity about his sudden interest in them, something he had never shown before.

"Individually they still have there own AT-Fields but as they come in closer proximity their fields change. I said to Shinji that they had complimenting souls but they could also be described as harmonious. Their souls resonate at the same frequency and the closer they are, the closer their souls come to being in harmony. As a result, the AT-Field between them diminishes but the one around both of them strengthens. It could be said that they become one, even though they still exist as separate beings." Rei felt a little disappointment as Asuka and Shinji finally disappeared from the dance floor.

Rei looked at Commander Ikari but he was almost statuesque as he stared passed her and out the window. She waited to see if he would have any reaction to her explanation but with none coming she concentrated on her own thoughts. She wondered what it meant that Shinji and Asuka had no AT-Field separating them. The Third Impact had been about destroying such barriers and she had assumed that it was because there was no other way to do it. She now had an example that disproved her assumption and while it was confusing, she also felt what she believed to be relief. She didn't know why she would feel this way about her only purpose but she desperately wanted to explain it.

Her internal deliberations were cut short as the manager placed down their entrées. Rei looked at the almost alien appearance of the shrimp as they lay in an intricate pattern on the plate. The manager had been standing nearby having anticipated such a moment. He reached forward and took one shrimp making sure that Rei could see his actions. He tore the head off and placed it aside before skilfully removing the remainder of the shell. He dipped the small morsel of food into some sauce and presented it to her.

Rei took it in her delicate fingers and paused to examine it. Without further hesitation she placed it into her mouth and savoured the taste as it saturated her taste buds. She reached out and repeated the process on the next shrimp while under the watchful gaze of the manager. Once he was assured that she had no further need for his services, he disappeared to where he could wait until they needed him again. Rei didn't pay him or Commander Ikari any attention as she focused on the meal in front of her, methodically experimenting with the amount of sauce.

Gendou watched impassively between mouthfuls of food. He felt a hint of concern stemming from Rei's comments but he knew better than to question her judgement in such matters. The depth of the bond between the two pilots would only make their fall from grace that much more devastating. While the relationship between the pilots gave him greater control over them, it appeared to be aiding in the growing possibility of losing control over Rei. Gendou stopped any further thoughts on the future. The remainder of the night was to gather as much information and tomorrow would be for analysis and perhaps using the results to enhance his scenario.

The table was silent but for some it was not by choice. Kaji hadn't been able to say anything to Misato at the bar and had only sat next to her quietly sipping at his drink. Asuka wanted to talk, just like she had been when she was with Shinji on the dance floor but the mood had already been ruined. After sitting down Shinji had noticed where Misato had gone, after that he had withdrawn a bit, feeling guilty at being happy while there was obviously something wrong. Misato didn't want to speak because she didn't know if she could trust herself to make polite conversation and not try and bait Asuka. 

They continued with their entrees with none of the daring enough to comment first. Of course when Asuka finished first, that all changed as the young girl looked eager to make a scene and blame Misato for ruining the date. Shinji let his free hand clasp hers as she prepared to speak but she paused. He smiled, trying to appear happy but still with a lingering doubt over Misato. Asuka silently complied but refused to return his hand to him. Both Kaji and Misato were watching the small gesture but Kaji was the only one smiling.

"I'll be at the bar," Misato announced as she abruptly stood up and walked away. Three faces watched her go with a variety of different expressions.

"What's her problem?" Kaji looked a little surprised that Asuka had directed the question at him.

"Jealous? Wait that's not quite right… maybe she's just tired or maybe she just wants a drink but doesn't want to keep going to the bar and back." Kaji stumbled over his words not sure what was wrong but feeling that he should be able to tell.

"You don't know, do you?" Asuka eyed the man suspiciously as he tried to articulate an answer.

"Maybe she's just lonely," Shinji muttered, having not looked away from Misato after she left the table. Asuka held back a bitter remark because of the concern in Shinji's voice.

"Well then, I guess I should go and keep her company," Kaji sighed as he pushed aside his half finished entrée.

"Could you make sure she doesn't drink too much," Shinji turned to face Kaji who was about to stand up.

"I'll try but not much can stand between Misato and a beer. Of course you'll have to do something for me," Kaji's comment induced a little fear in Shinji since he didn't know what the man might ask him for.

"Sure he'll do it, so go and help Misato," Asuka's urging was more so she could have Shinji to herself and hopefully it would help relieve his mind of thinking about their guardian.

"So it's settled then," Kaji's proclamation came as he stood. "I'll help Misato and after the main meal you'll play that song I heard you play the other day. After all I said that the next time I saw you near a cello you would have to play it perfectly for me and I do believe that is a cello over there." Kaji pointed to the instrument that was sitting on the stage but when Shinji turned back to him, he found that Kaji had already left to go to the bar.

"I have to play in front of all these people," Shinji gulped as he felt his anxiety growing and he tried to estimate the number of people filling the restaurant.

"Don't worry, we'll do fine," Asuka soothingly cooed as Shinji looked like he might have a panic attack.

"We? But…" Asuka silenced Shinji with a finger over his lips.

"The music is good but the song has lyrics as well. If you're going to do this then we both have to do it. All or nothing," Shinji stared at Asuka as her face hovered close enough that he could feel her breath on his cheeks. The hostess interrupted the intimate moment as she collected the dirty bowls, plates and glasses. She quickly left the pair but Asuka was staring intently out the glass walls to the moonlit city. Shinji didn't quite know what to say and instead looked up through the glass roof to the empty looking sky.

"You can't see a lot of stars with all the lights on," Shinji sighed as an old memory pushed its way into his mind. Shinji indulged the thought by adding Asuka to the imagined scene from his past.

"What are you smiling about?" Asuka's question broke Shinji from his daydream and he realised as he opened his eyes that he was still looking up. He looked at the inquisitive Asuka as she waited patiently for him to answer.

"It's nothing," Shinji watched Asuka struggling not to scream at him because of his answer. She closed her eyes and appeared to count to ten before she spoke again.

"You know I hate it when you say that and don't say you're sorry," Asuka pre-empted the impending apology and Shinji sat motionless as he tried to think of am appropriate response.

"So what do you want me to say?" Asuka sighed in frustration at Shinji's intellectual density.

"I want you to tell me what you were thinking about and it better not be perverted." Rather than being uncomfortable with Asuka's suggestion, he found it mildly amusing.

"You know that after my father sent me away, that the people who took care of me really didn't care about me," Asuka didn't vocalise a reply but nodded her understanding. "Well as I got older I wanted less and less to do with them. I started walking to and from school rather than them driving me. Wednesdays were the worst because I had a late cello lesson and it was always dark by the time I started walking home. One day I had a sore ankle so the walk home was slow," Asuka interrupted Shinji's introspection.

"What does this have to do with what you were thinking about?" the only indication that told Asuka that Shinji had heard her question was the fact he paused momentarily before continuing his story.

"I was tired since it was taking me three times as usual to get home so I stopped by the road to rest. The road was deserted and I sat looking out over a grassy field to the horizon. As I watched the moon began to rise, it looked bigger than normal but that wasn't the only thing. The grass was dewy and as the moonlight shone on it, it began to sparkle like the stars. For the few moments it lasted, I thought I was completely alone and floating in space. I couldn't explain it but it felt comforting, like the rest of the world had disappeared." Shinji paused to sip at his drink and dampen his dry throat.

"So that's what you were think about," her comment was meet by the faint hint of a smile.

"Sort of, it was where I first had the thought of disappearing from the world. I wanted to be free of the world and to recreate the sort of atmosphere that I experienced on the edge of that field. One day I saw a picture from before the Second Impact of a yacht sailing at night on a mirror like sea. That was when I came up with the idea of sailing a yacht to the middle of a calm sea and seeing the stars and moon reflect off the water. I thought it would look like sailing through space but it is kind of stupid considering I don't know how to swim." Shinji noticed that Asuka was staring at him and looked away to where Misato and Kaji were at the bar.

"I figured you for a romantic," Asuka quiet words brought a faint blush to Shinji's cheeks but he maintained his attempts to look at anything but her.

"Asuka," Shinji was only just able to breathe her name as Asuka turned his face so that she could look at his eyes.

"Were you smiling because you thought of me being with you on your yacht?" Shinji could only nod as her voice and bright blue eyes deprived him of the ability to speak. He saw a glimmer in her eyes as they started to fill with tears. As he tried to ask her what was wrong, she lowered her to his shoulder and silently wept on his shoulder. Shinji slid his arms around her and tried to offer as much comfort as he could when he didn't know why she was upset. He placed one hand on her back and let the other caress her neck and cheek as he tried to reassure her.

"Asuka, what is it?" Shinji whispered into her ear once he recovered his voice and the courage to ask her the question. She didn't respond immediately but she moved a hand from his back up to his neck.

"If I teach you how to swim, will you take me?" Shinji was stunned by her question and the wave of tension he felt flow through her body told him to answer quickly.

"Absolutely, you don't even need to teach me to swim," Shinji allowed Asuka to lean back and she stared intently into his eyes. 

"You really want me to go with you?" Asuka's question was hopeful and it made Shinji wonder when an old daydream of his suddenly became something he wanted to do in the future.

"As long as you really want to be there with me and no where else." Shinji didn't think that what he had said had sounded quite right but Asuka seem prepared to accept it. However as her mouth opened something flashed in her eyes and no sound came out of her mouth. He couldn't describe the total desolation that he saw in her eyes as she realised that there was still something holding her back.

"I can't… I want to but I can't. It just won't let me…" her stuttered attempt at an explanation was ended as Shinji gently pressed his lips to hers. He didn't want her to spoil the night by repeating what had become his latest perpetual torture. He didn't need her to tell him that she still couldn't walk away from piloting, especially on this night. As Shinji broke the kiss Asuka looked back with some gratitude but still some sadness persisted.

"You don't need to say it, just as long as you think you'll be able to say it some day," Shinji noticed that Asuka wanted to protest against something he said but she held back. She wanted to say yes now but she couldn't bring herself to and Shinji probably wouldn't have appreciated another explanation as to why that was so.

"I will," Asuka whispered, smiling as she fully accepted within herself that this was just another obstacle to overcome. Shinji sighed in relief as he reciprocated her smile and he relaxed into his chair.

"So do you want another dance?" Shinji hesitantly asked after neither of them could figure out what to do next.

"No I'm happy right here," she rested her head on his shoulder and looked into the restaurant as Shinji took her hand in his. "Besides we both need to save our energy for our performance," Asuka could feel Shinji tense up as he remembered the deal he made with Kaji.

"Do we have to?" he groaned as he again tried to mentally count the number of people in the large room.

"Yes, I want to sing," Asuka pouted as Shinji decided to give into his fate.

"I guess it won't be that bad," Shinji conceded as Asuka smiled in victory.

"Of course it won't, I mean you've be given the chance to perform with the great Asuka Langley Sohryu." Shinji chuckled at her confidence and Asuka chose not to insist on finding out what he found so funny.

"Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?" Shinji found some comfort when Asuka's hold on him intensified a little after his comment. They both left the question unanswered and were content to remain in the companionable silence. While Asuka thought about her up coming serenade Shinji was still a little concerned about his guardian. He glanced over to where the old lovers sat on the corner of the bar. In front of them sat a couple of drinks that had yet to be cleared away. A dreaded image of a drunken Misato embarrassing Asuka and himself as they performed wormed its way into his consciousness.

He hoped that she would be able restrain herself just like he hoped he wouldn't make a mistake. As he thought about it, he hoped that Kaji wouldn't provoke an undesirable reaction from Misato. A myriad of possible outcomes raced through his mind and none of the outcomes would see him leave the apartment for at least three months. He looked down at Asuka to find some reassurance and felt slightly isolated when he realised that she had drifted off to sleep. Looking around he could see that no one else noticed or cared. He let out a contented sigh and found some peace in the face of the sleeping girl in his arms. For the moment he didn't care what happened later, as long as he could always remember this moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** You know what comes here and I assume no one reads these cause I don't. However for legal reasons and because I don't want to be sued, I don't own Evangelion.

**Author's Notes:** I think it's been two months since the last chapter was posted. I have been slack but the wait should have been worth it. I actually got a pre-reader. I sure this will please some of you who have commented on that before. Sorry for the delay about that but in the end I was asking her to pre-read my other current fic. Anyway most of the format changes are down to her and they were greatly appreciated.

Before I forget I should mention that many thanks go to Karina Kineshi for her pre-reading efforts.

Shinji's Lullaby

Chapter 7

"I think Asuka is asleep," Kaji commented after being silent since his arrival at the bar. 

Misato's only reaction was to turn her head to the side and observe them from the corner of her eye. She held her gaze for a few moments before turning back to her beer. She didn't know what to do: torn between not wanting to talk and not wanting to leave them alone. 

"You know…talking about it might help?" Kaji's question went unacknowledged by Misato as she stared into the polished hardwood bar. He had seen this face before; it was one she rarely wore when she wasn't alone and appeared when she was lost about something deep and personal.The last time he had seen it had been just days before their college relationship ended. 

"They're not like us," Misato's distant comment didn't get an instant reaction from Kaji.

Kaji swirled the ice in his drink before finishing it off with one swift sip."I doubt that anyone could be like them." When Misato didn't respond he gestured to the bartender that he wanted another. 

"I don't think they're ready," Misato was still staring at the bar and hadn't noticed that the barman was still filling Kaji's glass.

"From what I've seen, I don't think you're ready either," Kaji watched her features harden as she lifted her face to stare at him.

"You're not really qualified to say something like that." 

"I think you know that I'm just as qualified as you are," Kaji maintained an emotionless façade as her stare bore into him. 

Misato knew he was referring to the fact that her only significant relationship had been with him. She turned away from him, frustrated in part by her glass being empty.The bartender was quick to respond but returned to the far end of the bar quickly as Misato looked increasingly aggravated. 

"And what would you know?" she coolly demanded despite her desire to yell at the straight-faced man. 

Kaji calmly sipped at his drink before he responded, "I only know as much as I've been told and most of that has come from Shinji." He didn't want to stare at her when she was making every effort not to meet his gaze.

"So you don't know anything then," Misato's firm statement was made as she stared hard into her beer.

"You mean I don't know everything," Kaji corrected.

"Whatever,just stay out of my business," Misato tried to focus on her drink and ignore him. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him about this because it would probably bring up a past she was trying to forget. However,the longer the silence went, the more she dreaded it; as there was nothing to stop the memories from surfacing.

"It's not something I can do easily since I made a deal with Shinji to take care of you and stop you from doing something silly." Kaji smiled at Misato's scowl but hid it behind his glass as he took another sip. 

Misato turned so that she could view the young couple and saw them in the same position. Shinji appeared to be dozing off, but he lifted his head and looked straight at her. After a few moments he offered a weak smile,but she guiltilyturned away and missed the disheartened frown that crossed the young man's face. 

"You know I'm beginning to think that Shinji was right," Kaji absently commented as he motioned for another refill.

"About what?" Misato tried not to look too interested but a glance in Kaji's direction told herhe wasn't falling for it.

"Before I left the table we were just theorising on why you were so upset. I first thought you may have been jealous but Shinji seemed to be pretty accurate. Maybe you are just lonely," Kaji resisted the urge to acknowledge Misato's reaction.

Her eyes had widened before a forlorn sense of inevitability began to filter through. She idly played with her glass as she waited for Kaji to say something. Hopefully he'd say something…before her despondence could take a greater hold on her heart.

"Shinji said that?" Misato didn't want to speak but as she did she realised that her fears had been correct. Her desolate voice was soft and without much conviction.

"He should know what it's like to be alone but he can't understand why you are persistently interfering." Kaji swirled his drink, letting the clinking ice fill the silence that had descended.

"You think you have all the answers, don't you?" Misato's attempt at a scornful remark failed miserably but Kaji had the grace not to recognise it.

"I wouldn't say that but I think I can see why you feel the need to be around them," Kaji didn't elaborate and appeared to have a greater interest in his drink rather than Misato. 

"Why don't you enlighten me?" Misato's sarcastic request belied her growing trepidation. It was a rare thing for Kaji to be serious, especially around women. Misato knew that better than anyone else. 

He liked being able to read people and he enjoyed goading them even more. However he became serious when he felt he needed to reveal something to someone he knew. She had witnessed it once when he had a conversation with Ritsuko in college and Ritsuko hadn't reacted kindly. She had faced a couple of her own intensely personal conversationswhen they were alone but they always felt like he had read her soul. It was something she wanted to avoid. 

"Outside of NERV, Shinji is the most important thing to you. Previously he's had to rely on you for a lot but now that Asuka has become his main motivation you think you're losing him. Nomatter what you say, you consider them your family but you feel threatened by their closeness. Maybe you just feel left out. Whichever it is, you've just been trying to maintain some part in their lives when they're not piloting. Of course since it's all new to Asuka and Shinji they want to spend as much time together as possible. They aren't getting the privacy they think they deserve and that's where all the conflict is coming from." Kaji hadn't looked at Misato once and instead had stared at the back of the bar with a sombre expression.

"You think I rate my job as being more important than Shinji?" She tried not to scream but she was still loud enough to turn a couple of heads.She would have preferred to throw her drink in his face, slap him silly and then drag the children home to bed. 

Kaji kept his cool and appeared to be perfectly composed. He met Misato's gaze with one of his own that showed his own resolve. He could see that shewavered under his scrutiny but made no outward sign that he recognised her moment of doubt.

"If Shinji was really your son, would allow him anywhere near an EVA?" Kaji watched Misato's mouth open but her first attempt to form a word failed.

"There's no one else that can do it, if he doesn't the world will end," Misato gave Kaji a dark glare as he smirked at her answer.

"A valid point but also a convenient excuse."

"And I suppose you'd be different?"

The atmosphere appeared to thicken as he pondered that idea."No, I probably wouldn't," Kaji admitted and then proceeded to down the remainder of his drink.

"Then what do you want from me?" Misato's question came quickly but Kaji didn't answer. Misato watched as he calmly waited for the barman to refill his glass. She had the bartender do the same for her and then expected Kaji's answer when they were left alone.

"Give Shinji and Asuka a chance. Start acting as their guardian rather than always being their commanding officer. Just what is your problem with them, anyway?"

Misato shuffled her beer between her hands for a few moments before answering."You don't ask for much but it's more than I can give. If they can't or chose not to pilot, it's my responsibility. I can't just let them do what they want. Like it or not they have responsibilities too." Misato stopped when Kaji looked mildly amused by what she was saying.

"You know I never thought I'd hear the word 'responsibility' come out of your mouth," Kaji chuckled to himself while Misato looked miffed.

"We can't all live like we're still in college," she quipped back,hoping to knock the smile of his face. Contrary to her intention, Kaji seemed to find the attempted insult complimentary.

"From what I hear from Shinji, at home you'rejust like you were back then."

Misato didn't dignify Kaji's comment with a response. He tried to settle himself down as he remembered that he had intended on getting some answer but had drifted off the topic. While Misato may have welcomed the silence, he was trying to think of a way to get her to speak. He wasn't helped by the fact that the waitresses were moving to their table to serve the main course.

"Did you know that Shinji plays the cello?"

Misato shifted in her seat nervously."I know he owns a cello but I've never heard him play," Misato hadn't really considered her admission before but she felt awkward now that she knew she had never seen or heard him play. She also became a little unsettled as a sly smile appeared on Kaji's face.

"How about me make a deal, if I can get Shinji to play here tonight, then we go out to a bar and you tell me what I want to know. If I can't… then I'll stay quiet and never talk to you about this again," Kaji's smile made Misato think of a used car salesman, amplifying her suspicion.

"I don't see why I should agree to a deal like that."

"You should relax, I mean,you win either way!If you win, I'll never question your judgement ever again. If I win, you get to see Shinji perform on stage. Come on, you have nothing to lose, I'll even pay the bar tab if you drink with me." Kaji waited patiently for Misato's answer as he watched the waitress deliver their main courses to their table.

"If Shinji's too afraid to play his cello in front of me, what makes you think that he'd play it on stage in front of this crowd?" It sounded as though Kaji was willing to bet against the odds and she suspected that he had an ace up his sleeve. 

"You've just made the best argument for you to accept the deal. So what's it going to be?" 

"Okay, I'll agree but don't expect me to justlet you con Shinji into going up onto stage," Misato quicklytook her beer and made her way back to the table. Kaji silently followed behind confident with the knowledge that Shinji had already agreed to perform.

For Misato, the main meal passed quickly despite her lack of participation in the conversation. Misato didn't mind since she felt that no matter what she said, Asuka would take offence. However, she felt a little left out as her two wards jovially conversed as they devoured their lobster. 

Asuka did most of the talking,mainly instructing Shinji on how to eat the red shellfish. She also included a moderate amount of teasing but found that the relaxed Shinji would occasionally respond with a comeback that she couldn't beat. 

While they enjoyed the evening, Misato continued to glance at Kaji as he sat next to her. He didn't seem to have noticed the constant flitting of her eyes in his direction; instead he only appeared to be acting with an air of calm dignity. Gone were the charming smiles and flirtatious comments as he watched over the two children with what she could only describe as pride. 

She was almost like a fly on the wall, as Kaji would occasionally interject the two teens so that he could add hisown opinion. They never discarded his advice and were accepting of his input, which made Misato feel a little envious.

It wasn't just his interaction with them but how they viewed him, especially Shinji. She had only ever seen them together at the various parties that she had hosted at her apartment. In nearly all of those cases, Kaji had spent most of his time either trying to charm the female adults present or fending off the amorous advances of Asuka.Also in those instances,Shinji had taken a backward step, staying out of the spotlight and happy to have everyone's attention elsewhere.

They were different but they seemed to gel together in a relationship that for the first time she saw as almost parental. She knew that they had talked regularly ever since Kaji came to Tokyo-3 but the reports from Section Two did little to convey the sentiment of their friendship. 

There was a comfortable air around the table that usually wasn't present because of Asuka's temper or Shinji's introversion. For them both to be conversing with a calm ease was a dream but to have Kaji included and not herself left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"I haven't had a meal like this in a long time." Asuka sighed as she chewed some of the lobster.

She had lived with them since they came to the city but she didn't think she could participate in their conversation without ruining the atmosphere. She had learnt more about Asuka and Shinji from listening to their discussions in the last week than in the whole time she had known them. She had to admit that she was jealous of how easily Kaji seemed to be able to relate to them. Watching the three of them was like watching the dream she had harboured about herself when she moved the two pilots into her apartment.

She had wanted to provide them with a stable living environment. A home that was relatively normal in the abnormality that was Tokyo-3 and Project-E. Someplace where they would feel safe and wanted, where they didn't have to believe the only reason they were there was to pilot. Where she could possibly fill some important role in their life away from her job as their commanding officer and maybe they could do the same for her. She sighed as she realised that it was never a realistic reality. 

If Kaji hadn't boxed her in, she would have left for the bar. Misato doubted that anyone would have noticed her departure. As she finished her meal, that idea became more appealing since she had no more food andwas running low on beer. A glance around the table confirmed that everyone else was also coming to the end of their meal. She wondered if they would really care if she excused herself and left for the bar.

As she leaned back in her chair, she remembered her deal with Kaji. The truth was that she was in a winning position either way. Maybe she would be able to drink herself into incoherence before she had a serious chat with Kaji. Besides it wasn't like she was going to lose considering he had barely made an attempt at persuading Shinji. Slowly she started to realise that she may have already lost. 

Misato figured that he would try something but she hadn't really considered the possibility that Kaji had already convinced Shinji to perform on stage. Her mind reeled like a punch drunk boxer as she realised the she had lost the instant she had agreed to his little wager. When he smugly smiled at her bemused expression, she knew that it was all over.

With the main course coming to an end, she started to resign herself to the inevitable. She leaned forward, propping her elbow on the table and resting her head in her hand. Resisting her previous urge to escape to the bar, she decided to fill the gap in the discussion.

"So Shinji, what are you going to do when you don't have to pilot anymore?" Misato's innocent question caught the rest of the table by surprise.She hadn't spoken since she sat down and for her to start with such a question seemed peculiar.

"Do you really think that he's thought about what he's going to week, let alone what he's going to do after we save the world?" Asuka's theatrical statement wasn't exactly filling Shinji with confidence. While he didn't have any substantial plans, he at least thought Asuka wouldn't have been as dismissive of him.

"Not everyone has earned a college degree by the time they're fourteen. I doubt anyone would take you seriously no matter how smart you are… orshould I say think you are?" Asuka was infuriated by Misato's insinuation and her gaze hardened to a menacing stare. However, Misato had already turned back to Shinji, ignoring her reaction. 

Shinji was sitting stiffly in his seat, fully aware of the rising tension. Caught in the middle, the place he hated most, he could do nothing but wait for Misato to continue. 

"Do you have any plans? I know you play the cello… but I always saw you as a philosophy kind of person… maybe teaching… or possibly a chef?" Shinji watched Misato's musing with increasing angst. He nervously glanced around the table to see that both Asuka and Kaji were also waiting for an answer. He had never told anyone of what he wanted to do with his life. 

"I think you're good enough to be a concert cellist but to get the best classical music education you'd probably have to study in Europe. Although the thought of 'Shinji's Lovely Diner' is somewhat appealing," Kaji rubbed his bare chin to emphasise his contemplative tone. 

Misato imagined walking into a restaurant and being greeted by a cheery Asuka in an apron. The scene continued as it showed Asuka being polite to people she would continually described as being unworthy of her attention. "But can you imagine Asuka being the kind and patient waitress. That's something I could see Hikari doing… but not Asuka," Misato added teasingly.

"UnfortunatelyMisato, Hikari is only interested in that dumb jock Toji and not my Shinji." Misato gave Asuka a brief glance that was supposed to conveya message for Asuka to relax. 

Asuka couldn't decide whether Misato was dismissing her statement or thinking that she'd prefer Hikari in her position. She glared at Misato but she was already focused on Shinji who seemed happy that the conversation had gone off topic.

"You never said what you wanted to do,Shinji."

Shinji swallowed nervously in response.

"Come on Shinji, you're among friends so there is no need to be ashamed," Kaji's words of encouragement did little to sway the tentative pilot. In the end Asuka nudged him in the side, prompting him that she too was interested in what he had to say.

Shinji focused on his hands that were sitting in his lap but eventually gave into the inevitable."Kyoto University," Shinji whispered as a defeated sigh that was almost unheard through the noise of the restaurant.

"What were you going to study?" Asuka's tone was soothing compared to the cold, harshertone she reserved for answering Misato.

"Kyoto, didn't your father study there?"

There was a slight murmur from Kaji as he scoured his memory for an answer. "Actually,I think his parents met while they were both at Kyoto University." Misato held Kaji in her gaze or a few moments after his informative comment before she turned back to Shinji.

"Well I hope you're going there for your mother's sake and not your father's," Misato was glad to see Shinji firmly nod in agreement with her.

"I wanted to see if I could find out something about her," Shinji's voice was still quiet and he appeared to be more like when they first met.

"I thought you said that your dad destroyed everything that was hers?" concern was clearly visible in Asuka'seyes, as he appeared to be retreating into his thoughts again. 

"I don't think he could have destroyed everything. I just wanted to find something. Even a yearbook photo would be…" The table slipped into silence as they considered Shinji's heartfelt dream. 

"You never answeredAsuka's question," Misato's observation cut through the silence before it became oppressive. "What were you planning on studying?" 

Shinji looked blankly at Misato. "I hadn't given that much thought," he confessed with an embarrassed smile as he scratched the back of his head.

"Idiot," Asuka playfully chided as she flicked his nose with her finger. For a moment therewas a flash of panic in Shinji's eyes until he realised that shewasn't being serious. He blushed slightly as he noticed her smile. Further discussion was put on hold as a waitress came to claim the disused plates.

"Could I have a word with the manager?" Kaji sweetly asked the waitress as she cleared away the last of the plates. He placed his elbows on the table, linking his fingers so that he could prop his chin on them. His head tilted on a slight angle as he looked up at the wide-eyed girl. 

"He's… kind of… busy… at the moment… um… attending to some… other guests," the waitress stammered, blushing as Kaji smiled at her.

"He could spare a few minutes, couldn't he?" Kaji broadened his charming smile and Misato pitied the waitress, as she appeared to have lost all brain functions. As she stood there like a deer in the headlights, she forgot about the plates that started to slip from her grasp. 

"I'll see what I can do," the waitress responded having recaptured the plates and regained some control over herself. 

Kaji turned back to the table looking proud of himself but both Misato and Asuka were not impressed.

"You know she's probably a University student," Misato darkly commented as Kaji watched the waitress approach the manager.

"She's just an airhead, anyone with any self-respect would've behaved in a more dignified manner," Asuka saw the sudden spark of mischief in Misato's eyes and waited for the inevitable strike.

Misato smugly smiled at Asuka, as the girl's face flushed with a hint of red. "At least she didn't throw herself at him and try to permanently attach herself to his arm." 

"I did _not_throw myself at him," she growled threateningly but it was more for her own benefit. When Asuka looked at Misato, she wore a look that said she thought otherwise. Kaji was discreetly looking in the other direction and as she turned to Shinji as her last hope she saw that he was not so subtlytrying to avoid her gaze.

"What do we need to talk to the manager for anyway?" 

"How else are we going to get Shinji on stage to perform?" Kaji was still looking at the waitress and the manager as he spoke. After a few moments the manager gestured for Kaji to approach. Kaji left the table, winking at blushing waitress on the way.

"So he already convinced you to play tonight," Misato mused to herself as she watched the discussion between the two men.

"Yeah but I don't think he knows that Asuka is going to sing as well," Shinji absently spoke as he also watched Kaji. 

Misato turned to him, taking note of his anxious demeanour, and then to Asuka who was looking on with anticipation. "Maybe it'll be worth it after all…" 

Shinji stopped looking at Kaji and turned to the wistfully looking Misato. "What do you mean?" 

"I made a deal with Kaji that if you played your cello here tonight, he would take me out to a bar and pay my tab." Misato left out the part about telling him what bothered her about their relationship, knowing that they would probably like to know as well.

"I asked him to try and stop you from drinking too much," Shinji spoke with a frown as he returned his gaze to Kaji.

"At least we won't be around when she makes a fool of herself," Asuka ignored Misato's glare and focused her attention on Shinji. "Don't freak out on me."

Shinji could only nod dumblybut continued to fidget nervously.

"Relax Shinji, it's just like public speaking. Just think of the audience naked," Misato leaned forward to make sure that Shinji would notice her suggestive pose. She smiled as both Shinji and Asuka's faces reddened but for opposite reasons. 

"I thought you were supposed to imagine them in their underwear?" Asuka discontentedly queried as she frowned atMisato's seductive posture.

"I don't think it matters much to him," Misato's statement drew Asuka's attention to the glazed look in Shinji's eyes.

"You better not be thinking of Misato naked Third Child." 

"I wasn't… I wouldn't… I was thinking about yo…" Shinji clamped his hands over his mouth before he could finish what he was saying.

Asuka hesitated, blinking several times as she stared at him. Caught between angry retaliation and her own risqué thoughts, she could only blush. She continued to look at Shinji, who hadn't moved, until a sly smile spread across her lips and she leaned in closer.

As she drew near, Shinji lowered his hand, allowing Asuka to lightly brush her lip against his before she moved her mouth to his ear. "They're red," she breathlessly whispered making sure that the warm air caressed his skin. Leaning back she saw her tense boyfriend trying to comprehend what she meant. 

From the corner of her eye, Asuka noticed Kaji trying to get their attention.He was gesturing for Shinji to join him near the stage and the manager of the restaurant. She stood up and Shinji abruptly copied her, more out of instinct than conscious thought.

He stepped to the side and waited for her to clear the table before he asked to inevitable question.

"What did you mean Asuka?" Shinji tried not to swallow as Asuka mischievous smile triggered his natural reaction: fear.

"I was just giving you a little descriptive help. Underwear or naked, it still applies," Asuka started to walk to the stage dragging the dumbstruck Shinji along with her.

Shinji was glad for the pain coursing through his shoulder, since it distracted him for the revelation his mind was on the verge ofreaching. Putting thoughts of Asuka's enigmatic comments aside, Shinji tried to focus on the task at hand. 

He wasn't helped by the fact that his biggest previous audience consisted of the three bridge bunnies. Shinji's fear of the audience began to pale in comparison to another realisation. He'd forgotten the music.

Little did he know that Asuka was having a similar problem when she tried to recall the lyrics.

Gendou Ikari had maintained strict discipline in his life ever since the death of his wife. He had deprived himself of what were simple pleasures and comforts in preparation for one day when they would be reunited. His body had been cleansed and remained as sterile as possible so that his implant would be accepted, not rejected. 

He had spent years flushing his system of the toxins and hormones that had built up in his body after years of eating meat and other animal products. It was suggested that there was only a minimal risk of the artificial products interfering with his plans but all risks needed to be eliminated. This left him in a paradoxical situation as the other vital half of his plans unknowingly took the risk he avoided. 

He had watched as the manager set down their meals and Rei's eyes had widened slightly at the sight and scent of her steak. She had stared down at it few moments, considering itssize, shape,and texture. 

With her eyes intently fixed on her meal, she picked up her knife and fork and sliced a small portion from the whole. Carefully studying the tanned meat pieced by her fork, she appeared to be fascinated by it as if it was a precious stone. 

It was little more than a slight hesitation and if someone watching had blinked, they would have missed the small chunk of meat being devoured. Rei savoured the taste of the meat and itsjuices as she chewed it thoroughly before swallowing. 

She repeated the process but didn't bother to examine her next cut of the steak. She slowly added other the other vegetables to the small portions of meat, enjoying how the mixture of flavours enhanced the experience.

Gendou had kept a steady watch over her as they both ate and was loathe acknowledging his own body's reaction to the aroma of the cooked meat. 

If anyone else had considered it, they would have visualised him eating a rare and bloody hunk of beef with a goblet of blood red wine on the side. It was an image that fitted nicely with the gothic appearance of his office but he had preferred his meat well done. 

There was a sudden shift in Rei's eyes as the red orbs tracked the movement of something in the restaurant. 

Gendou had seen enough of the other two pilots and didn't look back. 

Rei also appeared to lose interest them and she continued to chip away at the large steak that had been reduced by half. He found himself grateful that soon she would remove the temptation from his sight.

However he had to consider the implications of such an event. The risk for him was minimal but they had never considered the risk for her, even though they were both equally important. She had always been obedient to his wishes and he had assumed that despite their lack of contact, she would have devoutly continued to live as he instructed her. The fact that she had chosen to eat meat showed some disregard for his discipline. 

Her eyes suddenly darted to the sound of a cello being played. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on Shinji as he frowned at the cello as if it had somehow offended him. Rei noticed that the cello's owner didn't appear pleased as Shinji retuned his instrument. 

Before the owner could voice his protest to the brown-haired boy, Shinji played a short, melodic tune that silenced everything. The restaurant came to a standstill and the cello's owner stopped his protest, all after hearing Shinji's short improvised harmony. 

Rei understood why, as the soft music felt like it was tugging on her soul. She forgot what she was doing and focused completely on Shinji as he fidgeted with the instrument. Her bemusement increased as Asuka pushed the piano seat to the centre of the stage and instructed Shinji to sit on one side of it.

He repositioned himself so that he was perched on one side of the bench like seat with Asuka sitting on the other. Shinji was half turned away from her as he settled the cello and himself into a more comfortable position. 

Asuka waited patiently, looking almost shy as she sat facing the audience with her head bowed and a microphone clasped between her hands in her lap. She waited for Shinji to begin and eventually Shinji became motionless pausing to gather his thoughts.

Neither of them had looked at the now anxiously watching audience. They all appeared to have understood that something exceptional was about to happen and were waiting in complete silence.

Rei felt a shiver run from the tips of her toes to the top of her head as Shinji played the opening notes. It was as if the cello guided by Shinji had sent a pulse of energy through the floor and the entire audience had felt it. Rei allowed herself to be swept away by the music, not noticing Asuka raise the microphone towards her lips.

Gendou listened to the familiar tune with his eyes firmly clenched closed. He had tried to banish it from his thoughts after hearing it for the first time in ten years a few days prior. It was a reminder that he didn't need or want but he receive another as his eyes opened.

As he gazed at the face of the girl across from him, he realised that for the first time she resembled the woman who made her existence possible. Her face was caught between joy and sorrow, as the melody appeared to dictate every facet of her features. He idly wondered if the emotions that were being displayed were actually registering in her mind as being her own.

His moment of bliss was brought crashing down as the voice of the Second Child began to resonate with the deeper harmony of the cello. He froze in place midway through cutting his food into sizable chucks. His infuriation rising as the song continued, he persistently put more pressure on the cutlery until the crockery gave way. The resounding crack did nothing to disturb the song or the tranquil and emotive atmosphere of the restaurant.

Gendou stood and strode out of the restaurant. His presence wasn't noticed by anyone as he passed through the tables and out the door. The room was timeless, everyone too entranced by the music and the performers to recognise or acknowledge anything else.

Rei was absolutely captivated, spellbound by the song that she felt on so many different levels. The feelings were only amplified as Asuka began to move from her position.

She had been sitting on the opposite end on the small bench to Shinji and there had been a small space between them. As the song became more powerful, she slowly slid to Shinji's side. She leaned on him without disturbing his rhythm and gradually lowered her head to his shoulder.

Rei observed the emotion that the two teenagers were conveying intensified as they became closer. She could also feel how their proximity had a similar impact on their now combined AT Field. The field was resonating with the emotion in the music and the emotion came from the combined efforts of her fellow pilots.

"Is this what it means to become one with another?" Rei whispered to herself, unaware of the moisture gathering in her eyes.

As the music began to reach its peak, Asuka turned away from Shinji. She lifted her legs so that she was lying with them stretched over the length of the bench. She was left side on to the audience with her back pressed against Shinji's. She tilted her head back and for a brief moment opened her eyes to behold the moon and stars that were visible through the glass roof.

Her eyes closed again as the melody reached its climax and then slowly faded out, her voice accompanying it all the way. 

With the music dissipating, all that was left was silence. The audience was awestruck and the two children indulged in the fulfilment of themselves after having banished their darker emotions, leaving the overwhelming joy they felt only in each other's presence.

No one would remember how long the silence had extended but it was ended as an overly enthusiastic cheer erupted from a voice Rei easily identified. 

Misato's applause was quickly followed by the rest of the restaurant who acted with a little more dignity than Misato.

The sudden noise had also startled Asuka and Shinji as they stood up accepting the thanks of the crowd. Their hands were locked together but it seemed Asuka had done it more to hold Shinji in place rather than any need for comfort.

Watching on, Rei felt a chill on her skin as a slight breeze passed by her. Her hand traced the damp line down her cheek following the path that the single tear had taken. She didn't remember crying and she couldn't fathom why she would have done such a thing. Looking up to the other side of the table she was surprised to see that only a half eaten meal and a broken plate remained.

Her eyes drifted back to the two other teenagers in the room as they warily made their way through the clapping crowd and back towards their seats. She looked at the fingers but the moisture from her single tear had already dried. With an intense desire for answers, she stood up with her plate in hand and walked in the direction that she had last seen her fellow pilots.

Shinji had been terrified standing up on stage and had only stayed because Asuka had held him in place. He could see that her smile was a little more forced than usual and his hand ached from her powerful grip. Shinji had the feeling that she had been just as nervous as himself, even though she appeared to crave attention. They walked through the crowd acknowledging the audience with nods and words of thanks but they both wanted to reach their table.

As they approached, a new sense of dread descended upon them as they saw Misato waiting for them. She was standing with tears in her eyes but they couldn't mask the emotions that were clearly showing she was just about to launch herself at them.

The inevitable came, neither child able to avoid the woman as she wrapped an arm around each of them and pulled them into a fierce hug. Between cries of joy she also appeared to be whispering words of praise but they couldn't quite distinguish the muffled words.

"Rei?" Shinji gasped out as Misato's hug started to lessen his oxygen supply.

"Wondergirl?" Asuka incredulously questioned, as she broke free of Misato to get a clear look at the blue haired girl.

"Interesting to see you here Miss Ayanami. May I say that you look quite attractive in that skirt?" Kaji added his patented charming smile and a polite bow to emphasise his compliment.

Rei looked up at him and even though she knew the intent of his words, she couldn't help but blush. A quiet voice in the back of her mind suggested that she had dressed differently to gain similar praise from Commander Ikari. The more rational part of her mind said that she would only receive praise from him when she performed her duties and never for anything else. 

If she had any resemblance to being normal, she probably would have sighed at the thought.

"What are you doing here?" Asuka asked, her irritation clearly showing as she stood with her hands on hips.

"It is arestaurant; I came here to eat," Rei stated the obvious, despite still holding her plate in front of her.

"Oh, so why don't you just join us?" Asuka loaded her words with as much sarcasm as they could hold.

"Thank you for the invitation Pilot Sohryu," Rei moved to the table.

Asuka gaped at the blue haired girl before sighing. "Should have known a doll wouldn't understand sarcasm," Asuka grumbled under her breath. She turned to begin another tirade at Rei's expense when she noticed that Shinji was watching her with concern.

"Have you been crying Rei?" Shinji's quiet question turned everyone's attention to Rei. 

Rei was stunned by the unexpected question and a little uncomfortable as Asuka approached her. The red-eyed girl watched her fellow pilot's blue eyes as they examined her.

"You need to clean off the make up if you cry.At least you'renot as bad as her," Asuka pointed at Misato who had just released Shinji. 

Misato was unconcerned by the dark smears below her eyes and stepped over to the table where she produced a handkerchief from her purse. After wiping away the majority of the mess with the aid of a small mirror, she cupped Rei's chin with her hand and tilted her head up. She carefully wiped the pale stain from Rei's cheek before picking up her purse.

"Looks like we'll have to redo our make up. Follow me Rei," Misato walked through the restaurant with Rei staying a step behind. Again she winked and smiled at a few of the men she past and grinned triumphantly as she looked back from the bathroom door to see Asuka and Kaji looking a little annoyed by her antics.

"You'd think she'd grow up." 

"Now, now Asuka, she just having a little fun," Kaji responded, trying to sound casual about Misato's behaviour. 

"Well,she could try doing it with a little more discretion," Asuka smoothed out her dress, uninterested in continuing the conversation.

Sitting next to her, Shinji was still coming to terms with what had just happened. He had forgotten the crowd in the euphoria of the song and it had been an almost heart stopping shock when the applause had finally started. It was praise and a reaffirmation of his worth that he had always treasured but it was also meaningless.

Now that the buzz had finally worn off, he felt empty and he knew why. The praise meant nothing since it hadn't come from the one person he wished would give it to him. No matter what had happened and how things had changed, Shinji still thought that he needed to prove his worth to his father.

A smile graced his lips as he thought of how Asuka would admonish him for wanting the praise of such a cowardly man and despicable father.

"Excuse me," the manager startled Shinji out of his thoughts as he appeared at the table. 

Everyone turned to face him and waited for the man to explain his sudden intrusion.

"On behalf of the staff and the patrons, I'd like to thank you for such a magnificent performance," Asuka sat up proudly, while Shinji looked a little uncomfortable with the man's praise.

"They are exceptional children," Kaji added, noting the opposite reactions of each of the teenagers to his words.

"That they are but since we are only a restaurant, we are lacking an appropriate gift. It would probably be better if you accept this for them sir. Hopefully you we willbe able to hold onto it until they are allowed to drink it," the manager handed Kaji a bottle of wine.

Kaji wasn't a wine expert by any means since he preferred beer or spirits but he knew of a couple of wines. They were mostly of the expensive variety that wasused to charm women with more delicate tastes. From memory, the cost of the bottle in his hands would probably be more than what he earned in two months. 

"That's not really much of a present," Asuka grumbled, obviously not knowing the wine's value.

"Don't worry my dear, I have the kitchen preparing you an excellent dessert with the management' compliments. It should be here shortly," hecollected Rei's half eaten steak and then left for the kitchen.

"You know Asuka, I'd have to do some research but this bottle is quiteexpensive. It might be a good idea to save it for a special occasion when you two are married and will be able to appreciate it more." Kaji smiled as both children blushed at the suggestion that they would eventually marry. He was starting to see why Misato like teasing them so much.

As they waited, a soft voice appeared over the background noise of the restaurant. "Where did my steak go?" Rei asked after she appeared to suddenly materialize by the table. 

"The manager took it away to make room for dessert," Shinji informed her and she looked a little annoyed by the revelation.

"Don't worry about it Wondergirl, they are bringing dessert."

Asuka was about to complain about Rei still standing when Shinji realised that she didn't have a seat to sit in. He quickly stood up and fetched an unused chair from a nearby table. He then seated Rei at the table, trying to avoid the threatening glare from his date.

"Thank you, Shinji," Rei bowed her head slightly as she spoke.

Shinji, who had just seated himself, was about to say something in reply when a thought struck him.

"Rei, weren't you with Misato?" Shinji's quiet query drew Rei's attention away from the scenery outside.

"She said that she required additional refreshments," Rei immediately looked back out the window after speaking.

Shinji looked confused by her statement but Asuka was annoyed that Shinji wasn't paying her the attention she deserved. "The only thing Misato finds refreshing is a cold beer." It had been meant as an offhanded comment but as soon as the words left Asuka's mouth everyone except Rei looked to the bar.

Their fears were confirmed as they spotted Misato filling a drinks tray with as many different beers as she could fit. The barman looked concerned whilethe other men at the bar just stared in amazement.

They didn't focus on her for long as they noticed the approach of two waitresses carrying an assortment of desserts. They effortlessly carried the cumbersome load to the table and Shinji had to remind himself that he didn't need to offer his assistance.

Rei had been expecting her usual dessert of a simple bowl of fruit. When the waitresses placed down the exotic looking dishes onto the table, she was intrigued. She determined that they were probably delectable by the Second Child's hungry look. She had seen that look in the eyes of Aida and Suzuhara as they gazed upon the lunches made by Shinji and she had always found them delicious. 

"Who ordered all this?" Misato's curious question came from behind Rei but the major quickly seated herself with her tray of beers.

"It's compliments of the management," Kaji declared as he attempted to get a hold of one of Misato's beers.

"These are mine but who owns this?" Misato slapped Kaji's hand away and then picked up the bottle of wine.

"It's a present for the children," Kaji informed her as she replaced the bottle back on the table.

Misato wasn't really interested in it, mostly because she knew nothing of wine. She chose to ignore it and instead looked over her selection of beers.

"Try this," Asuka held a spoonful of chocolate mousse up to Shinji and he hesitantly accepted it.

"Isn't that cute?" cooed Misato, irritating Asuka and embarrassing Shinji.

"May I also have one of those?" Rei's polite request stopped the impending argument. 

Shinji handed her one of the two remaining bowls whileMisato eyedthe last one.

"Looks like you'll have to share," Asuka taunted back when she noticed Kaji also seemed interested in the last bowl.

Misato's gaze shifted from the mousse to Kaji and then to her tray of beers."He can have it, I have my beer," Misato's arms encircled her treasure and asshe hugged the tray.

"Are you sure you should be drinking all that?" Kaji had unusually voiced his opinion on the side of caution. 

Misato eyed him suspiciously, "Remember that you were the one who is taking me out to a bar tonight. This is just my warm up."

Shinji was watching her with a mixture of concern and fear while Asuka look completely disgusted by her guardian's admission.

"Besides, you'll have to drive the children home and you wouldn't want to set a bad example by drinking and then driving." Misato completed her short speech by flashing a brilliant smile and then downing a beer in a matter of seconds.

Kaji smiled at the woman he knew well.

Shinji and Asuka decided against pointing out the fact that she herself was setting a bad example.

Rei ignored them all as she enjoyed the rich taste of her chocolate mousse.

Gendou Ikari stood before the purple behemoth known as Evangelion Unit-01. He stared up through his tinted glasses to where the eyes of the beast glowed. Since it was not activated, there were only two pitch black holes in the purple armour staring back at him. 

Gendou still continued to watch it even though it was not looking back at him. He stood tall with his arms behind his back. His left hand gripped his right wrist as if it was trying to hold it there. His body didn't sway or lean, as he stood perfectly perpendicular with the floor. The room was deadly silent with no one else in the cages at this time of night. From behind the tinted glass came the only movement, Gendou blinked.

He bowed slightly, his left hand temporarily releasing his right so that it could adjust his glasses before returning it to its former position. As he moved there was an audible sigh that echoed through the empty room. "It should never have changed, it was perfect," Gendou returned his gaze to the monster of his own creation. "I was happy. We were happy, weren't we? Maybe it was just part of SEELE's plans or was it your own? You had to choose to leave this world, so why did you? But that would be a stupid question. You did it for him," Gendou continued to stare up at the purple beast.

Unit-01 gave no acknowledgement of what was being said nor did it give any indication it could understand.

"Once you discovered that you were pregnant things started to change. You were always the most important thing to me but I was no longer the most important thing to you, if I ever was in the first place. You devoted everything to the project like I did but you devoted just as much to him. When you sought comfort you would seek him out and he barely left your side for the few years you shared together. Can you really blame me for ignoring him like you ignored me?" 

Again the Eva stayed silent, as Gendou appeared to wait for an answer.

"And now he rediscovers that song, the song you sang to him incessantly. You never sang for me and when I heard you singing a song you wrote for him, it was only further evidence of your detachment from me. I didn't realise until you were gone how much you had removed yourself from my life but that will change. He may have found happiness for now but it will not last and in the end he will be the tool that will return you to me. There will be no one else. It will be only us, forever. The time is coming and I will allow nothing to interfere with my plans," Gendou stood motionless, a smirk firmly in place on his lips. 

He wished to see some reaction or sign that he had been heard but nothing happened. The only time that the gigantic being would move on its own was for his son. Gendou waited a few moments more before he turned and marched out. He remained unaware of a presence standing high above him in the shadows of the control room. 

The room was sound proof but the person had the external microphones on and had turned the sound down on the video that played on a screen. 

Kouzou Fuyutsuki pushed a button that turned the microphones off and then turned up the volume of the video. He stood in much the same posture as Gendou but his face was adorned by a pleasant smile. He let the music fill the room. Its very existence seemed to inspire the man with defiance against Gendou. 

However there was little he could do and when the music ended so too would any thoughts of interference in his plans. He couldn't help because he found himself surrounded by darkness, only the music bringing him any light.

It was something that he could call upon when things seemed too much. He had the original, a tape of his dictations that he had left on when Yui appeared for an unexpected visit. She had Shinji with her and during their conversation he had become unsettled. 

She sang the song to him to help him drift off to sleep before they had continued to talk. The tape had ended before the conversation but it was his only remnant he had of her. He had only found it when he had been looking to his old life for a reason to go on and that tape had been part of it.

"You'd be proud of him and you would have liked her," Kouzou whispered to the empty room as he viewed the screen. It displayed the surveillance tape of Shinji and Asuka as they performed at the restaurant. He smiled as the song came to an end and the crowd eventually burst into applause. 

He could see Shinji trying to avoid the spotlight but Asuka wouldn't let him leave her. Basking in the spotlight was something that Asuka would have normally loved but she was holding Shinji at her side.

"Maybe there is hope for them yet. Maybe it'll be enough to save us all," Kouzou forlornly spoke as he ended the playback. He took the disk that held the video and tucked it into the inside pocket of his jacket. 

It was over his heart along with the tape of his conversation with Yui, the only place he felt anything was safe. He left the room feeling a little happier and with a little more confidence that the children wouldn't be as predictable as Gendou believed.

The elevator doors opened to what could have been a scene of Kaji and Misato during their college years. Instead it was of Shinji and Asuka who were only tired, not incredibly drunk.

Shinji leaned against the back of the elevator with one hand around Asuka's waist while the other hung by his side holding the bottle of fine wine. The auburn haired girl had both hands around his waist and her head on his shoulder. She appeared to be close to sleep but still fidgeted as she tried to get herself comfortable in her position.

It took a moment for him to realise that the doors were open and he slowly moved forward. He was still feeling the effects of his large meal but reminded himself to call Rei in the morning. He could still remember her getting out of the car, her pale face showing almost a hint of green after she ate too much dessert.

Asuka allowed Shinji to guide her through the elevator doors as shegradually started to move on her own. The movement started to reawaken her mind and she groaned in protest, having had more dessert than she could handle. Although one benefit was that she was now leaning heavily on him and had practically crawled inside his jacket while he was still wearing it. 

Shinji moved the bottle to his other hand and thenmanaged to get his keys despite the girl clinging to him. He opened the door and shuffled through it with Asuka apparently starting to drift back to sleep. Dropping his keys back into his pocket, he closed the door.He was hard pressed to wake her but it was the best of any alternatives he could think of.

"Asuka. Asuka wake up," he spoke tiredly, also feeling the effects of the lack of sleep from the last couple of days. He switched the wine bottle back to his other hand so that he could use the arm wrapped around her to help pry her off. "We're home," he tried again, this time using his arm to pull at hershoulder.

"Want to sleep," she mumbled as she tired to hold onto him but she eventually let her grip loosen. She stood up on her own, wiping her heavily laden eyes with the back of her hand.

He gave her a warm but exhausted smile before he stooped down to undo the laces of his shoes. As he started to kick them off he felt her put some pressure onto his shoulder. He looked up to see her using him to keep her balance while she slipped off her shoes.

"Stupid Doctor Akagi and her last minute synch tests," she grumbled to herself. She quickly became aware that he was staring at her and her first reaction was that he could probably see down her dress. However,when she looked at him, their eyes locked and she knew that he'd been staring at her face the whole time. She stood up straight, blushing as she became self-conscious of his adoring gaze.

He slowly lifted his hand to brush a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. He could see in her eyes how the contact between his palm and her cheek dispelled the doubt from her eyes and brought out a look of contentment.

They shared a blissful smile but it was left to her to take the initiative.

She tentatively stepped closer, reassured by his hand that continued to caress her cheek despite her movement. She had to suppress a giggle as his eyes showed his surprise at her sudden proximity. She noticed that he was about to say something but he was pre-empted as she kissed him.

He was timid at first but slowly relaxed and became more confident in his actions. He continued to match her as she increased the intensity and heard her murmur her approval as he slowly backed her up against the wall. 

Asuka, feeling it against her back, reached under Shinji's jacket and pressed her hands to the back of his shoulders. She felt him take the hint and move closer to her, momentarily breaking the kiss to sigh in contentment before redoubling her efforts in another drawn out kiss.

Both of them felt the increase of temperature that was caused by the increase in passion but it only drove them closer. The overwhelming emotions that they were experiencing became a drug that neither wanted to give up. 

As he sought to get as close to her as possible, he finally released the bottle that had been holding at his side. It was something he'd later see as a blessing as is it landed squarely on his foot.

"Ouch," the sudden pain in his foot made him break the kiss. "Sorry," he whispered as he back away from her. He didn't get far because of her holding him close by but he did look down accusingly at the bottle.

She moved her face closer to his, pressing her forehead to his and examining him from close range. "Idiot," she huskily whispered without any trace of anger, only a hint of amusement.

Shinji could see the longing in her eyes but a small voice in the back of his mind reminded him of a nagging doubt. When she tried to reengage the kiss, he backed away. At first he didn't get far with her refusing to relinquish her hold but as he persisted, she let her hands slip from his shoulders.

He could clearly see the fear in her questioning eyes as he tried to remember exactly why he stopped. She waited patiently, letting him gather his thoughts so she could get a clear answer. His presence was calming, which added to her tiredness. It was a soothing combination that made her want to fall asleep in his arms.

"We should probably go to our rooms," Shinji spoke, his voice was anything but convincing. He bent down and picked up the undamaged bottle, trying to avoid her frown.

"Why? What's the matter?" Asuka tried not to plead but took a firm hold on his jacket to make sure he couldn't move. She examined the doubt and apprehension in his eyes even though he was looking at the floor.

"It feels right but there's still something wrong," his stammered answer did little to impress her.

"You're not making much sense," her level voice warning to him to be more articulate.

"I just can't let myself go like that. I don't want to surrender myself to you, just be hurt again," his defeated attitude annoyed her more than what he said.

"It's just kissing, it's not like I'm asking you to give me your soul or sleep with me," she noted that venting her frustration wasn't helping. Through his eyes, she could see the turmoil of his mind as he started to panic. 

"I know that but… I can't…" His hand came up to his head as if had a severe headache.

She watched on, as he appeared lost in anguish as he tried to figure out something that he couldn't fathom. She felt a pang of guilt for pressuring him when she knew that he wasn't adept at expressing himself or dealing with pressure.

"It's only been a week," he began as his hand fell to his side. "It's been one of the best weeks of my life but it's almost… surreal. A dream that's so unlike anything else in my life that it can't possibly be real…but it is. That's why I can't forget that you can still hurt me," he paused as he heard her gasp. He quickly tried to clarify.

"What?" she asked, prompting him to act faster.

"I mean… you and Eva. For now at least, I'm not the most important thing to you and it's hard to not think about that. I want to give you everything but I can't if you can't do the same. I'm sorry," he slowly walked away and she heard his door shut.

It wasn't that she was upset, more that she understood to the point where she was also suffering from an inability to understand her feelings. Her mind had been constantly reminding her of the pain he could cause her but she had banished that idea through sheerwillpower.

Now she was beginning to realise how much of a strain her position was having on him. She hadn't committed to him but he had to her. He had given her time and while she had been debating her own problems she had forgotten that he had to endure the wait.

She slowly pushed off the wall and paced to her room, feeling a weight on her shoulders after realising a simple fact. Upon returning from the best date she had ever had, she had been seeking comfort from him so that it was easier to forget her own problems. It was search that had led to more problems than it had solved. 

She silently slipped into her room, wondering how she could remedy the situation.

Shinji decided that at the moment the best place to forget was in the shower. The warm water wasn't as good as a hot bath, but he was too tired to run one. Hewould have preferred a long walk with his SDAT but it was too late for that.

The last two nights hadn't been the kindest in terms of sleep for the young teen. One night was plagued by doubt after his fight with Asuka. The other had been with the ever-present scent of LCL after Doctor Akagi informed them of an unscheduled synch test.

She had obviously heard of Asuka and his little argument and had decided to test their ratios when they were most vulnerable. Luckily they were able to maintain the progress they had made after Wednesday's tests but Ritsuko had seemed determined to find some fault with the results. 

Misato had confided in him that it was his father that had ordered the tests. It came as no surprise to him and was another reason why he was worried about Asuka'seventual choice. His father seemed to be waiting for them to fail so that he could separate them.

He gritted his teeth as he turned the water off, the shower having lost its mind numbing effect. He stepped out of the shower and quickly wiped away the excess water before putting on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He draped his towel over his shoulders before making sure the bathroom was presentable.

"Not much point cleaning when Misato will probably be vomiting by the time she gets home." He sighed as he wished she'd control her drinking for once. He walked back to his room, the towel over his shoulders stopping the water from his hair dripping onto his clothes. He sat heavily on his bed and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he massaged his temples.

So preoccupied with removing the dark thoughts from his mind, he failed to notice the shift in weight on the bed until his towel was lifted over his head. He instinctively tried to escape the unidentified presence but his movements had been anticipated as a pair of hands held him down.

"Sit still idiot, I was just trying to dry your hair," Asuka harshly whispered in his ear to calm him down.

He stopped struggling and after a few moments the weight was lifted offhis shoulders. He then felt her begin to massage his scalp through the towel. The soothing action made him hesitate in asking why she was there.

"I'm hereto talk," Asuka stated surprising Shinji by answering a question he hadn't asked.

"About what?"

"Us of course stupid," she couldn't help but sound a little annoyed by his lack of insight.

"Oh," was all he could dejectedly say, unable to see the mixture of irritation and concern it causedher.

She bit her tongue to hold back any remark she was thinking about and instead continued to dry his hair. It was just something to buy her enough time to think of a new approach, considering he was less enthusiastic than she anticipated.

As a plan formulated in her mind she didn't hesitate in acting. She let the towel drop back around his shoulders and leaned into his back. Her arms wrapped around his body but also pinned his arms so that he couldn't move. She could feel the tension in his body but didn't speak until he relaxed into her embrace.

"You like being close to me, so why were you afraid when we got home?" Asuka spoke in a calm voice while her chin rested on his shoulder.

He didn't quite know how to answer. Her proximity was both soothing and invigorating but it was a combination that wasn't conducive to clear thinking. Fortunately, she answered his question for him.

"You were afraid to over commit yourself and that if you did, I'd hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm…" 

"You can't say that if you would leave me just to pilot!" His sudden outburst caught her by surprise.

She then released him as she slowly backed away."There's no need to shout," she grumbled as she leaned against the wall, pulling her legs up to her chest.

"Sorry but…" He stopped speaking, too tired to think about what he felt. "Do you know that my father was away on Thursday? He was in Tokyo-2 talking to the UN but when he got back yesterday, the first thing he read was the Section Two reports on us. He was the one who called yesterday's synch tests," he expected an answer from her but he didn't get the one he planned.

"So? He's the commander of NERV and he said that if our synch scores dropped that he'd have us separated. Of course he was going to order the tests at the most inconvenient moment." She noticed the tension in his shoulders as a sure sign that he wasn't pleased with her effective defence of his father.

She continued to watch him as he let his shoulders slump and his head hang forward. She inched her way forward until she was sitting alongside him and looked down at his face. He appeared to blankly staring at the floor so she put an arm around his back and pulled him closer.

She didn't feel the need to talk; she only wanted to comfort him. The moonlight was only just able to illuminate the scene as she glanced around. Her eyes focused on the picture frame by the bed. Leaning forward, she was able to eliminate the glare that hid the image from view. She wondered if they were ever going to be as happy as they looked. 

"You know that I've never really had anything to live for?" Shinji began hesitantly buthis words graduallycame with ease and brought a sense of clarity to his thoughts. "I didn't even care if I died. I just wanted to disappear. But now I have you and the closer I get the less I want to let go. It… it scares me that no matter how hard I hold on, there will always be something else that you would want more. I'm scared that I'm going to give you everything and try my best for once in my life but it won't make a difference and you'll still leave me." 

The silence after his heart wrenching speech was oppressive. From their previous conversation that evening, she knew that he was feeling the strain of keeping the balance. What she hated to admit was that she hadn't really considered what it would feel like if she were forced to choose. 

She was starting to realise that choosing Eva over him was now harder than it had been. She wanted the comfort he brought, the peace of mind she found in his touch and the reassurance that he would never intentionally hurt her.

She recognised that there was a bond that was strengthening, even after theirfight. It was close to what she felt during their synchronisation training only it was fulfilling to the point where she was content. That thought was both frightening and comforting: having something that calmed her restless soul but acknowledging that she would disregard it just to pilot her Eva.

Asuka stood up suddenly, releasing a growl of frustration. She looked down at him as he stared up at her and she finally decided to act now and think later. "Let's talk about this tomorrow," her statement was made as she pulled the towel from his shoulders and pushed him onto the bed. 

He stared up at her confused for a moment, noting that she was impatiently waiting for something. Realising she was waiting for him to climb into bed, he quickly scrambled to do so. He pulled back the sheets and rolled over but as he lay back, she jumped onto the bed and quickly draggedthe sheets over them.

"Ah …Asuka," Shinji gasped. 

"You said that you wanted to hold onto me, so here's your chance," her voice did little to relax the stunned boy. Slightly annoyed by his lack of response, she quickly moved to give him a deep kiss. As he started to kiss back, she pulled away and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"That's better, now let's go to sleep." Although they were in much they same position, as they had been the first time they had slept in the same bed, he still felt tense in her arms. She fidgeted at first, trying to get comfortable before glancing up to see him staring at the ceiling.

"What's the matter with you? It's not like we haven't done this before." She waited for an answer but his face started to flush with colour.

"Ah… it's not what we're doing, just… what I saw. They were…um… red." He shut his eyes and waited his punishment after what he said but he felt her press her face into his chest. The warmth that followed suggested to him that she was blushing but he choose not to mention it.

After a few moments silence, he asked, "Isn't Misato going to be mad if she finds us like this?" 

"She was already drunk when we left the restaurant and she was going to a bar. She won't be up till after midday or she won't come home at all. Either way we'll be up before she realises we were in the same bed. Just relax, I don't want to think anymore today," her voice was beginning to fade as she succumbed to sleep.

"Okay…" He yawned trying to let his mind rest but thoughts of tomorrow persisted. He knew that it would probably be a tense discussion so he'd need to create a relaxed atmosphere. It would also help if they were alone. "Do you want to go on a picnic tomorrow, so we can talk." He gazed down at her and blinked when he noticed that she was looking back with a small smile. 

"Sure,but we're going somewhere where you can swim," her sleepy voice seemed to enticing him to doze off as well. 

"Why? I can't swim." He sighed,a little dejected by the thought.

"I know but you have to learn sometime if you are going to take me sailing." She tiredly attempted to blow a disturbing strand of hair away from her nose.

He yawned, moving her hair for her. He looked down to see that she had fallen asleep and tried to settle himself down into a more comfortable position. After he settled down,the sleeping girl snuggled closer to him, her head shifting so that her breath tickled his neck.

Finding her steady breathing a soothing comfort, he quickly found himself drifting off. His thoughts were untroubled as he at first failed to remember and then gave up thinking about what problems they had yet to solve. As he surrendered the final vestiges of consciousness,he held her as close as possible, wishing that it could always be like that.

Feeling that it had only been a few seconds but knowing that it had been several hours, Shinji rolled onto his side and turned off the alarm. He didn't need to be up that early and he wanted to sleep as long as possible but he soon realisedsleep might not be an option.

His eyes snapped open when he felt Asuka's breath on his face. He didn't know whether to be happy or scared that her uncertain eyes were looking back at him. 

In his efforts to reach his alarm clock, he had rolled to his side and brought his face to within inches of hers. With their bodies pressed together and their lips almost touching, he decided to be scared as a mischievous glint in her eyes was followed by an equally impish smile.

"At least you waited for me to wake up this time," Asuka whispered in a playful tone, kissing him before he could stutter out an explanation or an apology.

He slowly joined in the kiss and moving on instinct let his arms encircle her and pull her closer. If his lips weren't busy he would have smiled, as she seemed to hum her approval of his actions. 

They paused a moment to catch their breath and stared at each others flushed faces with a mixture of desire and amusement. Both of themwere thinking the same thought.

'It can't get much better than this.'

As they resumed,they couldn't have understood the prophetic nature of that thought. Neither knew that they were at a peak in their short relationship. If they had they may have acted differently or said something more,which may have helped in the longer term.

Either way, they didn't know that the intimacy they were sharing would be the highest point before one of the biggest falls in their lives. A descent that was initiated by the sound of three mobile phones and a horde of air raid sirens that announced the arrival of the next angel.

**Additional notes: **Yes, this is the end. From the start I never intended to write about the angels and Third Impact. Before you start ranting in your reviews, there will be an epilogue. It'll take place after the movies but for details you'll just have to wait till I finish it. 

Constructive criticism is welcome as always. I'd like to know what you think of the changes and maybe Karina would be interested as well. The only thing for me to do now is to finish the epilogue and redo the earlier chapters; they need to be brought up to standard. So much work to do before I'd even consider posting it to EFO but that's how it goes.


End file.
